Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions regarding "attention seekers"?

by BonaFide 208 Replies latest jw friends

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    We all love it when people pay attention to us or our opinions. But what I am talking about is people who CRAVE and FORCE ATTENTION from others. Not just people who talk a lot, but those that FORCE EVERYONE AROUND THEM TO FOCUS ON THEM AND THEM ONLY.

    In one of my classes there is a woman who raises her hand to ask a question, but never really has a question to ask. She talks in this special voice of importance, stumbles around, and when the instructor tries to pin down the question, she says, "no that's not what I mean." She always has terrible accidents, stories of people taking advantage of her, people treating her bad. If it's not about her, she will try to make it about her.

    In my opinion, there is someone on this board that hijacks threads, makes accusatory comments, and says crazy things. In fact, that persons only real motive seems to be to get attention, because nothing with that person is ever resolved. Many on this board fall for it and actually address her comments. You can tell by reading a few threads that she skillfully avoids answering questions, and is good at "baiting" the board to rile people up.

    At a shoe store a few weeks ago, a woman overheard me talking to my friend about good work shoes. She offered a suggestion as to where we could purchase a good pair. We tried to be nice, and thanked her. But no way would she let us go. She said, "I just want to tell you one more thing..." and then would keep going. It was almost like she WANTED us to be rude to her. I gave her 5 minutes, and then I said, "Well, I have to go, thank you for the chat" and I walked away. She followed us all the way to the door of the store trying to tell us "one more thing" and even followed us outside towards our car, but we just kept walking.

    So, my way is usually to give the person the benefit of the doubt at first. I talk a lot myself anyway, so I try to be cool. But when it becomes obvious that their motive is only to take up others' time, then I give them a minute or two, and then I say thanks and walk away no matter if they keep talking. If someone phones me like that, I talk for a couple of minutes, then I say goodbye and hang up.

    I have seen these kinds of people both in and out of the Organization.

    What is your experience? Do you know people like that? Any success on helping people like that? Or do you just cut them off and say bye?

    BF

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    This is about me isn't it, BF.

    And I'm a HE, not a SHE, okay.

    If anyone is looking for me, I'll be in my room bawling my eyeballs out .

    B the X

  • cognac
    cognac

    I hope you learned your lesson Billy...

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    By the way, my therapist says I'm an "attention whore" not an "attention seeker"!

    So there.

    The best way to get rid of someone like me, in person at least, is to learn the fine art of F.O.C.

    Fart On Command

    Unfortunately you'll need to learn how to E.Y.O.S.

    Endure Your Own Stench

    Great, now you've tricked me into giving up my secrets

  • cognac
    cognac

    That's nothing! I can just pass my baby over to you and she will throw up all over you! She's really good at that!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Dang it Cog! Now I got baby puke all over me! This is NOT the sort of attention I was craving!

    Ugh, I'm so outta here...

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    having survived parenting an
    adolescent with multiple mental
    health diagnosis, that attention
    seeking behaviour strongly suggests
    something along the lines of narcissistic
    or histrionic personality disorder...

    i dont know what you can do about
    the academic environment, but in
    personal relationships, or even casual
    encounters, keeping an inviolable boundary
    is essential to stop the unrelenting
    encroachment into your life and sensibilities....

    like you said, you almost have to be rude,
    by being absolutely insistent that your business
    has been concluded, but trust me... you have to
    be direct and as equally insistent to keep from
    getting bulldozed....

    and for the record, i dont think anyone with
    these issues is happy with it or about it, but
    unless they are in some kind of redirective
    therapy, there is little they can do to control
    their inclinations to be so infernally manipulative
    and unbearably intrusive

  • cognac
    cognac

    Billy - that's what you get!

  • cognac
    cognac

    Billy - that's what you get!

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    Chickpea, very interesting points. Thank you, I will do more research on those personality disorders. Funny how I used to just think some people are weird, seems like everything has a diagnosis now.

    BF

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