Wanted: funny JW stories

by exwitless 8 Replies latest social humour

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    OK, so I've had a really busy and exhausting week. I could really use a good ex-dub laugh! You guys have some of the funniest stories sometimes, I laugh so hard I cry. Got any more funny stories? Examples: funny things that happened at a meeting, in service, at a "get-together", or whatever.

    Also, you talented ones who make WT cover parodies-keep 'em coming. One of the first ones I saw when I started lurking on this board was one called "Angels Watch You Poop". I laughed so hard at that one my stomach hurt and I thought I was going to pass out because I couldn't stop laughing long enough to breathe.

    Funnies? Please?

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    Darn, no one's in a joking mood. I'll try again later. Good night.

  • pierogi
    pierogi

    Where can I find Angels watch you poop? I want a good laugh.

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    Here's a link to the thread. Take time to look at them all. Empty your bladder first.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/25/119811/1.ashx

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    Here's my second favorite picture I've seen here, courtesy of "V", I believe:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/120673/2130031/post.ashx#2130031

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Well, it's not a jw story, but I have a joke for you...

    There's this guy who likes hunting and once bear season opens, he grabs his shotgun and heads out. He walks up this steep hill and down into a quiet grove. Then, off in the distance, he sees a large, brown bear. He raises his shot guna and BAM, the bear falls down. The guy runs over to where the bear was, but the bear's gone. All of a sudden, the man feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and it's the large, brown bear with an angry look. The bear points at the man and says, "there's only two ways you're getting out of here. You're either getting out of here when I take a dump after I eat you or you can bend over that rock over there and let me have my way with you."

    The man is horrified. He doesn't want a bear making love to him, but he doesn't want to die either. So, he trudges over to the rock, drops his drawers, and bends over. The bear does his thing and the lets the man leave. But the man is mad -- very mad. He goes out and gets a bigger rifle and some hollow tip bullets and takes another hunting trip. He walks up that same steep hill and down into that same quiet grove. Then, off in the distance, he sees that same bear. He raises his new high-powered rifle to his shoulder and slams two or three bullets into the now fallen bear. The man runs over to where the bear fell, but the bear is gone. The man looks around and then he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and it's the bear. The bear says, "You know the deal, either bend over or I'm gonna eat you."

    The man drops his drawers and bends over again. This time, though he's furious. He's going to get this bear and get him good. He goes and buys a machine gun with a laser sight and telescoping lens. He gets a large 60 round clip and heads back over to that steep hill and on to the quiet grove. He waits for a bit and then, off in the distance, he once again sees that large, brown bear. He raises the machine gun to his shoulder, trains the laser sight on the bear through the telescope and lets the entire clip of sixty bullets fly. The bear looks like he's dancing as bullet after bullet pound into his furry hide until he falls down. The man tosses the gun aside and sprints to where he'd just seen the bear. But, as before, the bear is gone and as before, he feels a tap on his shoulder. The man turns around. Recognizing the man, the bear says, "You're not here for the hunting are you?"

  • pierogi
    pierogi

    Thanks exwitless

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    OK, how 'bout now? Anyone got any funny dub stories or WT parodies they'd like to share?

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Some short ones: "what is it that has a tie and a briefcase and runs at supersonic speed? It's a JW that just met a disfellowshipped ex member." "What is there in common between a JW and a UFO? Some people think that both "are not from this world"

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