My primary goal whilst on the platform, regardless of the drudgery... was to quietly fart just as I'd finished... just so I could enjoy watching the next speaker suffer - If it was someone I particularly disliked, I'd ensure I ate lots of cabbage for dinner before the meeting.
M*A*S*H
JoinedPosts by M*A*S*H
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21
JWs are gossip mongers
by unbrainwashed inonce i left the jw social scene and started hanging out with "worldly" people a lot more, i realized that these "worldly" people don't gossip nearly as much as the witnesses.. i didn't realize it at the time but now i can see how much of a gossip-based social structure it all was.
jws absolutely thrive on gossip.
has anyone else noticed this?
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84
Weird crop circle sighting...
by troubled mind inmy husbands cousin lives in a small rural area in illinois and over the weekend crop circles appeared in their soybean crop .
i just talked to his cousin , and she is beside herself from all the publicity .
she said the phone started ringing at 6am this morning .
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M*A*S*H
Oh guys... I think I had them convinced it was people with a plank! Then you go and spoil it all with that, clear pictures of Alien Crop Circles. Damn and Blast.
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84
Weird crop circle sighting...
by troubled mind inmy husbands cousin lives in a small rural area in illinois and over the weekend crop circles appeared in their soybean crop .
i just talked to his cousin , and she is beside herself from all the publicity .
she said the phone started ringing at 6am this morning .
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M*A*S*H
OMG... Come on... Why is it so hard to believe? We all like doodling complex patterns with a pen and paper. If you found a complicated doodle on a pad somewhere, you would go "Oh wow, what an amazing natural phenonomomnonon" (that's a big word).
The very complexity of the patterns should tell you that they are created by very clever talented pranksters! The ones you should be excited about are the boring rough hewn crappy ones, they at a stretch might have some natural explanation. The fact is, nowadays, the pranksters have to create bigger and better patterns, otherwise nowone will care about their little creation.
What's all this about 'no clues' or being observed. They often leave clues... big clues... they're often even caught and prosecuted! But I suppose a believer would just ignore that fact, saying "the rest are true CC" because no one was caught doing those?
"Perfect designs"??? What's perfect about them? They quite simply are not perfect, in any way... how can they be... the medium is bent over grass? How can it been 'Perfect'? I mean, if in a crop cirle - every piece of grass bent at precisely say 10mm from a preset above sea level point; etc... perhaps you could call that perfection?
It's people with rope and plank... -
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M*A*S*H
You Are 86% Evil Clearly some people have been fibbing on the test... THAT'S PRETTY DAMNED EVIL.
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No Trespassing!! Breaking news for local JW's.
by Mulan inthis week at the book study, at all congregations in the u.s., a letter was read saying if you go to a house or property with a "no trespassing" sign, you must not enter, or knock on the door.
you have to leave immediately.
a sign saying "no solicitors" is too ambiguous, and they are to use their own judgment, and don't have to knock.
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M*A*S*H
I wonder how many calls you'd get if you had a
"Potential Jehovah's Witness Within" Sign?
"Jehovah's Witnesses do it... on the platform", "In Suits", "on doorsteps" blah blah...
It's late.. I'm just posting to pass the time... -
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JWs are gossip mongers
by unbrainwashed inonce i left the jw social scene and started hanging out with "worldly" people a lot more, i realized that these "worldly" people don't gossip nearly as much as the witnesses.. i didn't realize it at the time but now i can see how much of a gossip-based social structure it all was.
jws absolutely thrive on gossip.
has anyone else noticed this?
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M*A*S*H
Shhh... Don't tell anyone... but I heard xjwms used to give "talks"
I think he worships snakes or something. -
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How do you answer this question??
by LuciousJ inok, i'm now da'd as many of you already know.
it's so fresh that my stomach turns everytime the subject comes up about religion.
however, something that does puzzle me a bit.......is how do you answer people when they ask you the question "what religion are you?
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M*A*S*H
I think it's a good question.
Usually I would try to figure out why that person is asking me. Perhaps think back to any previous conversations I may have had with that person about religion or similar. I like to build up a mental image in my mind of 'who they are', their motivations possible religious affiliations, their upbringing. Once all that is carefully weighed up, as it is important, I'd probably...
1. Start attempting to bite my right shoulder
2. Develop a repetitive violent twitching in my left arm (the more violent the better)
3. Try to achieve a good foot long line of dribble
4. Perhaps try to eat something inappropriate... a cup or passerby for example.
5. Bark like a dog briefly
6. Then say "I'm *SPIT SPIT* a Jehovah's *HOWL FART (if possible)* Witness"
7. Perhaps followed by "Would you like a Bible *BIG VIOLENT TWITCH* study? *PLACE HAND ON THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD PULL THE SKIN UP ON YOUR FORHEAD UNTIL YOU LOOK REALLY SUPRISED*"
8. Jump around the person doing you're best impression of a kangaroo
9. Pretend I Spiderman and run up a nearby wall
If they're still hanging about...
10. Walk up to them with your best mincing walk... and say "You?"
11. *MAKE VARIOUS INAPPROPRIATE TONGUE JESTURES AS THEY ANSWER* -
1380
The Gentiles Times Reconsidered--Again but this Time By Using the Bible
by thirdwitness inthink about this: if seven times mean only 7 years then daniel could have simply said 7 years.
why does daniel specifically use the word 'times' rather than years?
as we have already shown daniel used the word for 7 times instead of 7 years.
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M*A*S*H
Phew! What's that smell? Did someone fart in this thread? Oh yes, yes they did... I recognise the stench of 607 anywhere.
Did you know, my bottom has a theory about 607 too... fortunately I'm not actually going to post it. IT ALL BEEN SAID A MILLION TIMES BEFORE ON THIS FORUM.
PS. I've changed my mind... here's my theory on the 'TIMES'...
[Stratch Here] --- It's stratch and sniff. -
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Going to NYC Tomorrow - Any Suggestions What to See, Hear, Eat - Cheap?
by Seeker4 inlori and i are headed to nyc tomorrow, and we'll be there 'til thursday.
we'll also have limited funds (ie: don't suggest a broadway show!
any specific suggestions on good, inexpensive things to do, places to see, music, art, food?
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M*A*S*H
I suggest you find the local kingdom hall... they're free to get in. The seats aren't very comfy. The show sucks too. The company is bad. But... it is free.
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Weird crop circle sighting...
by troubled mind inmy husbands cousin lives in a small rural area in illinois and over the weekend crop circles appeared in their soybean crop .
i just talked to his cousin , and she is beside herself from all the publicity .
she said the phone started ringing at 6am this morning .
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M*A*S*H
Well you kinda answered you're own question there... it rained... any prints that they may have accidentally left may have been washed away. Other than that, it's standard practice to run down the farmer's tractor lines then do a little jump. If you look at photos of CC, you'll usually see they normally intersect a tractor line. Sometimes though if they crop isn't tightly packed they could just 'be careful'.
O O O O O O Gah! Text circles!