Messy home or no home?

by Sparkplug 25 Replies latest social relationships

  • Sparkplug

    soledad and frannie. That is one thing I said first and upfront- That seeing he would have no clue where she unless she revealed...that she could not say. If she had to then any kid exchanging, talks etc were to be done somewhere other than here....yeah I learned that one the hard way too!!

    Nina...LMAO at this

    so if you sit down you're treated to lacey leftovers that won't wipe nothin'.)

    I so know the feeling. Especially when our spare rolls are way high and across the room so the cats won't get them too. So once you are down it is a scavenger pick up of shreds of fluff.. Very funny!!

  • avishai

    Get a flashlight and see if something is stuck in it, like a bobby pin, and then take pliers and pull it out. Then hit your reset switch underneath the sink, should be a red button on the disposal motor.

  • avishai

    Unplug your dispoasl first!!!!!!!

  • FlyingHighNow

    Spark, I learned years ago, when I was ill and couldn't keep up with my own housework, that I will never judge anyone's housework again. We can never know what overwhelming things they could be going through. When I hear smug remarks from someone who says "I keep my house as neat as a pin" about some unfortunate soul's messy house, I think to myself, "Well, I can see that this person hasn't seen enough adversity or suffered enough ill health or depression."

    Your friend is looking for reasons to stay with her abusive mate. She used the state of your housekeeping as the reason to turn you down. This isn't necessarily why she turned you down. It sounds to me like she hasn't hit bottom yet with her husband. In your shoes, I'd confront her about her past messy home and tell her that if she really thinks your home needs to be cleaned, she should offer a kind and caring hand, rather than make a hurtful and foolish comment like she did. I'd ask her who will be there to help her, if she keeps slapping helping hands.

  • Eyebrow2

    Flying could be right...sometimes the abused are too afraid to leave, and will sometimes use silly excuses to stay.

    Either way, your friend shouldn't have said that to you. It was pretty rude.

    I stopped using our garbage disposal as much because we would sometimes have issues...I fell your pain. They suck to deal with. My mother in law dump a whole pot of burned corn soup down it once, and didn't have it on long enough. It got stuck somewhere, and the dishwasher started backing up into the washing machine, and leaked through our carpet in the office my husband had just finished in the garage...yuck, He had to get on the roof and use a long snake through the air pipe to get it in was nasty!

    My house is usually a mess. My friends undestand they need to call first and let me know they want to come over...I know they are not going to give me a hard time, but it gives me 30 minutes or so to run around the house and get some stuff taken care of. They do it out of kindness for me, because they know I may be embarressed, if it has been a rough day.

    She may not realize she was being rude, but maybe when she gets her life in order she will, and maybe even thank you for the offer and apologize for being a boob.

  • LittleToe

    Sparkplug can't come to the phone right now (or type) - she lost her fingers in a tragic household accident...

    But the good news is that she can't open the door to her pseudo-friend, either.

  • Sparkplug

    My server went down and I never got back on till this am. Took that long. So I defraged in the meantime. I am so now I have to run to work so I have to wait till way later today to visit. DAMN. I hate when that happens.

  • LittleToe

    Oh, oh, oh, the opportunities presented to inject some smutty innuendo and double entendre!!!

    DAMN. I hate when that happens.

    Me too. It makes the curtains all sticky!

    I've rarely been in a house with kids that wasn't a little messy. It's all part of "living" in a house and kids being, well..., kids! Having been raised the eldest of four, I know it only too well and there's comfort in that

    ...unless you happen to chance upon the sticky curtains and then realise that the jammy piece (translation: jelly sandwich) is stuck to your bum!

  • mrsjones5


    Dont have much to add, everyone has given you great advice and support.

    I have a messy house too and I have 4 kids and a husband. I try not to let it get me down, especially the neverending laundry. But I figure if the kids are happy, healthy and doing well, which they are - then I must be doing something right.

    Stay strong girlfriend,


  • Billygoat


    I have to agree with FHN. I don't think your friend turned you down out of smugness. I really think she doesn't realize what she said was rude either. In the midst of pain and desperateness, you do and say things you don't really mean. I'm not saying excuse it, but just trying to get perspective from where she might be right now. I agree with whomever said she hasn't hit bottom with her mate...she hasn't. And when she does, if your offer still stands, your home with look like a castle to her.

    Like Nina said:

    Do you know what your house is full of? LOVE!!! And love trumps all the plugged up drains, broken dryer doors and chewed up toilet tissue in the world.

    I had the opportunity before dating Mozz to date a male friend of mine that made a TON of money. Close to $250,000/year at the time. He lived in a gorgeous home, amazing career, drove a Porsche. I knew if we got married one day, that I would never want for anything. Except maybe a husband that was home paying attention to me. So nothing came out of that relationship other than a simple friendship. (We don't even talk or see each other anymore, so maybe it wasn't even that good of a friendship. LOL!)

    When Mozz and I started dating, he was unemployed, drove an old car and recovering from a drug addiction. But he had exactly what I wanted - devotion to me and our relationship. So today - five years after Mozz and I start dating, we are married, live in a modest home that isn't perfectly clean most of the time, in debt up to our eyeballs, and have no idea how we'll ever afford children. But he is going on 5 years of sobriety, works like a dog at a job he loves, comes home every night, helps me cook and clean and love our on furry children, and is as in love with me today as he was when we started dating. When I think of my old male friend back in the day, I wonder what my life would be like if I'd married him. And then I look at what I have and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I am grateful for our little life and I love it with every bone in my body. Despite the messiness, despite the bills, despite the frustrations that might come along with it. I can't and don't want to imagine my life any other way. So be proud and happy with your life - you have riches that most people in this world do NOT have. THE LOVE!

    And like Nina offered, if you ever need a dryer, you can always come over here too!

    Love ya girl,


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