She said I seem really bitter about my JW experience....

by Sirona 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • dedpoet

    I was lied to, lied about, those bastards made my life a total misery for the last 2 years I went to meetings. They accused me of various offences, including theft, an affair with a customer on my window cleaning round, both completely untrue. They watched my flat on non - meeting nights to see if I went anywhere, and demanded an explanation of what I was doing when I did go out (didn't get one though), when I broke a bone in my foot and couldn't make meetings or service they refused to arrange help to get me to the kh, despite my asking, then reproved me for non - attendance and no service report, ignored my attempts to comment at meetings then counselled me for not commenting, and when I finally stopped going they were never away from my home till I told them to f**k o**. Then, for the last few years they largely ignored me, but for some reason started taking an interest again, which is why I finally da'd a few months ago.

    Yes, you could say I'm a little bitter.....

  • diamondblue1974

    Yeah I have had this said about me too when I explain my past and experiences with people; however I think largely its down to how others perceive bitterness; personally I wouldnt say I was bitter at all....resolved never to go back...resolved and focussed in helping others discover the truth about 'the truth' but not bitter in the negative sense.

    Again to reiterate others views on here...some have a right to be bitter...some have right to be angry and it is part of the healing process...its almost like there are stages of recovery...and each of us are at these different stages.

    Sirona...its good this colleagues comments have caused you to think about your approach...(not that there is anything wrong with it) but its useful sometimes to analyse how our approach might be perceived by analyse whether or not we are taking our experiences and drawing something positive from them...after all obtaining something positive from all the negativity we have suffered at varying degrees has to be very least we can do.


  • PaulJ

    I think its right to be bitter to a certain extent at least. We all know what they do to people and how we were treated- its wrong.

    If someone broke into your car and pinched your stereo, you'd be bitter about them as well. Because they have 'done wrong to you too. This tho is much worse because they had our whole trust and devotion, and all the time they were lying and covering their tracks.

    I have mentioned to a few people that i was once a JW. I simply say that they may view JW's as a bit religiously eccentric, but theres more to it than that. I explain that there is a subtle brainwashing going on and really they are no different to any number of religious cults you hear about on the TV.

    Even if I never speak to that person again I have linked JW's with the words 'cult' and 'brainwashing'. I think its unlikely they will want to talk to them.

  • Confession

    I suppose the problem with the word "bitterness" is it may imply that our comments about the WTS are more "emotional" and a bit less "rational." That our perceptions have been clouded by the emotional reactions we've had from our *personal* experiences.

    You know how it goes. There's a restaurant in town that most everyone loves. But you find one person who tells you that it's positively dreadful--and that they will NEVER go back. Perhaps they had a bad experience one time, and--despite it's relative rarety at this establishment--they will forever speak nastily of it. Anyone else's experience is irrelevant. So their experience has caused them to be bitter, and for that reason someone may consider their opinions as tainted.

    And to a greater or lesser degree this can be true. There are probably a number of ex-JWs who know nothing about the 607 B.C.E. mistake, the pyramidology Russell utilized, the "fornication" with the United Nations, the history of protecting pedophiles, etc. They didn't like 'the way they were treated' a few times, and now they just speak angrily of the organization. For most of us though, any "bitterness" is accompanied by reams and reams of shocking discoveries about the WTS. Not just about certain "bad things" that have happened over the years. Not just about certain "mistakes" that have been made. But more importantly their "covering over" of these things--in a way that would get any *individual* within the organization disfellowshipped, keeping important information from those who have a right to it--and often quite viciously using their authority to manipulate the flock, willfully ruining people's lives to protect their empire.

    To me? Right now, only one year into my awakening, I'm just really happy that I finally figured it out. While it's true that I had certain personal experiences that were negative--they were far, far less so than the experiences many others have had. I can say with great confidence that the righteous indignation I feel toward the WTS is not because of any personal experiences, but instead from the awareness I now have of how deep their deception and manipulation reaches into the lives of human beings. The very human beings they purport to keep watch over. The ones they themselves emotionally threaten.

    In my case, the negative experiences I had did not make me bitter--to the degree that I would misrepresent or exaggerate the truth about the WTS. They only gave me the permission (FINALLY) to give the organization an objective investigation.

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    LOL, yeah I've had people make that comment to me, to which I usually respond like Lawrence, bitter is way too mild a word. Hate, deep, deep hatred would be much closer to the truth.

  • Billygoat

    ((((Sirona)))) I'm sure it was an eye-opener for you. Sometimes it surprises us how other people see's not always how we see ourselves. But whether her comment was good or bad, there is something to learn from it. It's YOUR recovery. She doesn't need to understand it or approve of it. If you're bitter, so what? You have a right to be. If you're not bitter, great! You're a step ahead of many people in the same circumstance. If she understood what you'd been through, she might be a little more compassionate.

  • GetBusyLiving

    I've had a couple witnesses tell me that I sounded bitter. To that I say, NO SHIT! Who wouldnt be bitter having wasted 28 years in a religious cult being lied to then and then shunned for figuring out the truth?!

    You do just move on with your life though eventually with time. Those feelings are dissipating in me now. Anytime anyone mentions any pro - dub bullshit they get an earful of the truth but otherwise I don't really care too much about the people still stuck in. I feel sorry for the kids and brainwashed adults that are being abused and KILLED because of such things as the Watchtower blood policy.. but I can't take it personally anymore. The hate can consume a guy.


  • Sirona

    Its interesting isn't it? I think it is true that people equate "bitterness" with clouded / emotional thinking. I just know that any anger I have toward the WBTS is there because of what I've been through. Unfortunately people think you hate individual JWs when really you hate the establishment of the religion (the Gov Body).


  • ButtLight

    Maybe it was assumed your bitter cause you talk about it? Sortof in a negetive way? They cant really understand if they were never a JW. But that doesnt make you bitter.

  • Confession
    I just know that any anger I have toward the WBTS is there because of what I've been through.

    But isn't it true that any anger you have is not *purely* because something bad happened to you? If you believed that what you've been through was isolated--and was due to mistakes made and not institutional wickedness--wouldn't you be a bit less judgmental about the organization? This in no way is meant to minimize what your experiences have been--not at all. But isn't it true that the primary motivation for anger is the *bigger picture* and not simply what you yourself have experienced?

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