MissFit

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Posts by MissFit

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  23

  3rd Gen DF'd finally writing

  by AFreeBeliever in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been reading many of the postings on this forum for a couplefew years, finally joined today.

  i think reading cappytan, and others like that, compelled me to share, it seems i might have a bit of a different outcome than many i have read, perhaps it will be hopeful/helpful to someone.. i was a born-in, 3rd gen jw, my entire family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and most all of my childhood friends) were in.

  some dropped by the wayside as the years went on, but many stayed in, and if they didn't, they still acted/talked as if they believed it was "the truth" and it was their weaknesses/failings that made them stop attending.

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  MissFit

  Welcome.   I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Thanks for sharing your story.

  Miss. Fit
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  9

  "Dead man walking", my resurrection

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

  for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

  " i was my judge, jury and executioner.

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  MissFit

  As a JW, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at Armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?

  For almost half my life I felt like I was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking." I was my judge, jury and executioner.  Last year I set on journey that freed me from my death sentence.   I was resurrected from my walking death by finding out the truth about the truth.

  As a near born in- raised JW, I knew the score.

  Every meeting I attended, reminded me of my vast short comings.  

  I knew I was not worthy.  I  choose to marry a non-believer.  I choose him over my god, I was not obedient.  Worse I didn't wait for my wedding night.  I was not worthy to be in paradise.

  In my heart I just knew that I had turned my back on  Jehovah.

  I tried to make a life for myself, all the while waiting silently for annihilation.

  After a couple of years, I confessed my sins to the Elders, and was deemed repentant and assigned a sister to study with.

  Thus began many years of struggle to be worthy.  

  I could never get into a spiritual routine.  I think I managed to stay active for 2 years.  I never felt the joy or spiritual fulfillment I was expecting.

  I tried because the fate of my children depended on me.  Its one thing to condemn myself, but my children deserved paradise.

  It turned out they didn't believe.  How can I live while they are destroyed? 

  No. We will be condemned together.

  I was resigned  to my fate until I stumbled on this site.  My eyes were opened and I was able to see that I had been blinded by lies and fear.

  My future is now.  I no longer live under a cloud of expectant execution. 

  
  
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  28

  A Mind at War

  by cappytan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  right now, i feel like my mind is at war with itself.. on the one side is reason, logic.. on the other is tradition, hope and fear.. reason and logic are challenging life-long beliefs.

  they are telling me, "is this any more believable than the story of the lord of the rings?".

  certain doctrines of my belief system are crumbling.. my mind still wants to hold on to the belief in a creator, his son jesus and the bible.

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  MissFit

  Cappytan,  I really like the way you summed up the struggle of waking up.

  You discribed the journey I am on and the battle I am fighting.   Thank you.

   Vent away here. Just know you are not alone.  Many here can relate and have faced the same dilemma. 

  What is great about this site is we have the benefit of others experiences. They are able to help avoid pitfalls and encourage us when we slip into dispair. 

  Don't forget the adage:"misery loves company".Lol.  

  You will also find lots of encouragement and moral support.

  I look forward to more of your posts.

  Miss.Fit
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  8

  Interview with an Apostate: Downtowner

  by Downtowner in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  tell us a little about yourself and your family.i grew up in the organization and baptized at age 10 years 11 months.

  i lost my father to cancer and nearly lost my mom (thank goodness i didn't) to an illness both in 1999, i became inactive in 2000, and came out of the closet in 2001.. were you a born in or a convert?i was born in.

  are your parents / family jws?

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  MissFit

  Welcome, thank you for sharing your story.  

  You will find plenty of support here.

  I am looking forward to more of your posts.

  Miss.Fit
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  2596

  The Pastor of my Old Church Tried to Re-Convert Me Yesterday

  by cofty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yesterday evening my wife and i were invited to friends house for new year's eve.

  we met them when i was a christian and we have kept in touch.

  they had a few other friends there as well, including the new church pastor and his wife.

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  MissFit

  Hi Cofty,

  May I humbly suggest you start another thread with the updated reasons and rebuttal points?  You could link this thread to the new one or visa versa if someone wants to read the entire discussion.

  This thread is so long now that new posters might be too intimidated to wade through all the pages.  And I am afraid they will miss out on the summary.

  This thread has really helped me look at things in a different way.  I hope others will have an opportunity to benifet from it, if only to give them a different perspective. 

  Thank you for your consideration. 

  Miss.Fit
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  28

  1st POST: A romance with a JW

  by myangelface in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am not a jw ...however i began having bible studies (i d call them watchtower studies).

  i was beginning to get lured in and brainwashed into accepting the religion as the true religion...but something inside of me told me there was something odd.

  some time passes and i was invited to a meeting and i accepted.

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  MissFit

  Billy brought up a very important piece:

  The shunning.  A little fling with you is not harmless to him.  Getting involved with you could totally destroy life as he knows it.  He is probably trying to decide if you are worth it.

  In his mind, he is risking his relationship with his God, his family, and his "friends".

  If he "falls into temptation", he can get shunned. No contact ar all with any of his JW family or friends EVER. 

  Are you serious enough about that young man to be willing to replace all of that?

  If not, leave him alone, he will always blame you for his loss. 

  
  

  
  
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  51

  Tomorrow will be one of the PROUDEST days of my life.

  by nicolaou in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  iv'e been posting here a long time but here's something i never shared before .

  i'm still a window cleaner.

  i'm not going to rant at the 'society' because they don't own my anger anymore but my work is certainly a legacy of my cult past.

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  MissFit

  Hey Nick.  Any updates? 
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  51

  Is this a discussion forum or a debating forum , which is it ?

  by smiddy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you get confused sometimes whether this site is a discussion forum or a debating forum ?.

  just asking.

  whats your thoughts.. smiddy.

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  MissFit

  I come here for the support.  I like Terry's description of a triage.

  What has helped me was reading other's experiences and realizing I wasn't alone.

  Just knowing others went through the same things, had the same feelings, in different countries even, really helped me.

  I would say this is a support site first. 

  Thank you to Cofty , who correctly noted that some discussions have made a difference.  The EPIC thread comes to mind.  That discussion really helped me analyze the difference between what I thought I knew and what was fact.

  
  
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  27

  Memories. .. share the earliest or most favorite childhood memory

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my daughter tells me that experts say children tend to have false memories.

  apparently their brain tends to fill things in that may not be totally accurate.. i refuse to believe that my favorite and comforting memory might not be true.

  so here is to fond memories real or not.. the earliest memory i have is being put in a crib at a preschool.

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  MissFit

  Hello all.  Just checking to see if any new ones wanted to share their memories or insites into the things we remember.

  
  
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  64

  one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we talk here about the importance of being mentally and physically out to be really free.. what about being emotionally free?.

  i realized for me, i had to be emotionally awake first.

  i had been yo-young back and forth for years.

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  MissFit

  Hello all, after the holidays, I have spent some time assessing my emotional freedom.

  This was the first year I put up a tree and decorated it.

  It was more of a celebration of my freedom than of Christmas. I am trying to 

  unchain myself from the taboos and superstitions that were ingrained in me.

  I was not struck by lightning .lol.  I was surprisingly guilt free.

  I did admit to my mom this year that I wasn't going to meetings instead of letting her assume I was.

  Anyone else shed a few more emotional chains lately?