Crumpet

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Posts by Crumpet

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  16

  Do your dreams affect your life....

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...or are they just a source of nightly entertainment?

  alternatively how directly do your day to day activities insert themselves into your dreams.

  the reason i ask is because i had a dream last night which i think might actually be life changing.

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  Crumpet

  Hi Gumby - I am FURIOUS that you would suggest something like that!

  LOL - only kidding. Yes indirectly that is a fair point. I don't really resent the attention she gets from her Dad as such, because the way I see it I get him 6 days a week and she only gets him the one, which is awful for any child and should not happen. I don't resent their time together at all, but I do resist joining in and I know that they both find this a bit odd and sometimes upsetting that I don't get involved. I do get a little jealous that she seems to be having such a nice fun childhood and I didn't, but that doesnt mean I don't want her to have one. Part of my withdrawal has been because her mother has been making difficulties over access and because I just can't deal with it I back away. So there are lots of different issues - but just dreaming that I was capable of all that warmth love and positive feeling towards children was encouraging for me.

  Thanks for your thoughts
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  16

  Do your dreams affect your life....

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...or are they just a source of nightly entertainment?

  alternatively how directly do your day to day activities insert themselves into your dreams.

  the reason i ask is because i had a dream last night which i think might actually be life changing.

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  2. 
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• 

  Crumpet

  Hi Gill

  I agree your upbringing does not HAVE to impact negatively on your own children and you do sound like a lovely mother, but my problem has been not being able to move on in my head if you see what I mean. I was aware I was not being very warm, although never ever neglectful, to Paul's little girl. And I do often catch sight of my mother in the mirror or find myself doing things that she did and I worry that the things I learned are so ingrained that I can;t root them out. But the extraordinary dream last night gave me a smidgeon of hope that maybe I'm not all cold hard and stoney inside. And I have plenty of time to practise NOT being like my parents with Lauren - in fact if I look at it that way I might actually really enjoy the challenge. And this is all been provoked by this board and discussions and themes brought up by people here. I don't think I have talked this much in years and years - its so liberating, its unbelievable. I wish my partner could share my enthusiasm for it, but perhaps if he starts seeing me shed some of my more irritating black personality traits as a result of this then maybe he will!

  (Hehe - I'm starting to sound like a JW wife trying to persuade an opposing hubby.)

  crumpet x
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  16

  Do your dreams affect your life....

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...or are they just a source of nightly entertainment?

  alternatively how directly do your day to day activities insert themselves into your dreams.

  the reason i ask is because i had a dream last night which i think might actually be life changing.

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  2. 
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  Crumpet

  ...or are they just a source of nightly entertainment? Alternatively How directly do your day to day activities insert themselves into your dreams

  The reason I ask is because I had a dream last night which I think might actually be life changing. There was a conversation on this board in the last couple of days about smacking children and JW reactions to children - they they are selfish lower life forms, to be disciplined for the slightest offence. From this and remembering my own experiences I realised that my rather brutal mean attitude to childrern has resulted in major part from how my parents abandoned me when I was disfellowshipped and still a child and how I was raised to think of kids. The attitude though has sat uncomfrtably with me and makes me feel mean, hostil and angry - especially when my b/f's daughter comes to stay. I have zero tolerance and have to escape - from a 9 year old. Its ridiculous and I used to adore children - after meetings you would alwys find me holding court with the kids. And when I was 15 I spent all my time babysitting and eventually got a job as a part time live in nanny for a little chinese boy who I loved dearly. Somehow in being made to leave home this all changed and I have avoided kids ever since.

  Anyway in my dream last night I met a man (who's name was Peter Suen - I don't know anyone of either name, so I guess my brain made it up) who had three children under 7 - a girl and two boys. Their mother had died of cancer some months before and the children were sweet but terribly sad. In my dream I felt an overwhelming pity and maternal instinct for them and decided that I would look after them all - I would be their mother. When I woke up this morning I just felt lovely - like something had been restored to me. I felt the way I did when I was 15 or 16. I hope the feeling lasts, and that better still I will be able to transfer this postive feeling into action when my b/f's daughter visits next weekend. Because it has finally dawneed on me that children only need love and postivity to grown up to be loving positive people and that there is no reason on this earth that I should have carried around this chip of disliking and resenting children when I used to love it so much.

