I used to be a resue diver on the local fire department, now I have about $1000 worth of gear sitting in storage that I don't use anymore... After the water gets a little warmer I'm thinking of digging it all back out, and trying it again.
EK
i went to the local dive shop today to pick up a used shortie wet suit.
forty bucks--can't beat the price.
while i was there, the owner told me that i could complete my training course that i started 4 years ago.
I used to be a resue diver on the local fire department, now I have about $1000 worth of gear sitting in storage that I don't use anymore... After the water gets a little warmer I'm thinking of digging it all back out, and trying it again.
EK
i just read a reply on another thread (doesnt really matter which one) in which a person made reference to 2 elders and said that they were not too bright, perhaps inbreeding.
presumably this was said because the guys acted in a stupid manner in their counseling and were from the american south.
are southerners really stupid and inbred?
I just couldn't resist. Please take no offence to this.....
The 40 Things Never Said By Southerners
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
a new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
after mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
the monsignor replied, "when i am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, i put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So on the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say, "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
EK
Edited by - elders_kid on 11 November 2002 17:44:48
can anyone give me some suggestions or advice on options for discreetly taping a discussion?
say if a person were having a conversation in their own home with some guests.
how might this best be done without causing undue alarm or needless questions requiring awkward explanations?
Small digital recorders in your pocket work well for spontaneous recording, but I think that the ones with the small tapes work much better. While the quality of the recording may be similar, with a tape you don't have be concerned with space limitations, you just change the tape. Also, it has been my experience that if you take the tape and put it into a safe place for later use it will be less likely to fall into the wrong hands.
As for recording in your own home, the possibilities are endless.
Check out a company called shomer-tech. They have a good supply of covert audio and video recording devices. Here is the link...
http://www.shomertec.com/index.cfm
Good luck.
EK aka 007 of the I wish I were a spy class
shall we play a game?
i was thinking this might be funny and perhaps a bit of mental exercise...try to create the longest sentence you can using only usernames....i'll try first... wild turkey balanced lyineyes' fire dragon betweenworlds waiting elsewhere.. sincerely,.
district overbeer
lol @ xena...
they ran over the Elders_Kid and his animalEK
i was reading the post on our standing within the congregation http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=40040&site=3&page=3 and no matter what part of the world we live in, its always the same thing.. it is always the elders kids that get away with murder while the ones that are really trying to do the right thing always get blamed for it.. when i would mention this to my mum she would always reply with, satan has already got them.
he is trying to get you.. if you are getting persecuted.. it means you are doing the right thing.. does that sound strange to anyone other then me?.
kelps
It is always the Elders kids that get away with murder while the ones that are really trying to do the right thing always get blamed for it.
I beg to differ. I was told in by my judicial committe that I didn't commit any disfellowshipping offenses, but that I had established a pattern of unrepentance. I believe that elders kids are held to a higher standard than the rest of the congregation, adults included.
You are told that anything you do will reflect on your family, and especially, your father's position as elder.
I can't count all the times that I was told this, and told by my father how embarassing it is to have to deal with his son getting into trouble. It seems that they never learn, and now that I have no contact with any of my JW family (their choice, not mine), it pains me to see that they are forced to choose a religion, or more specifically their status within the religion, over family.
EK
prounounce each letter as a letter and each word as it sounds slowly several times.
i m wee todd it.
i m sofa king wee todd it.
I M Sofa King Wee Todd It
You said it, not me.
EK
Hi. I am not a witness, and I am not a teen.
Have a nice day.
EK
im 16 and i live in san diego and i'm jus wonderin where the girls are!
?
If you happen to find a decent looking JW girl, you will also find that she also wears a titanium chastity belt that can never be removed. So much for taking it for a test drive before you buy it.
Besides, who would want to marry somebody who they are currently calling "sister" anyway?
EK
reading an earlier post about the caffeine "intervention" reminded me of this: remember lynn newton's online glossary of "theocratese"?
i remember this entry under "coffee" coffeestimulating hot black liquid, consumed in great quantity by most hard-working christians in the usa; the drug of choice for most any occasion.
one co calls it ``the elixer of life''.
My dad used to drink coffee all the time, I'm quite sure that he was addicted. He would go out of his way to make sure that he had a cup of coffee.
...an elder who said that we wouldn't be eating meat in the new system, because it wasn't good for you.
Another funny double standard. My dad would say "I'm gonna walk into the paradise with a steak hanging from my mouth". Seems that he didn't think it would be right to take away meat.
I think it is wrong how there can be so many double standards in the religion. It hurts so many people, and only those with high ranking positions can get away with it.
EK