Here's a link to the thread. Take time to look at them all. Empty your bladder first.
exwitless
JoinedPosts by exwitless
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8
Wanted: funny JW stories
by exwitless inok, so i've had a really busy and exhausting week.
i could really use a good ex-dub laugh!
you guys have some of the funniest stories sometimes, i laugh so hard i cry.
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19
Kingdom Hall wedding
by Wanita innot a witness but have them as neighbors.
i have been studying watchtower publications for years and have spent lots of time in discussion with witnesses in hopes of having them read the bible without watchtower glasses on.
i will be going to a jw wedding soon and am wondering, since i'm not a witness, what to expect.
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exwitless
Welcome, Wanita.
Well, JW weddings are a little too staunch and serious, if you ask me.
Don't expect to hear any traditional wedding music. Only JW music is to be played inside a Kingdom Hall.
Don't stand up when the bride comes down the isle. They think that's giving too much "glory" to the bride.
There will be a long, boring talk about marriage.
They can exchange rings and vows, but the vows are written by the "higher-ups", and are completely devoid of feeling.
There is no rice throwing. The bride will not toss her bouquet; the groom will not toss the garter.
At the reception, there is no offering of toasts to the bride or groom.
Don't say "good luck", or use the word luck at all. Witnesses have this thing about the word "luck". (It's dumb)
This is just for starters.
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8
Wanted: funny JW stories
by exwitless inok, so i've had a really busy and exhausting week.
i could really use a good ex-dub laugh!
you guys have some of the funniest stories sometimes, i laugh so hard i cry.
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exwitless
Darn, no one's in a joking mood. I'll try again later. Good night.
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6
How Hard Are You Working?
by prophecor inwe were conditioned to believe that our work in jehovah's service was sure to bring about his approval.
though many of us here are no longer witnesses, has this mindset been reflective in your personal work ethics?
do you take your job way, too seriously?
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exwitless
I'm very hard working and ethical. I go the extra mile because I take pride in my work. The dubs DID NOT make me that way. I was that way before I became a dub and I'm still that way as an ex-dub. My husband and I found out the hard way that just being a JW doesn't automatically make someone a good, honest, hard worker. As JWs, we owned a small business, and of course, hired JWs. Very few of them were good employees. We found most of them to be lazy and did only what they had to to get by. It was almost like they were taking advantage of the fact that we were JWs, because they thought we should just understand that their work wasn't important; only meetings and service were important.
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Wanted: funny JW stories
by exwitless inok, so i've had a really busy and exhausting week.
i could really use a good ex-dub laugh!
you guys have some of the funniest stories sometimes, i laugh so hard i cry.
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exwitless
OK, so I've had a really busy and exhausting week. I could really use a good ex-dub laugh! You guys have some of the funniest stories sometimes, I laugh so hard I cry. Got any more funny stories? Examples: funny things that happened at a meeting, in service, at a "get-together", or whatever.
Also, you talented ones who make WT cover parodies-keep 'em coming. One of the first ones I saw when I started lurking on this board was one called "Angels Watch You Poop". I laughed so hard at that one my stomach hurt and I thought I was going to pass out because I couldn't stop laughing long enough to breathe.
Funnies? Please?
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exwitless
Three young brothers were announced as df'd at a meeting. A young pioneer sister at the same meeting was reproved. After the meeting a few people went up to the reproved sister and hugged her. At the next service meeting, there was a special needs part given about not hugging someone who was publicly reproved. The elder said, "Would you put dirty underwear over your head? NO!"
That is one of the most cruel and unloving things I've heard being said about a reproved one in her very presence. I find it repulsive that an elder would say such a thing. Comparing one of the "sheep" that they are supposedly trying to offer "loving" redirection and help to dirty underwear! I think I would have stood up and walked out of the KH when he said that.
Dirty underwear. Ah...feel the love. What loving, wise, and tender words to use to help a stray sheep return to the flock.
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Girl Scouts
by lonelysheep inhey all.... i grew up 'worldly' and was a brownie, then a girl scout for about 7 years.
i had a blast.
we took trips and participated in community activities such as volunteer work.
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exwitless
I just inhaled about 5 thin mint cookies. Girl Scout cookies are awesome! We NEVER bought them as dubs, because we were aware of the unwritten rule. However, one day in casual conversation with an elder's wife, she mentioned that she ordered some cookies that day from a girl selling in the neighborhood. I was surprized and kinda mad, because I had written them off as a non-dub acceptable thing. All the wasted years!!
It's so petty of the to discourage buying cookies from the Girl Scouts, or popcorn from Boy Scouts, or a $1.00 candy bar from a YMCA kid. I mean really, they make it sound like you're giving money directly to Satan himself.
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exwitless
It'll drop by at least 3 this year, because this is the first year the three of us aren't going! Woohoo!
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List of family/friends lost to the Watchtower cult? (suicides)
by hubert inafter reading about puternuts (ari) suicide, and also reading about sabine and js losing their daughter to this cult, i think it would be a fitting memorial, so to speak, to write a list of all the people we know who died because of this cult.
i also know that cruzanheart lost her dad to it, too.
i'm sure there are many here that can make a list of suicides brought on by the shunning/threatening policies of the watchtower cult.
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exwitless
I only personally knew one - young man, early 20's, single, ministerial servant, pioneer (I think). Hung himself from a railroad bridge over a river. I don't believe he left any sort of suicide note. There was a little speculation why he did it, which all made it his problem - 'maybe he was under a lot of stress', or 'he probably had a major problem that he couldn't bring himself to confess to the elders', or other implications that he was simply weak or sinful in some way.
Since this was the first JW suicide I knew of, I didn't know their non-funeral policy yet. So when I casually asked when the funeral would be, I was told "Oh, no, there won't be any funeral for him. He's committed an unforgivable sin - self murder, and he has no chance to repent.' So they shipped his body back to where his family was and that was the end of that.
I was shocked at the heartless, cruel attitude displayed toward his death.
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31
Do you Sudoku?
by BlackSwan of Memphis ini tried the one in the newspaper the other day and just about solved it.
but thought i should start small and work my way up to get a better understanding of how it's played.. so i picked up a sudoku mag at target the other day.
it's an easy one and i'm really getting the hang of it and enjoying it.
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exwitless
Exwitless says
I love Sudoku. My son has Brain Age for the Nintendo DS, and it has a ton of Sudoku puzzles in it. I've finished all the basic and intermediate puzzles. I have about 7 advanced ones I need to finish.
OK how did you get to the advanced level.You have to finish all the sudoku games in the basic level first; then it opens up the intermediate level. Once you finish that, you get to the advanced level. Them suckers are hard! I have about 5 more advanced puzzles to finish, then I guess I've done them all on that game.