This thread is hilarious. Oh the irony, and the predictability. MrMajestic nailed it.
I think it can be destructive when Reniaa derails valuable threads, especially those started by new people, but I also agree that she (perhaps unwittingly) serves a very valuable purpose here. Her words and positions and arguments illustrate more effectively than any "apostate" ever could how absurd the WTS stance really is. I would wager that her posts tilt many more lurkers out of the org than into it, so in that respect keep on doing what you do Reniaa ;-)
It would be nice to see it limited to appropriate threads though, this actually being one, so carry on lol.
nameless_one
JoinedPosts by nameless_one
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208
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions regarding "attention seekers"?
by BonaFide inwe all love it when people pay attention to us or our opinions.
but what i am talking about is people who crave and force attention from others.
not just people who talk a lot, but those that force everyone around them to focus on them and them only.. in one of my classes there is a woman who raises her hand to ask a question, but never really has a question to ask.
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nameless_one
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stepchildren!!!
by fern inok, i just have to vent for a minute!
i have known these two teenage girls for six years now and in that time they have wiped buggars on my furniture and walls, pooped their pants and continued to deny they had done it and refused to clean up and change their clothes.
they also routinely get poo and menstrual blood on the toilet seat and don't clean it up until i make them.
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nameless_one
Teenage girls who poop in their pants?? Also leave blood and poop on the toilet seat and wipe boogers on the walls and rarely shower? Yikes! I can't get past the pooping pants part, that seems very bizarre for girls that age. If nothing else, are they not getting some kind of pressure from their friends and peers that none of this is remotely okay? It's no surprise that they snub their noses at parents and step-parents at that age, but it seems like they'd also be getting some really negative reactions from their peers too, and most teens highly value the opinions of their peers (for better or for worse, alas). Teenage girls can definitely be moody brats and hard to deal with (I cringe at what I put my own parents through lol), but this sounds awful and really over the top.
I don't have any decent advice to offer, I mostly agree with what Hope said -- let it become their father's responsibility when they are visiting. His viewpoint might change drastically if he's the one who has to deal with it and clean up the messes (literal and figurative) and be the one who "manages" the girls when they're in your home. It's certainly much easier to turn a blind eye when it's someone else who shoulders the actual work and responsibility, but jeez these are his daughters and as a parent it is very much his responsibility to at a minimum teach them how to behave at a very basic level! The moodiness and brattiness are things you might be stuck with til they grow up some more, but the rest needs to be nipped in the bud now.
I feel for you, and for the girls too -- you're right that much of this is just basic expectations of any grown human being, and they've been done no favors by the adults in their lives acting as if all of this is okay. It sounds like they have never been taught some very essential aspects of hygiene and just general behavior, and for girls much of that should come from a responsible female adult (way before they're teenagers!) -- but if their mom has dropped the ball all these years, and their relationship with you is confrontational, I'm not sure where they could get that kind of female guidance. It could come from you if your husband would back you up and get on board, but it sounds like that's not happening at all (yet). I hope things improve for all of you, somehow. Best wishes. -
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df'd and assemblies.
by ptrehearn152 inhi newbie here, i have a question that is begining to bug me a little.
i am not a jw or ever will be but my partner was some years ago and quite devout about the religeon then she was df'd for commiting adultry with another man (not me) who was not a jw, she got divored from her jw husband and left behind her 2 boys and went to live with 'the other man', anyway over the years her relationship with her 2 boys began to grow again and now she see's them once every 2 weeks, i should perhaps point out that her ex is a devout jw, she has told me that she would like to at some point go back to the 'hall' and carry on her religeon, i said that i dont have a problem with that but, i wasn't keen on the idea of her walking the streets knocking on doors due to the amount of hatred that some poeple clearly have for jw's and the fact that we now seem to live in a violent world, yes i know that jw's have to do so much 'service work', she has told me that she has not visited a hall since her df so therefore has not repented her sins as it were but on sunday she said that there was an assembly in our local vicinity (it's the annual one) and she would like to go.
i found this a bit odd that someone who had been df'd would be allowed to go to the jw's event of the year so began to wonder if whilst visiting her sons she maybe did visit the hall to somehow show repent with a view to be allowed back into the faith.
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nameless_one
Reniaa, are you really telling this poster that if his wife goes back to the org and he remains a non-JW, that it's nothing for him to worry about? Shame on you, that is simply not true and you know it.
ptrehearn152, please read as much on this board and other resources as you can, beyond this one thread. If your wife decides to go back and try to get reinstated, you are in for a world of hurt. I am an UBM (unvelieving mate) and would not wish that on anyone. This is not a "normal religion," it is a CULT, and if you truly understood the implications I seriously doubt you would have "no problem" with the possibility of her returning.
