just a quick pole - who gives you the biggest laugh on this board - you have only two choices brownnose brownboy or scholar?
I vote for scholar because he seems to be less scary than Brownboy. Some dark stormy nights I have to remind myself that Brownboy will not be arriving at my house to share his visions with me - whether I want them or not. Somehow, Scholar seems infinitely more harmless - and for that reason alone, he's tops in my book.
Steve2
Clinical Psychologist
PhD, Dip Clin Psych, MA, BA
not a new light, just a positive light.. sometimes on here i worry that all jws are painted with a bad brush when i know that not to be the case.
today i was looking after a jw patient on the ward and she was the most wonderful old girl you could meet, she really made me smile, and she was bright as a button.
later her family came in, who i didn't recognise and they were just as pleasent.
Hey Scoob,
I always appreciate anything that helps me take a good look at myself. Yes, there's a human tendency sometimes to see all the bad and not the good. It's such a human tendency that it even characterises our respective backgrounds as JWs: A recurring theme - I know you don't need to be told this - is the JW tendency to have a bias for seeing the "bad" in non-witnesses and being very selective with attending to their own foibles. I think of the very good friends I had in the local kingdom hall and how much I miss them. They are wonderful people. It saddens me that our paths have separated and I wish that it were otherwise. I will never forget their kindness and love - they stood out as exceptional human beings, even though, sadly, they were in the minority.
i just had an interesting experience today.
i ran into an old ex-friend that had just been released from prison.
he was sentenced for selling pot to the highschool girls he coached for soccer and for sleeping with underage girls.
Here is some background information that is relevant to convicted sex offendersd:
The treatment outcome literature in New Zealand and Canada shows that sex offenders who attend relapse prevention treatment units during their prison sentence have a significantly reduced likelihood of reoffending. Did the man participate in any sex treatment programmes in prison?
Although I would also have strong reservations about any child sex offender who has served his sentence having unsupervised access to children, it is important to note that at least in this case, the JW elders would know about his offending. I am more concerned about sex offenders who "slip into" religious groups who know nothing of the offenders backgrounds. In New Zealand, sex offenders are released from prison with strict conditions on their freedom of movement (i.e., no unsupervised access to minors, neighbours notified, not to live within a specified distance from schools or public parks etc). This is "policed" by Probation Officers.
i noticed after being a jw for a while that many members of my congregation were having to take antedepressants.
(i counted at least 30 out of 100).
after a few years i too began to have bouts of depression and problems with anxiety.
Hey Lilybird, I felt such sadness when I read your post. People with mental health problems so often respond well to love and understanding. You were there for your mother and did your best. Doesn't it show how the JW elders are often completely out of their depth when it comes to dealing with the complexities of human behaviour? It says a lot for you that you were able to suggest a course of tolerance and understanding for your mother and that the elders did not disfellowship her. Yes, I expect that they would consider the problem now solved. What an absolute shame that they were unable to be more available to help her! My thoughts are with you.
this might seem like a funny question to ask but my mom told me that "apostates" are addicted to jw-bashing and cannot let it go and have a life.
i asked her what she meant by this statement and she told me that all ex-jw's talk about is the wts and jw's and negative things about the jw's.
she said that we get up thinking about jw-bashing and go to sleep thinking about jw-bashing just like a drug addict.
- To engage in harsh, accusatory, threatening criticism.
One, you are absolutely correct! Using this definition, glance through the Watchtower magazine and see if you can find any non-bashing statements about "apostates".
this might seem like a funny question to ask but my mom told me that "apostates" are addicted to jw-bashing and cannot let it go and have a life.
i asked her what she meant by this statement and she told me that all ex-jw's talk about is the wts and jw's and negative things about the jw's.
she said that we get up thinking about jw-bashing and go to sleep thinking about jw-bashing just like a drug addict.
We dont have to exactly know the "reasons", the point is the person is not balanced. AND whatever created the hurting situation, surely in MOST cases the indiviudal was part of the problem not just merely a powerless victim. Been there done that, more than once
I have problems with this point of view because it assumes that the individual - "in MOST cases" to quote - was part of the problem not just a powerless victim. Who are you speaking for? Children raised in the religion who were born into an environment that rewards conformity and punishes self-initiative? And when you say the person is not balanced, who legitimised that imbalance in the first place? People in positions of power over the individual!
