Interesting Religious Conversation with my Daughter...

by garyneal 38 Replies latest social family

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    Yesterday, my wife was getting ready for the KH and told the kids that they had to get ready too. I figured, oh well, they're heading to the hall at least I can get the time I need to catch up on some house work and what not. Before I know it, the wife gave up and allowed the kids to stay. Apparently, she is not trying to force them to go to the hall for she figures (and perhaps rightly so) that they would rebel later on when they become teens. I check in with her to ensure that they did not have a special guest at the hall or if there were any other reason why she insisted at first that the kids go. I even offered to go with her as a family if this was the case. Nothing special and she did not seemed too concerned with us going so she left on her own.

    Hanging out at the house with the kids, the day kind of got boring for them as the weather did not permit them to play outside. They earned some money cleaning up so I took them to spend it at the store. On our way there, we talked about Halloween and the holidays and why mommy does not celebrate.

    "She chooses not to celebrate because she believes that by not celebrating she is pleasing God," I said.

    Of course I do celebrate and so I told her that I did not feel the same way. We talked about how different people of different faiths practiced their faith differently even though they are pleasing the same God. I asked her if she remembered the invitation she got from her Mormon friend to attend her baptism. She did so I told her that Mormons feel that they please God by not drinking coffee or sodas because of the caffeine nor do they smoke. They feel that by abstaining from these things, they keep their bodies clean and please God. "So you mean no more Dr Pepper's?" she asked. "If you and mom were Mormons I could not drink Dr Pepper?" "That's right," I said, "if mom and I were to try to raise you up as a Mormon, no soft drinks for us and no coffee for mom." She questioned about how different people's religions have different rules when they are all trying to serve the same God to which I responded, "Yeah, it does all seem a little man made, doesn't it." By then we were entering the store and the girls went to the toy section to get their gifts.

    We then got lunch and they wanted me to take them to the new Goodwill that was just opened nearby. We went there and stayed for a short bit and left for home. On our way out the store, we passed by this muslim couple and my child, being 8 and naturally inquisitive began asking, "Why is that lady wearing a mask and only her eyes can be seen?" To which I replied, "Well, remember what we talked about concerning rules and pleasing God? People of the Islam or Muslim religion believe that women should remain covered from head to toe so as to show respect to their husbands or fathers and in so doing, please God." "Mom does not do that," she said. "I know, same God different rules," I replied.

    Hours went by before my wife returned but shortly after her returned I told her of our conversation. She was less than pleased and was visibly upset. She tried to say that the God of Islam is not the God of Christianity (they are). She felt the need to later school our daughter on why she does not celebrate Halloween and how it was started by pagan customs and then judge and criticize the churches that held the trunk or treat like the one we went to last week. I think she is concerned that I am trying to make our daughter an atheist (I'm not) in spite of the fact that she believes in God (as do I). I told her that I have NO interest in making my children think my way (that's what religious people do) and instead I just simply present things as they simply are to the best of my knowledge.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I wonder if she would believe that the Jews worship the God of the bible?

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Gary, I think it is wise to point these things out to your children. And kids aren't stupid. This will make them think. Critical thinking skills are key.

    Whenever I have discussions with Christians I always like to point out that their 'god' was Jewish. It's interesting to see the looks on their faces.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Well done Gary! I am sure your children will appreciate the loving way you show respect for your wife, and the loving way you tell them what you know to be true. As Heaven says, teaching them to question, and to question the answers they get, is so good for them.

    When they are able, get them to understand what Logical Fallacies are, so much of JW teaching is based upon such dodgy ground, once they can spot them, they can see for themselves that their Mom's religion is sorely lacking.

    I do hope that one day soon your dear wife wakes up.

  • MissFit
    MissFit

    Gary: I love the simple explanation you gave to your kids. You showed respect for others beliefs without endorsing them.

    I also think it is great how you let your wife in on the conversation.

    I also got to the point where I would leave the kids home with my non JW husband.

    Non of my kids are JWs now. I used to feel guilty, like I failed them some how, but I would try to plant seeds at home like your wife is doing. She wants to make up for not taking them to the meetings.

  • mgmelkat
    mgmelkat

    I teach my children in the same way! I explain how different people believe and worship in different ways and that we should respect that. They can also decide for themselves what they believe and what makes sense to them!

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    I told her that I have NO interest in making my children think my way (that's what religious people do) and instead I just simply present things as they simply are to the best of my knowledge.- gary

    To be fair I think as parents we all want our children to follow in our footsteps and think like us in important matters. Those who view university education as an assest will encourage theor kids to go to uni, vegetarians encourage their kids to be vegetarian and present them with the pros and cons of meat. We all do it, so to recognise this is the first step, it's not necessarily a bad thing as long as we teach them critical thinking too, and keep reminding them they make good choices when they do.

    Kate xx

  • ruderedhead
    ruderedhead

    You had a reasonable conversation with your daughter. Since it visibly upsets your wife, perhaps just tell her things you did with them, and other conversations you had, so she doesn't think you're trying to undermine her, which you obviously are not. If the girls mention it, you can deal with it then as if it's not that big a deal.

    You just never know what her friends at the hall will tell her if she relays the conversation to them. Some are reasonable, some over the top, some just like to cause trouble cause they have nothing else going. Sometimes, the less said, the better.

    Sounds like you are a great husband and Father!

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Just to correct a factual misunderstanding. Muslim women do not cover their faces to show respect to men-not their fathers or their husbands. In Islam, women cover their hair (and some, their faces) do so to be modest. That is the religious reason.

    The idea of it being out of respect for men is a carryover from the Christian teaching of headship as regards headcoverings. That is the CHRISTIAN take on it, not the Muslim background. Muslims generally don't follow Pauline thought.

    A sadder reality is that many women do it out of cultural acceptance. Some have no understanding at all religiously of why they would cover. They do so because their moms, grandma's and aunties do. Or, in limited places, they are required by law to do so. It isn't about respecting the headship of men whatsover unless they simply want to please their traditional family (men and women). So some DO cover because they want to please their family even though they don't feel like their faith as a Muslim requires them to. It is easier to cover than to converse with all their loved ones about why they don't.

    In the US, there are a LOT of women who you would never know are Muslim because they do not cover publicly. They may dress more modestly than other women (or not!), but again, it is their choice. Most of my friends do not cover even their hair.

    In the states, none of my friends cover their face. When I lived overseas, the face coverers were usually from very traditional bedu families, or just very rich famiies or converts. My friends who were converts were doing so out of their own conviction as they were unmarried.

  • cofty
    cofty

    JWDaughter - I don't understand how you can defend a religion that is the source of oppression for literally millions of women.

    Have you read Ayaan Hirsi Ali's "Infidel" and "Nomad"?

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit