TheHypnoToad

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Posts by TheHypnoToad

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  6

  Politically Correct Hillbillies

  by kitten whiskers in

  1. social
  2. humour

  saw this in the newspaper.

  thought you all would enjoy!.

  " due to the climate of political correctness now pervading america, those of us in alabama, georgia, virginia, west virginia and kentucky will no longer be referred to as, "hillbillies".

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  TheHypnoToad

  Hey dawgfan! How's my Appalachain American kin doin'? This "Damn Yankee" didn't write it! I guess what I'm sayin' is I don't know who I am anymore---boo hoo. Well, time to get off the pity wagon and fry them possums up! Go DAWGS! Kitten Whiskers
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  3

  Wisdom

  by TheHypnoToad in

  1. social
  2. humour

  a wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

  he spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

  then a new school year began.

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  TheHypnoToad

  A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.
  He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
  
  The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.
  
  After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face.
  
  "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."
  
  The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.
  
  "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"
  
  "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!"
  
  And the old man enjoyed peace.
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  6

  Politically Correct Hillbillies

  by kitten whiskers in

  1. social
  2. humour

  saw this in the newspaper.

  thought you all would enjoy!.

  " due to the climate of political correctness now pervading america, those of us in alabama, georgia, virginia, west virginia and kentucky will no longer be referred to as, "hillbillies".

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  TheHypnoToad

  So we are "Damn-Yankee" "Appalachian-Americans" now.
  
  
  
  
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  4

  God Joke.

  by TheHypnoToad in

  1. social
  2. humour

  two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood.

  the people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys.

  so the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys.

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  TheHypnoToad

  Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, "Where is God?" The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, "Where is God?" The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy’s face and asks again, "Where is God?" The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, "We are in BIG trouble!" His brother replies, "We haven't done anything!" The younger brother replies, "God's missing, and they think we did it!"
  
  
  TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
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  13

  This is hillarious

  by Stealth453 in

  1. social
  2. humour

  http://www.banditos.info/speles/sobersanta2.swf.

  hint...stay away from the tracks.. enjoy.....

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  TheHypnoToad

  I got 640.
  
  Its fun and just like real life and booze!!!
  
  
  BTW, KittenWhiskers a score of 200+, thats what drunk is not what I was at the Christmas party (about a score of 100).
  
  
  Now I got 984 (trying to verify the above numbers).
  
  
  TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
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  17

  worldly friends as a young jw..

  by candidlynuts in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading this thread here http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/126156/1.ashx .

  regarding child custody "coaching" etc..... and in it is a discussion about kids having "normal" friendships with worldly kids... many of us grew up jw and i was wondering what your personal experience was regarding having worldly friends.. .

  .

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  TheHypnoToad

  I had neighborhood friends till i was about 12/13 then it was only JW friends (although the three of us were living double lives, we swore, looked at Playboy, tried to do things with girls that JW's were told not to, and much more) it was that way till both of my JW friends took off at age 17 to live with worldly of DFed relatives. Then I was alone till I took off to go live with one of them when I was 19.
  
  Then I went back to my JW parents after a few months of being bad, then I started to have "good" JW friends.
  
  
  TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
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  32

  Drinking (booze) among "Gods" people......More then ever now?

  by new boy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  looking back its amazing how many alcoholics i knew in the "borg"...................... there are 3 elders in my old hall alone........ that are full blown alcoholics...................... when, have you ever heard of someone.......anyone.......let alone and elder............ getting "dfed" for drinking too much?.

  when i was at bethel........you wouldn't believe how much drinking was done there!.

  there are stories of the old days ( russell & the judge)..where they would find guys passed out in front of the 124 building on sunday mornings........no big deal, just dust them off.............. and bring in.

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  TheHypnoToad

  Well I can say that from what I saw/did this is very true!
  
  For me I don't drink much now (maybe two or three drinks every other week), but when I was a JW I LOVED alcohol! Others new it and came to our house to drink. I had enough hard liquor to fill a bar. And when we had a party it was cases of beer for for only 5 or 6 hard drinkers (me being the worst since I didn't have to drive home, and could hold my beer very well).
  
  
  TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
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  21

  Do elders 'frighten' you?

  by gypsytart in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i put 'frighten' in quote marks because i'm not sure that's exactly the word i'm looking for.

  i've been away from the borg for 10 years now, and it doesn't bother me these days when i'm called on by jws - most of whom i know as i'm living in the same area still.

  i can quite happily stand up for myself to them - although i have to be a little careful what i say as i was a fader and never df'd.

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  TheHypnoToad

  Only the control they have over my parents and extended family and my family.
  
  But fear men like them other than that, NO!
  
  
  TheHypnoToad don't sign no post!
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  12

  Merry Christmas to All on this Forum

  by love2Bworldly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas!

  hope someday all who post here feel comfortable celebrating fun pagan holidays.

  it's nice to be together with family and friends on holidays.. .

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  TheHypnoToad

  Yeah!!!
  
  Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to y'all!
  
  Boy it is strange to say this, I still haven't gotten used to saying it to others!
  
  
  
  
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  20

  Worst platform jokes

  by Fleshybirdfodder in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  remember those jokes we heard time and time again from the platform yet still everyone got a good (fake) chuckle?

  i remember hearing this one a million times: "a pioneer was stressing about which vehicle to buy for service, but remember, jesus said '"follow in my footsteps, not my tire tracks!!!

  fbf.

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  TheHypnoToad

  Worst platform joke
  
  Was
  
  Me giving a public talk.