Smiddy, sure guilt and shame is part of it, but dont forget the fear factor and the enforced secrecy that cloaks the relationship between abuser and child.
it is hard to explain but especially if the abuser cultivates a close relationship with the child or even the family, there is an instinct to protect him. The child's loyalty is divided because he is mistaking the abuse for a demostration of love.
Abusers know how to push the right buttons and make it about them. How they are misunderstood or in my foster father's case: "influenced by demons".
I remember part of the discussion I had with my sisters was what would happen to him?
My foster mother was more worried about financial support if he was in jail. Also the stigma of him being known as an abuser.
Us kids were worried about where we would end up.
So what happened was the elders deleted him as an elder and publicly reproved him.
He was allowed to stay in the home, but we . Were given strict instructions not to be alone with him.
we still had to respect him as the head of the house, and take discipline from him. We were not allowed to talk about it to anyone or mention it to him.
Sometimes adults really suck. And being a kid is being treated like a possession. ..no one asked us. We didnt even know we had options.
A culture of secrecy.