The watchtower is good at making people feel guilty all the time for not doing enough.
At assemblies thay would bring out experiences of sisters with unbeliving husband and 5 kids and they were pioneering and at the end they would ask the audience " Can you go in prayer before Jehovah and give him an excuse why you are not pioneering?"
I would hear from my ex-wife the same as you while i was trying to pay the bills, raise 3 kids.
Ask your wife if you notice in the congregation anyone that has been helped by Jehovah?