  Anyway sorry if I've gone on a bit - feel free to do the same back. I love to hear about people's dreams and what they personally deduce from them!
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  12

  Then and now - dating practices

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was in high school from 1954 to 1958. we did not have junior high at that time.

  we had grades, 1 though 8, and high school 9 though 12. .

  at any rate, we were encouraged to shop around and date several people, just like the rest of society.

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  Crumpet

  I like the way you look at the positive side Gill and it must be lovely to have those memories to treasure, as the bible says, with the [husband] of your youth. Makes me feel all warm inside!
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  7

  Does anyone else do this?

  by Sunnygal41 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ever catch yourself thinking about a coworker, and noticing little quirks they have, like anything they do, they have to like announce it???

  lol!

  yesterday, my coworker was doing a weekly hour balance for our drivers.

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  Crumpet

  Sunnygal - I don't do this but it does eff me off no end when other people do, but I kind of think that my annoyance is my problem - ie I am highly intolerant (not sure where I learnt that excellent quality - after all I was taught to love EVERYBODY and have been shown such love myself - NOT!).

  When I come in to work I shut off and dont talk to anyone unless I have to, but other people just seem to talk for the sake of hearing their own voices and sometimes I have to go hit my head gently against the tiles in the bathroom just to get away from it or scream!
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  16

  A Weasel In Me Diesel..

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  bloody thing won't start!.

  wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow........clunk!.

  the cars only done 300,000 miles!

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  Crumpet

  Our Jag has was 200,000 miles on the clock when we bought it and we're told that it should keep going for another 100,000 if we treat it right!
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  21

  I crashed my car

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last wednesday was an ordinary workday for me.

  with one exception, my employer, vodafone, had organised a sales challenge party in bussum, that?s between hilversum and amsterdam.

  as a consequence, our shop closed at 4 pm.

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  Crumpet

  Glad you are okay Vivamus! Sounds really scary. Was the car totalled?

  I completely understand you wanting your boyfriend - its not because its necessary in a practical sense - its necessary in a physical and emotional sense!

  I still want my mum when I get really sick, but I know she would only put down the phone if she heard it was me.

  PS - Sounds like you have a lovely b/f, and mum!
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  12

  Then and now - dating practices

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was in high school from 1954 to 1958. we did not have junior high at that time.

  we had grades, 1 though 8, and high school 9 though 12. .

  at any rate, we were encouraged to shop around and date several people, just like the rest of society.

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  Crumpet

  I was thinking about this this very morning on the way to work. I was looking at all the young boys - dressed up in their casual clothes for college (I mean sort of 16-19 - legal!) today, as today is a bit charity day called Comic Relief in the UK and the kids can wear "mufti" clothes.

  And I was thinking, as I looked out of my train window, how cute they looked and how angry I am that I missed out completely on ever dating boys my own age when I was young and innocent. My parents would have my younger sisters follow me everywhere, and I mean everywhere, from when I was 12 to 16 to make sure I didn't get up to anything. I'll never get that back - I'll never be 15 and kissing another sweet clean rosy cheeked 15 year old boy at the end of a trip to the cinema, with no guilt attached.

  I am so sad I missed out on that.
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  29

  Soft drink damage

  by MegaDude in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was in a deposition today and one of the parties told us about her friend who was a heavy user of soft drinks.

  for years she drank around five to seven a day.

  she had been having bone pain and went to the doctor and was told "your bones have the consistency of lace.

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  Crumpet

  Thanks for the info Makena - although I guess I knew this already. I do work on a strict abstinence 3 days out of 7 though and I do eat plenty of calcium rich foods so that should help dem bones of mine. And despite several "trips" of the inebriated variety and just through me generally being a bit of a clumsy girl, I guess I must be so relaxed that I have never broken any bones.

  Interesting stuff, thanks again.
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  26

  Is Your Lifestyle So Much Different Since You Left The Organization?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you see a difference in the way you live now that your out of the "truth"?

  more materialistic?

  more "worldly"?

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  Crumpet

  Here, Here Wolfgirl! Kind of wish I had taken your approach, unfortunately in my race to do everything I had been forbidden before Armageddon came and get me when I was 16 I did a few things that I don't necesarily regret, but may have done differently had I realised that I wasn't about to die at all.

  From a fellow Lincolnshire girl - Grantham congregation.