Why is it so hard to have meaningful conversation at the Kingdom Hall?

by truthseeker 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • TheListener

    Excellent points!

    When I was a super-dub I remember having conversations with different ones that would last several minutes. But, they were always about non-spiritual matters. It does seem that it's easier to talk about restaurants, sports, music and other generic stuff than to discuss anything scriptural.

    Now that I'm fading I have a really hard time discussing those generic things because I'm no longer in the JW mindset, I'm bound to slip up and say I like something evil or saw an evil movie. - just like FairMind said, you're going to talk about what interests you and if you're out/on the way out you will screw up sometime.

    Can you imagine having a deep scriptural discussion with someone like we sometimes have here. Take the Headcovering thread for example, there is some really deep thought on that thread, but you'd never have that kind of disucssion at the hall. The discussion would start and stop at, well the bible says to wear a headcovering. OK goodnight.

  • TheresMoreToCome

    I remember not only feeling it was very difficult to talk at the Kingdom Hall, but with the few friends I did spend time with outside of the KH, we spoke volumes without saying a word, if you know what I mean. I was raised as a dub and I still am somewhat socially awkward, although I am learning to come out of that. I feel a deeper connection with people at work than most of the people there, and I just started this job a few weeks ago. I remember feeling several times this very frightened, almost terrified nausea when I was at the KH, and then it would pass. I remember at the moment just wanting to curl up in my seat & shut down, or just crawl away from it all. It was this feeling of being a helpless, vulnerable little child in a horror movie situation...couldn't describe it any other way really. Anyway, I remember the friends that I did have being judgemental and close-minded, condemning anyone and everyone they came across, and then pretending to have orgasms and laughing. It was really weird, looking back at it, and still I valued them. I don't know why now. Now that I'm out I realize most people outside of it aren't going to judge every single word I say, and am finding it easier to open up. In fact, everytime I've really been sincere I've gotten a positive reaction, and to me, that's more loving than the fake empathy they provide at the hall.

  • TheresMoreToCome

    Wait I said that wrong...we didn't speak volumes...we spoke volumes of words, without saying anything meaningful is what I meant to say...or something like that. Third shift is eating my brain.

  • GetBusyLiving

    Because you have to talk to Jehovah's Witnesses.


  • Tez

    And you know what Coffe Black, thats what is so missing among JW's, true friends you can talk in depth with... its what I always wanted but never really found in all the 22 years of going to the KH, and I really did try!!! As soon as you are in company of other JW's you feel so inhibited!! and obviously thats how they feel too... not what Jehovah intended I am sure!!!

  • thom

    The one person I enjoyed talking to was the PO's wife. She had an actual career and supported him (he didn't work). We would discuss business and just chat about people we worked with and stuff like that.
    She was the only person I could really hold a conversation with at the KH and in service. Once her husband saw I was in their group for service and said "I guess I have a bunch of conversation about IPO's to listen to today." He was being sarcastic but at least we had something to talk about.
    Most people in the hall didn't like her and considered her "weak", but I thought she was a very nice person and I felt sorry for her.

  • stillajwexelder

    Why is it so hard to have meaningful conversation at the Kingdom Hall?

    because they are all brain washed automoton robots with scripted answers?

  • Oroborus21


    This thread has a lot of nonsense and most of the so-called reasons given to explain the "short conversations" are garbage.

    The reason doesn't have anything to do with JW mentality or short-attention spans or the theology of the religion or anything like that. It is just a function of time and location. The very same people who can't seem to speak more than a few sentences at the KH will talk endlessly for hours at congregational picnics, at the lunch-hour at the Assembly, at home, or even walking in the ministry.

    The fact is that most people arrive about 20 minutes or less before the start of the meeting, with most coming in maybe 10 minutes or so before the start. And afterwards, most have other things to do after giving up 2 hours of their day and leave fairly quickly. There simply isn't time to spend in any lengthy conversations. This factor alone makes any such deep or personal topics or discussion which require explanation and background virtually impossible.

    Add to this the fact that Jehovah's Witnesses respect the place of their worship, consider it God's House, and thus many topics like the latest episode of Desperate Housewives or problems at work or home, etc. are not considered proper by most. Also there is specific direction from the Society not to do any business dealings at the Kingdom Hall, which in the normal world makes up a large part of one's normal conversations with others.

    Finally, a lot of this observation depends upon the particulars of the congregation and the larger cultures involved. I have been in predominantly white, black and hispanic congregations and in the latter two these definitely tended to be longer and more in depth conversationalists than in the mostly white congregations. But again, even in these "warmer" congregations the same above factors were present which result in typically abbreviated dialogues and rather superficial chit-chat.

    Common Sense,

    Eduardo Leaton Jr., Esq.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    It's been a long time but I still remember a few things.

    As an elder's wife I wound up staying after meetings. There was always someone to talk to. Some were the two minute chats. People were trying to round up family to leave. Yes they were distracted. But once the first group left the MS woves and elder's wives were left.

    I had some good friends. We all had kids of the same age and always could find something to talk about for an hour until the husbands told us to hurry up because they didn't like waiting for us

    But every few weeks an elder would pass by and remind us that we should only be talking about spiritual things - not our kids or the problems they were having or our health problems or whatever. It got so bad that if we wanted to talk about these things we went outside. when the weather was nice.

    Talk about control

  • Cygnus

    I haven't read the other comments yet, but the original post is something I never considered before, but thinking about it, it's so true. How often were you asked, "How you doin'?" and never even got a chance to answer? Or - my pet peeve and one caty also had happen to her all the time - how often were your conversations with somebody completely interrupted by someone who didn't even say "excuse me" but just butted in and basically left you standing there holding your dick? Good post, truthseeker.

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