Even if a person has in some way contributed to the problem - and I concede you may have a really good point there - does that mean the individual cannot attempt to bring some balance back into his or her life by speaking out against the religious practices that increase the person's vulnerability to traumatic stress? Like you, I too have been there, done that!
Regarding my comment about some ex-JWs being fortunate enough to have supportive families: This is a protective factor and may actually help the individual come to terms more quickly with what they have been through. It certainly helped in my own case.
with the jw congregations about to be informed that the ubiquitous awake!
magazine is to be issued just once a month from january 2006, now is an apt time for interested parties to share brief memories and/or impressions about the bi-monthly awake!
magazines, whether poignant, hard-hitting or humorous.
The monthly Awake (starting 2006) is supposedly announced in the March KM, but I'd like to see some confirmation. Check the thread Awake Moving To Monthly Publishing .
Stay tuned.
this might seem like a funny question to ask but my mom told me that "apostates" are addicted to jw-bashing and cannot let it go and have a life.
i asked her what she meant by this statement and she told me that all ex-jw's talk about is the wts and jw's and negative things about the jw's.
she said that we get up thinking about jw-bashing and go to sleep thinking about jw-bashing just like a drug addict.
When the Watchtower Society quits bashing apostates in print and during their assembly talks, I might think about it. Until then, I won't be hypocritical by claiming that their only purpose in life is their constant attacks on ex-JWs.
A cogent point Swan. It's a bit like an abusive parent whose child has left home bad-mouthing that child at every oportunity so that the other children don't think ill of the parent. Hey, parent: Look at your own behaviour if you want to begin to understand the behaviour of the child you've kicked out.
There are some who leave the organization and who never talk about it. The JWs must "love" this type of ex-JW. I must say that I am usually more concerned about these "quiet" ones. It could be that they are getting on with their lives and making the difficult adjustments - if indeed it is difficult for them. Then again, if they've been raised in the religion, they may continue to be controlled by negative emotions and creep around the earth like timid little mice waiting for the Big A to break out. I can't speak for these ex-JWs, but my impression would be that their ability to continue coping may be less developed than those ex-JWs who begin to open up and speak about their experiences. Yes, sometimes when we speak out, real deep emotions come out - and that is beneficial - goodness knows the emotions were stuffed down long enough when we were under the Watchtower's leaden control. As an earlier post said (Franklin, I think): It can be therapeutic to do so.
with the jw congregations about to be informed that the ubiquitous awake!
magazine is to be issued just once a month from january 2006, now is an apt time for interested parties to share brief memories and/or impressions about the bi-monthly awake!
magazines, whether poignant, hard-hitting or humorous.
I've got to poke my nose in again and share another memory about the Awake! magazine. It was sometime in the mid to late 60s (before Young People Ask was a regular feature) and the topic was "self-abuse" and it also spoke about "ships" and "canals" (Hey, I'm a good boy; if these terms puzzle you, I'm sure others will gladly provide definitions). Sad to say, I did not have a clue what it was talking about, but even as a pre-teen, it stirred up in me a dread of what could be happening in my own body. It was probably no different than the literature that was written by other fundamentalist-type religions at that time for their young people. I'd like to think that nowadays even the JWs are able to be a lot more open and balanced about the topic of sexual behaviour, and even if still "frowning" upon self-abuse, able to give less dread-inducing information to those young ones of impressionable age.
this might seem like a funny question to ask but my mom told me that "apostates" are addicted to jw-bashing and cannot let it go and have a life.
i asked her what she meant by this statement and she told me that all ex-jw's talk about is the wts and jw's and negative things about the jw's.
she said that we get up thinking about jw-bashing and go to sleep thinking about jw-bashing just like a drug addict.
I am inclined to think that those who bash jw for a long period of time after coming out of the religion are inclined to complaint (not only about jw) or to be critical in a purely negative sense
Could be the case, I suppose. Or it could be a genuine reflection of the degree of oppression and mistreatment they endured from fellow JWs. Each case is different and the ability to move of varies as a function of so many different factors. I suppose if you are fortunate enough to still have a loving and supportive family and access to resources to help yourself heal, you may spend less time "complaining" to use your term. Then again, the JWs as a whole consist of many who complain about the "old system of things". So, it seems hypocritical to accuse apostates of being complainers. This does seem like a double standard. Maybe the mistake is stereotyping people and assuming we know their reasons for what they do, when all we're doing is guessing.
