Gbl,
Hang in there bud and try to be there for your mum as much as you can over the next while. There will be other future opportunities to be "honest", just "go with the flow" for now as much as you can.
W.
Whiskeyjack
JoinedPosts by Whiskeyjack
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32
sad topic: my nan is dying.
by GetBusyLiving inhi, not my usual fluff topic today.
i just thought i would post this on here because i've found you guys to be really great to talk to over the past few months.
i hope some of you have time to read it.
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77
You don't have to read this... Feedback Wanted
by Sparkplug inwhen i die may i please have chocolate cake?.
chapter 1. my birth.
i have always thought of my life like that.
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Whiskeyjack
Sparkplug,
Sorry for the late reply. I would agree with ZN's advice. As you work out the rough chapters you may move things around and so forth. As for structure say...You could relate "6" or "7" experiences in order of "magnitude" in diffrerent significant periods ini your life so far - Or... You could relate the experiences as you go through life chronologically (little sevens/big sixes then big seven/little six, etc...) as you grew from childhood. You could move back and forth in different points in your life (but you'll need to take extra care to not "lose" the reader). There are lots of ways to go but get out as much of your story as you can while and worry about organization later!
A lot depends on what you decide your main observation or message is. (You may not have it fully formed in your mind yet but it will take shape as you complete the work). Keep writing the new material first though! Then you can come back after a break to review your total collection of chapters with various editing "hats" (grammar, flow, distribution/level of humour,inclusiveness/accuracy. revise here/revise there, etc...). This story is about your life so it won't be "finished quickly" so don't rush it too much.
W.
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77
You don't have to read this... Feedback Wanted
by Sparkplug inwhen i die may i please have chocolate cake?.
chapter 1. my birth.
i have always thought of my life like that.
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Whiskeyjack
Sparkplug,
A riveting story so far (loved Satan's little minions)!
As far as feedback on writing style, I'd point out a couple of things for your future editing. The first would be to be careful writiing in a narrative style in regards to how many observations you "hit" the reader with (people on the board will quickly understand most of the JW jokes/comments but other readers would need a bit more background) that need to be more "fleshed out". I'm a northerner myself need little more description on the region and people.
The other thing would be to review the extent that each chapter developes the main charatcer's arc (in this case you!). In reading the chapters, I found it hard to get a sense of chronological progression (a few more facts for us to build a better "sense of time" to place the events). As you edit the chapters you've shared with us tonight, I'd recommend you try to double them in length but not add any new material as much as "tying" the events together.
I Don't recall reading any of your postings but if you're willing to post another draft I will definitely read it!. Have you been writing long?
W. (If this is as clear as mud, let me know and I'll try to re-phrase)
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41
I've avoided the elders so far...but could this all change on SATURDAY?
by logansrun inwell, it has been almost three years since i silently and dramatically vanished from the world of the watchtower.
moving an hour away from my congregation's territory and not answering phone calls was all i needed to avoid having to wear the letter "a" on my chest.
but, that could all change this saturday.
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Whiskeyjack
Just hang otu with the kids. Their conversation will probably be more interesting anyways!
W.
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27
Commenting
by DocHayes inwhat type of commenter where you?.
where you the one who answered the question word, for word from the paragraph?.
where you the little kiss @$$ who would more or less read the answer verbatum, but would also tie in a scripture?.
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Whiskeyjack
I was a little smart ass who was famed for my long-winded comments especially at the book study meetings.
I remember when our conductor pissed off me and my roomate (another adolescent JW) that week so we decided to boycott commenting at his next study. Even though we were out boozing most nights (as young fellows will at that age) we still provided the majority of the "hard" questions' comments since there was a lot of deadwood in our assigned group.
The study took almost two hours while we stood there not saying a word until they made it through the material. The elder changed his tune the following week!
W.
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28
My DA letter!
by Spook inthe moment arrived.
i have sent out my first three letters: one to the local congregation, one to the governing body (right, right, like i'll get a reply?
), and one to my family.
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Whiskeyjack
Not too bad at all! I fear they'll miss the "point" but I liked the appeal to their sense of collective shame. Hopefully it might make a small impact on at least one of your old cong.'s BOE members.
Kudos!
W.
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Whiskeyjack
JB,
It wasn't so much reading the bible more thoroughly (as a kid, I liked reading thru the "action packed" early Jewish books!) as much as it was my reading of anthropology and sociology (as I slowly got my worldy education) that led me to re-evaluate my old acceptance of the bible as God's "inspired" word.
W.
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Conscientious Objection Issue to Resurface 99% of inmates are JWs-Korea
by Dogpatch inconscientious objection issue to resurface 99% of inmates are jw's
`conscientious objection' issue to resurface
korea times, south korea - 1 hour ago .
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Whiskeyjack
Thx for the article!
This promises to be a touchy subject with the Korean government given the desired American Army reductions in the South Korean Peninsula.
W.
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is America No. 1?
by Pleasuredome inthis is an interesting article i found.
i guess if you were to ask anyone on a street anywhere in the world what they think is the leading developed country in the world, they'd probably say the us.
so with that in mind, here's some interesting statistics.... .
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Whiskeyjack
The U.S. does seem to be declining in many critical areas while Europe has been forced to start addressing them (advanced education, environmental policy, power generation, urban policy, etc...).
The unprecedented growthof the American republic is very unique and largely due to the one-time opportunity for unbridled continental rapine. Expansive economics certainly "worked" (if you forget about the aboriginals and other players forced out over the last 500 years) giving rise to the current level of national faith in "free" capitalism. It's evident (to me) that this "free for all" period is over, the resources are getting scarcer, arable land is shrinking and industrial farming techiques are exibihiting huge hidden costs, the manufacturing base is shrinking, etc...). American workers are now being squeezed as a result (hey, profits gotta come from somewhere!)
At the turn of the previous century, most Britons didn't want to hear those economists and observers who were trying to warn them of Britain's economic decline. China is benefitting from a long-term plan of strategic economic development by dangling market access and will surpass the U.S. economy this century. How they do "societally" remains to be seen (development of intellectual and creative communities, etc...).
This is just the natural state of things though. All societies decline.
W.
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18
Battle Star Galatica
by zev inthe season finali (sp?
) of one of the greatest shows ever to hit the tv.
and i don't say that lightly.
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Whiskeyjack
For Space Opera, its the best thing on the tube right now. Up in Canada we're just getting the first season now (still waiting for some good violence!). Some little annoyances but not bad overall.
W