Can someone explain fully the restrictions that a JW must accept when dating or trying to date a person not of the same faith - protestant. Can she still date. Is marriage permitted even though objected too by JW. CAn she go to dances. Can she drink alchohol. How physical can she get.Who would report her to her elders. what actions would the elders take.
New JW relationship
by dougpotts 33 Replies latest social relationships
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Finally-Free
Welcome to the board!
A JW is not allowed to date someone of another faith. They are strongly adminished to avoid having "worldly" friends. Doing so could result in the JW being shunned by everyone in the faith, including all family members. Their life could turn into pure hell. So could yours if you continue such a relationship.
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funkyderek
Can she still date.
Yes, although she will be strongly discouraged from doing so.
Is marriage permitted even though objected too by JW.
Yes but not in a Kingdom Hall (JW church); again this will be strongly discouraged and she will be considered "spiritually weak" for marrying an unbeliever.
CAn she go to dances.
Yes, as long as there is no lewd dancing or "music that debases", and there is an appropriate chaperone. The chaperone would ideally be a JW in good standing, which may be hard to find if she's dating an unbeliever.
Can she drink alchohol.
Yes, in moderation.
How physical can she get.
Holding hands is usually considered OK if you've been dating a while. Kissing is acceptable as a sign of affection. Passionate kissing is frowned upon. Momentarily touching a breast would be "loose conduct". Caressing it may be considered fornication.
Who would report her to her elders.
Any busybody JW with nothing better to do.
what actions would the elders take.
They would gang up on the girl. Two or three of them would question her in depth about whether she was ever alone with her date, what they did, what she was wearing etc. If they think she's been guilty of some gross sin, they may reprove or disfellowship her, which will lead to her being shunned by everyone she has ever known.
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Legolas
Welcome to the board!
Funkyderek and Finally gave the answers!
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jgnat
Hi, dougpotts. I am a non-JW regular Christian married to a JW. I'd consider the following links required reading for anyone dating a Jehovah's Witness.
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dougpotts
Thanks for the reply. I dont know what they could do if she simply resigned from the faith and joined another church - my church. They could not touch her nor indeed could they do anything that would affect me. Her grown up children are outside and out of their clutches.All she would have to worry about is her sisters who are inside. All she has to do is quietly slip away from the organisation. Cant see her sisters refusing to talk to her - who would no whether they are in contact or not.
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jgnat
Very few Witnesses walk away from the society without baggage. You have no idea what kind of pull they can have on your sweetheart. Has she talked much about the religion that played such a big part of her life?
Many ex-witnesses are fearful of other churches. They've been told over and over again that they are rife with pagan influences.
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Legolas
If her sisters are hard core JW's, for lack of a better word, no they would NOT talk to her!
No one would!
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blondie
1. To marry you, she does not have to resign (disassocate) from the WTS. But if she gets married in a church, she is automatically disassociating herself.
2. Yes, if she marries you in a church or by a minister, every JW she knows will shun her; at least they are supposed to. Some JWs are not consistent.
3. It is good her children are out.
Don't get sucked into the WTS yourself.
Blondie
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Finally-Free
I dont know what they could do if she simply resigned from the faith and joined another church - my church.
They would shun her. Her family would disown her. She would be treated as though she were dead. She would not be invited to the weddings of other family members. They would not sit and eat a meal with her. They would refuse to respond to her phone calls or letters.
Don't get me wrong - leaving the JWs is the best thing she could do - it's just very hard for those with family who are also JWs.
Check out the "Best of.." section on the board.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/1.ashx
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