Good topic and its nice to see a balance coming out in the latest
replies.
My husband was one of those kind elders, maybe thats why we are no longer in the org.
He wasnt the only one in our area but yes he was in the minority.
He headed cleaning teams at assemblies and got his hands dirty vacuuming and cleaning up vomit, and for doing so was told by other 'cleaning team' elders that he was there to delegate not work. He always did his share and ignored those who strode around trying to look important with clipboards and walkie talkies.
The brothers and sisters in the cong would come to him and talk about their problems because he listened, didnt divulge their confidences and was kind even at times having words with others on the body who had treated the cong in a less than loving way.
Yes I have known him ask another elder (one whom most feared and disliked) out to the back of the hall after a WT and have a little chat with him after his pointed, unkind and unnecessary comments during the study had caused upset to others. (I am sure we all remember elders who used the WT answers as a way of gettimg at people)
He spent hours talking to another brother who was before a JC that he himself was on, trying to get him to see what he had to do to avoid being DF which the other elders wanted (I found all theses things out much later). The brother wasnt DF but it was hard work. (Looking back now we would tell him to run while he could).
My husband never wanted to an elder he just always does things to the best of his ability. He hated being in front on the platform and the idea of having others look up to you as though you were better than them.
After about 12 years in various congs he/we had had enough.
He began to see that the loving caring way was not what the GB wanted or indeed promoted.
CO's and DO's are only interested in numbers and hours.
Our cong was according to the CO the best in the circuit for the pioneer spirit and yet we had lost 3 of our elders (all kind men) in just 1 year out of a body of 7 due to them stepping down.
These men were worn out with fighting against the harsh attitude that is coming from the top.
My husband stayed with it longer than he should, he felt responsible to look after others, especially when there were so few elders left, but in the end due to various personal circumstances he stepped down and we have gradually drifted away.
Yes I think most elders enjoy the power and control the position gives them, after all in the world they are window cleaners and janitors, so maybe it gives them a feeling of self worth.
Then you get those who came in as adults with an education, who look down on the less educated dubs and proceed to climb the corporate JW ladder and become arrogant bullies. We have seen them all.
The kind elders dont usually last. They either become bullies to survive in the body or they burn out.
Still why should the GB care there are always others to replace them, people are expendable.
Call it a privilege and brothers will be taken in.
