Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

freemindfade

Basically the tools used to keep anyone in (regardless of gender) work the same way for both. The question from OP we don't know the answer for sure. And each person will have their own experience in escaping the same cult system.

My own person case and I won't comment outside that. Just for me and my wife. When it comes to questionig this religion it gets an emotional response from men and women but from her she's cries and gets extremely angry and returns to same emotionally based reasons for faith.

Religion is an emotional thing so anyone (of either gender) with stronger reaction to emotional triggers of learning TTATT will react the same. Those willing to detach will take those steps.

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

freemindfade

Don't fall into the straw man fallacy and say OneEyedJoe is trying to devalue women because I don't believe either of us were saying that at all. There is science behind women and mens processing of emotion.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2919083/Male-female-brains-really-wired-differently-Study-finds-women-far-affected-emotional-images.html

Don't make it a case of devaluing one gender.

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

freemindfade

I cannot believe men are still churning out the bullshit about they are more rational and women are more emotional.

I gotta back OneEyedJoe here, its not a effort to say men and when are not equal, but that we are definitely wired differently, if you work in any kind of advertising or anything that deals with tapping into psychology that is undeniable. No one is saying one is better than the other, and I know men that are super emotional and women who are the opposite and everything in between, but as a large group you can't deny we are just not the same.

We should not fall into the bias of saying that "men and women are exactly the same" because biologically we just aren't. Again not a question of one being better than the other or not equal .

Also the thing that may keep men in may actually be different than women all together. Men may feel insecure abut their masculinity by the way they are treated. If you aren't an elder are you a man? So a lot of insecure men, or ones who haven't outgrown that and feel they must prove something this becomes their F.O.G.

25

Cheers to all! I'm in the house now! Finally signed up.

by Lifeisfun in

hi readers and lurkers, .

i decided it was time to register to the site.

after all these years, it was just a matter of time.

freemindfade

Welcome, if you have some anxiety throw my a PM I may have some similar experiences and things that helped me cope.

5

Be Happy You Have Traded Belief for Knowledge

by freemindfade in

a man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.. mark twaineveryone have a good weekend, and feel the peace and happiness of being "awake".

freemindfade

“A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.”

― Mark Twain

Everyone have a good weekend, and feel the peace and happiness of being "awake"

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

freemindfade

OneEyedJoe said it very well. I have always been the social force in my marriage, but I feel i rely on feeling the warmth of the congo much less than the wife. I have much closer, sincere friends outside that I don't have to hold to as high a idea of perfection.

In our halls I always reached out to make friends that we still area very close with to this day, moving to new hall in new state, in faded status, I go to the meetings but feel no desire to make this my friends and family, I am nice but don't do my usual thing. So we have no friends lol. The wife has the usual pioneer older/middle aged sister friends, but their friendships are just around that, field service.

Anyway, well said OneEyedJoe

74

Who leaves first, the husband or wife?

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

when it comes to a simple matter of no longer believing the teachings of jw's, it appears to me that it's more common for the husband to make the first move to leave the religion.

freemindfade

Religion is an emotional institution.

That being said, men despite some beliefs are subject to emotion and women can be very rational. But in general I hope I am not putting my foot in my mouth here, but hopefully we can say that women generally speaking are more emotional than men. For instance, with me and my wife, she gets extremely emotional whenever she thinks about here deceased grandfather and father, and relates this single issue to the strength of her faith. She has to believe she can see them again. I don't consider myself devoid of emotion, but tend to desire to separate emotion from rationality. And not to say I have always been this way, but it can be learned.

Religion and JW's especially exploit EMOTION. Fear, anger, sadness. Sit down at any meeting and the talk starts off with how bad life is and how miserable we all are, plays on our sadness over loss, disappointment with "bad" people, uses guilt to control. At its core its emotion driven, not reason like JW's think they are. I even used to tell people when defending my faith, that witnesses are different because its rational, how freaking embarrassing I ever said such a thing.

So I guess what I am getting at is there may (i don't know one way or the other), may be more men, simply for the emotional nature of religion.

33

Jaw Bone of the First Man in Ethiopia Lived.... When?

by Slidin Fast in

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-31718336.

so this jaw bone of early man has been dated at 2.8 million years old.

that means that given a margin for error and allowing an unknown but short period of time for adam naming the animals the 1000 years starts in ummm, eerrr.

freemindfade

Finkelstein

is that Theresa giudice?

29

Fading and not "outing" yourself, what are your thoughts on it?

by Brock Talon in

fading and not "outing" yourself.. what are your thoughts on it?.

i ask, because i just received a scathing personal message on facebook from a person who read my latest book and in it i describe myself as a fader.

i was not dfd and i did not da myself.

freemindfade

As much as you can. Never play to their rules. You want to f@$%k them. Do it on your terms.

12

God was the cause of the evil

by opusdei1972 in

bart ehrman noticed, in his book "god's problem", the fact that god was responsible for job's pain.

to show it, bart quoted the following verse:.

and they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the lord had brought upon him.

freemindfade

tried to show my family a little and they blasted me. I told my uncle if you had no religion and knowledge of it to begin with , and a bible just fell out of the sky, and you read it in all its original languages, you would see zero harmony and tons of contradiction that men have massaged for out for thousands of years. Sorry witnesses, YHWH and Jesus just don't pan out.

freemindfade

Posts by freemindfade

“A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.”