You said that you "strongly believe that everyone in this world has the absolute right to free speech and the freedom of reasonable arguement and to choose what we believe in and how we do it" -- well unfortunately the WTS doesn't believe that AT ALL. You will not receive the same respect and tolerance in return, and that is putting it mildly.
Please please please research what all of this is really about and what it will mean to your actual life and relationship. You are in for a very bumpy ride :-(
An excellent factual resource: www.jwfacts.com. Good luck to you, I suspect you're going to need it. -
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Some help please- advice
by leftbelow ini have a problem.
i knew this would come up but what has me questioning myself is where some of my resistance is coming from.. my wife and i have a baby on the way in nov. (a little girl) anyway my mom immediately started applying pressure to me to go back to meeting and of course to attend the convention.
that is not the surprise.
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nameless_one
No no no no NO!!! Leftbelow, your instincts are right on target here, please listen to them and heed what your gut is telling you.
I saw your other thread about you and your wife being blessed with this new baby daughter, and the troubles you'd experienced and how you feared there would never be a child. When she pops into the world, you are going to be overwhelmed with an even greater whoosh of unconditional love and the instinct to protect her at all costs. Protecting her starts now, before she even "arrives"!
You know that JWs will beg an inch for the purpose of seizing a mile. Your mother is testing the boundaries now, and the way you and your wife respond now will set the tone going forward. Save yourself and your family from an ongoing tug-of-war by slamming your foot down now! Your daughter must be protected from day one. I understand that you love your mom but you cannot allow this cult to touch your child in any way. Draw the boundaries NOW, before your baby girl arrives. If grandma knows without a doubt that it's a big NO, with no wiggle room and no "well okay maybe this once to keep the peace" etc etc, if she knows all of that full-stop from the very beginning, it will be best for everyone and you won't be fighting against "but but but just this one little thing" constantly.
I echo Carla's concerns about your MIL (and wife) thinking it's okay to "appease" grandma and "keep the peace" and pretend you're okay with the WTS to "fool" her. All of that will bite you in the ass big-time, and worse it will bite your child in the ass. MIL and wife need to wake up to what's at stake here and get on board fast. Letting this cult come into your child's life and brain "just a little bit" is not okay! Your instincts are awake and correct and spot-on -- listen to them, and don't let anyone sway you from it -- do whatever you can to create a united front against this very dangerous notion of "appeasement." Your mother's misguided wishes do not trump the well-being of your child.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's a bit of a sore spot for me and I'm sorry if I came on too strong. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, and I commend you for the stance you're taking. You mentioned above that you are breaking the chain -- that is the very best gift you could ever give to your child. And making sure she doesn't ever have to experience it to even know that a chain was broken, well even better.
Best wishes for you and your family, you are in my thoughts. -
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I was locked out of my dad's house AGAIN tonight!
by Melody Blankenship intonight, monday, november 10, 2008, i went out to see my dad ([name and city edited for privacy reasons]) about 7:15 p.m. i saw his wife standing at the kitchen sink when i pulled in, and i pulled around back as i always do.
by the time i got out of my car, she had turned the lights off in the kitchen and went into my dad's bedroom.
i rang and rang the doorbell but she (rose ann andris powell) would not come unlock the door.
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nameless_one
This sounds like a dire and terrible situation, I'm sorry you (and your father) are going through this. If APS isn't being any help, can you do as another poster suggested and call your local Sheriff's office to request a welfare check? A uniformed police check could move things faster than waiting on APS (it sounds like you've tried APS before and encountered red tape and slowness?). Also, since your dad was hospitalized just within the past week, and apparently his doctor was made aware of some of his wife's weird behavior even then (?), can you go to the doctor and tell him what's happening and maybe get some intervention that way?
If this woman is starving him and isolating him from help and family, that qualifies as elder abuse. APS is supposed to help in a situation like this obviously, but if that's not happening maybe getting the police and/or his doctor involved could get things moving more quickly to get some help for your dad.
I'm sorry this is happening, my thoughts are with you.
***Edited, after reading more carefully. -
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Do Jehovah's Witnesses Break Up Marriages? WT 11/01/08 pgs 11-12
by insearchoftruth indo jehovah's witnesses break up marriages?.
"if one partner chnages his or her religion, the marriage will break up.
" so goes the claim of many people.
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nameless_one
Ummm... thank you Thomas Poole for that relevant and enlightening story
quite a different spin in the kool aid article to be studied in November from the September 15, 2008 private edition...
