Hey D. I know the outcast feeling, well. The Misfit Syndrome. It unfortunately cames from having believed I had the only true religion in the universe, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me. Nothing really matters when you're disillusioned by the very thing that kept you safe and secure from the big bad world. And yes, it is fraught with problems, but it can be a connect to seperating yourself from yourself. You like music? You can take up an instrument. Go to the places and find where the folks are who love the things you'd like to do.
Community is a key to getting out of your own way. I have a friend, for instance, who runs a small neighborhood garage. There's a group of us who just love cars and hanging out with each other. None them are or were Witnesses. They're just ordinary folk. They have thier issues but we try to be supportive of each other. A very small group but I've found in life you only need a couple of decent folks in your life to bounce energy off of each other. Takes time to cultivate friendship but the price you pay makes up in the long run.
Hope you'll rest well. Shalom. Art