Billygoat
JoinedTopics Started by Billygoat
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15
My Profound and Wise 1000th post...
by Billygoat ina few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews talking.
suddenly, satan appeared at the front of the room.
everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.. soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that god's ultimate enemy was in his presence.. satan walked up to the old man and said, "don't you know who i am?".
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34
It's just dawned on me...
by Billygoat in...that jw's have a hard time forgiving others because they themselves are rarely forgiven for their own sins.
according to their beliefs jehovah keeps track of every detail of your life...good and bad.
that even if you are humble and repent of your sins, that there is still no true forgiveness until the new system.
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10
DFW Posters - dinner plans this Sunday night?
by Billygoat insome of us have talked about getting together for dinner this sunday night.
this is not the official north texas apostofest, but everyone is welcome to come.. anyway, we decided sushi would be fun, so i've recommended my favorite sushi bar.
if you aren't into sushi, please come anyway.
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7
Cute Bible Joke
by Billygoat ina new pastor moved into town and went out one saturday to visit some parishioners.
all went well till he came to one house.
it was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.
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23
My Thanksgiving...
by Billygoat inthis post is totally sappy, but i don't care.
i wanted to share it anyway.
lately, i have felt very sorry for myself because my relationship with my jw parents is almost to the point of being severed.
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50
What are men scared of???
by Billygoat ini just read tyydyy's post on macho men.
kent had an interesting point:.
i'd say a girl would go for a man - and then i mean someone who isn't scared shitless by a girl with brains!.
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2
Fire and Denomination Emergency Response
by Billygoat ina large city-wide ecumenical service was in progress when someone smelled smoke and yelled "fire!
" everyone responded in their own individual way.... the church of christ group pushed everybody into the water.. the lutherans nailed a paper to the door declaring 95 ways in which fire was evil.. the episcopalians formed a liturgical procession and marched out in an orderly manner behind an acolyte.. the unitarians concluded the fire had as much right to be there as anyone and announced they would add its unique origins to their open celebration of life.. the christian scientists elected a reader who gently persuaded them that there really was no fire.. the 7th day adventists said it was the vengeance of an angry god.. the jehovah's witnesses wrote an article about it and divided into groups to visit all the other denominations and sell copies.. the presbyterians commissioned a new anthem based on the atonal modalities of the sirens.. the pentecostals sharply rebuked the fire in unknown tongues.. the catholics petitioned the bishop for permission to leave before they had been blessed.. the christians (disciples) asked their pastor to stay out of it and referred the fire to the next board of elders meeting for a response.. the methodists gathered in a corner to pray that the traditional profession of firefighting could be peacefully blended with the contemporary nature of the flames.. and the baptists attempted to appoint three committees and pass an offering plate -- but soon quit speaking to each other after disagreeing whether the word "fire" was a fundamental, moderate or liberal concept.
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16
I just got taken!!! Grrrr!
by Billygoat ini started a new job last january with a fairly young company.
within just a few weeks, i realized this was a pretty good company to work for.
they pay well, bennies are good, senior management is pretty decent, future looks secure, etc.
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20
Judicial Committee "assists" another ...
by Billygoat inmom: the elders are led by god's holy spirit.
mom: don't go there andi.. andi: what?
mom: andi, i'm going to hang up the phone if you go there.. andi: mom!
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9
Friday afternoon humor?
by Billygoat inokay...it's friday, not a cloud in the sky, and i go on vacation tomorrow.
my humor is a little wacked today.
) but this really hit my funny bone!.