3RDGEN- Been out of town a few days and just saw this thread today. I'm so sorry for your loss as I lost my mom about a month ago as well. But I'm even more sorry that your mom was not there for you emotionally or in any other way. I can relate to your experience because my dad was exactly the same way. Nothing I ever did pleased him- just like your mom with you. The mental abuse we suffered in this criminal organization the JW's- is monstrous and nasty.
I found out from my son that apparently my JW brother, an elder, had not told his fellow JW's that he had a younger brother either. Because a " sister " asked my son " who are you " ? And he said " I'm Flipper's son, Flipper's the younger brother of the brother who gave the talk " and the JW lady said, " I didn't know he had a younger brother. " Then my older brother said in front of my son, " Oh yes, he's the " black sheep " of the family. " Nice " Christian " thing to say right ? Yet WHO was it that sat up all night the final 12 hours with my mom dying until her last breath ? Yep- the " black sheep " of the family.
Don't let the bastards grind you down my friend, most of those JW's are clueless, they have no heart and they are jealous of US because they realize they'll never have as much heart as we do. Don't worry about impressing them- they are not worth the effort. They are wolves and jackals. Hang in there, my wife and I are very sorry for your lost years with your mom. With love to you, sincerely, Mr. Flipper & Mrs. Flipper