freemindfade:
Appreciate your story. It is interesting what makes a person wake up. That is why it is so hard to wake up someone else. I remember telling a friend all the cover ups and deceptions of the Watchtower. But the next day he is still calling it "the truth". I think what you are saying is that while a specific thing may be the straw that breaks the camels back, it is actually a process. As I reflected on your story, I think about what really lead to my climax. The bottom line was that I was truly tired. I was removed as an elder unjustly because I was a bad father simply because I did not study a book with my kids. I was fine with that. I realised how free I would be now. I was so tired of battling jealous elders about everything. I was so tired of watching other "happy" witnesses do nothing in the congregation, while I was working like a dog. I moved to sign language, and was so tired of seeing 22 pioneers out of 40 publishers not going out in service. I was tired of watching people wear their responsibilities like military stripes . Yes, I was just physically tired. After serving for nearly 25 years in the congregation, I now seen things through the eyes of an average publisher. I seen more hypocrisy. I now knew what it felt like to not be appreciated and be "just a publisher" who had to prove their value. Counting time, pioneering, started to really irritate me, since I knew that it was simply a self elevating thing that you can be judged by. Yes, when you start to reflect on things, you can see that a lot more was going through your mind than you thought. All you needed was that green light and then you got the heck out of there!