Does anyone have a scan of this?
And sorry Oompa for kicking you off the last-reply LOL, feel free to post again right behind me! -
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Do Jehovah's Witnesses Break Up Marriages? WT 11/01/08 pgs 11-12
by insearchoftruth indo jehovah's witnesses break up marriages?.
"if one partner chnages his or her religion, the marriage will break up.
" so goes the claim of many people.
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nameless_one
What a steaming pile of crap.
I notice they don't even touch the opposite scenario - JW man, non-JW woman. My JW wouldn't dare show me such a load of garbage as this. It looks to me like it's meant to soothe non-JW men who are losing their wives to the WTS by telling them hey don't complain and don't worry about it, because you'll get a submissive wife out of the deal. *barf* indeed -
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Is it rude to not include "Gifts are not necessary" on a b-day invitation?
by White Dove inis it necessary to include it in order to not be thought of as tacky?
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nameless_one
Actually it can be argued that it's tacky TO include it, because the implication is that gifts were forthcoming and expected otherwise and that IS tacky. An invitation is a request for someone's presence and shouldn't include assumptions/instructions about gifts at all. Further, if some guests disregard and bring a gift anyway, then you've a situation where those who did follow the "directive" could feel embarrassed.
The worst violation of etiquette is to use etiquette as a weapon to make others feel uncomfortable or inadequate. Your friend has perhaps violated that cardinal rule :-) If it were me, I wouldn't include the line. -
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Successful JW/Non-JW Relationships... How do you make it work?
by cognac ini was thinking we could talk about what works for couples who have good jw/non-jw relationships.
maybe we could get ideas from eachother to help improve ourselves and our relationships!.
i'll start.
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nameless_one
For me I keep a clean home, worked outside the home for 20 years, did all the things I thought we correct. My husband told me on our 42nd anniversay that we live in a divided home and the bible says that if we cannot live in peace to seperate. We never go out together he is just too busy with meetings and even does more at the hall since his retirement. I will be leaving the home sometime in March or April as soon as I get my Social Security as I am not allowed to even know what we have in the bank. No funds available for me. His only love is his god, the organization and his father, brother, sister and his two children. We don't even talk since his comment on our anniversay, and that was in August.
tiffy0212, you need a lawyer, if you don't already have one. If your husband means to separate from you and divorce, you absolutely ARE allowed to know what you have in the bank, and you also can't be made to leave your home with no support and no knowledge of or access to your joint assets. Please talk to an attorney; from your brief description here, it sounds like you are on the verge of getting screwed badly.
As for how UBMs can make a relationship work with a believing JW -- it can be done, but at a cost. In my own situation (I am the UBM), I've done and continue to do all of the things Cognac listed in the original post, and they're good suggestions. But it is EXHAUSTING and also comes at a great price (crazy, meddling JW family; fear of having children; constant tension about the billion triggers that JWism plants in people's minds that can burst out at any time; on and on).
Sorry if that all sounds incredibly negative. I do think such relationships can be made to work, but there are tons of problems. I have been dealing with this crap for five years now and am exhausted. Anyone thinking about entering into such a relationship should run away fast IMHO. Those already in know how hard it can be. It can work, but yeah at a cost, likely a huge one. My two cents. -
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Senior Citizens......How does your congregation treat them?
by crazyblondeb innot as good as they use too... but then again they are following the lead of the wts.
why bother with fellowship when you can plug everyone into the telephone.. one one hand they are pushing fs, on the other they are making so many changes that several of the elderly are getting depressed, especially ever since the may 1, 2007 qfr.
with the afternoon bs soon yanked, many not allowed to drive at night, and elderships that don't care enough to orchestrate carpools....it is bad..
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nameless_one
How about taking out your checkbook and paying a handyman to take a look around, rather than expect someone else to do it for free?
What a cold and nasty reply. Did you even read the original and follow-up posts? This woman has given her whole life to the WTS, sacrificed her family basically, and won't listen to her own daughters when it comes to the state of her home. What she needs is for a couple of brothers to get off their sorry butts and pay a visit, take a look, perhaps show a tiny bit of care or concern for her well-being so as to give her some peace of mind. They're the most loving people on earth, right? They look after their own, right? Yeah, that's why this thread (and this board) are full of story after story about the "loving kindness amongst Jehovah's people" translating into "we'll suck you dry and then kick you to the curb." Nice. I don't even know you lola, but I found your reply arrogant and cold and offensive.
CBB, I am sorry this is happening to your family. Good luck getting anyone in the borg to give a crap, but maybe they can at least be shamed into pretending they do. Freakin cult.