JW Husband and Apostate Wife (page 3)

twinflame

OUCH DY!

I have successfully left but as you should know, JWs never let go or give up. Yes, I am whining and maybe even looking for a way out. Try living life day-to-day with someone that you know thinks you are going to be destroyed and your children too. Listen every day about how corrupt the world is and how bad people are and only Jehovah can help. Listen to the condemnation of every holiday that comes along. And helping out with charities...only God's Kingdom can really help people, not charities.

Then go look at the history on our computer and see the porn sites visited one after another and listen to the drunken arguments about when the symptoms of my disease (leaving the JWs) first started. And no, I don't have a problem with porn....I have a problem with the typical JW judgmental mentality that is always ready to condemn and see people destroyed while the rafter is lodged in their eye. I love my husband for what he used to be, but I hate the aura of hypocrisy and superiority that I live with while he's commenting about making sure his relationship with Jehovah stays on track and his service stays strong. And of course, he always tells me how much he loves me and hopes we can work through things; that he only wants me to be happy.

Whine? Bitter, confused and angry? Yeah, I guess. As I said from the beginning, I don't know what I want or expect; I just thought I could vent. Hey, I guess you could just use the excuse my husband uses with the 'friends': 'She's going through menopause and just freaked out'!

Bryan

Welcome Twin!

Sorry for delima. At least your chidlen are out!

Bryan

mrsjones5

Twinflame, vent all you want honey

Josie

GoingGoingGone

Twinflame, vent all you want honey

I second that!

GGG

Doubtfully Yours

Pick the right, peaceful, cordial moment and inform your husband that you're not of the same mind religiously speaking and that you'd appreciate if he respected you in that regard.

After that, whenever you get the smallest hint that the JW indoctrination is coming from him, nicely remind him about it again, and again, and again, until he finally gets it.

My husband currently understands that I'm not wholeheartedly in the religion and he leaves me alone for the most part. I've even gone as far as telling him the truth about why I'm still somewhat in, that it's because I need to talk to my family, and that otherwise I'd have left a long time ago. He respects that and really leaves me alone. The only difference is that we truly love each other and have so much personality and other things in common.

The only thing I regret is that he really loves his religion and because of me he won't be able to get as far as he deserves inside it. He's a truly good guy, and good Christian.

DY

GoingGoingGone

The only thing I regret is that he really loves his religion and because of me he won't be able to get as far as he deserves inside it.

DY -

What you do as a JW, as his wife, shouldn't make any difference. My husband is an elder, and he told me that it doesn't matter what I do as far as his 'position' goes. I am an adult and make my own decisions. However, if my kids refused to go to meetings, or got into serious trouble, then he would risk being removed as elder.

If your husband wants to 'advance' in the JW ranks, your activity or inactivity shouldn't matter. So don't blame yourself for his troubles.

GGG

twinflame

DY -

Thanks for the advice. I do understand where you are coming from and apologize for being on the defensive. I guess what it boils down to is the lack of that kind of relationship with my husband. I am very happy for you that you have a good, sound relationship with your husband.

Take care, and again, thanks for trying to be helpful.

bythesea

Welcome, twinflame!!

You said:

I guess you could just use the excuse my husband uses with the 'friends': 'She's going through menopause and just freaked out'!

I had to laugh at this as its what I suggested to my husband when he asked me what he was supposed to tell people when they asked why I wasn't at many meetings anymore! He, however, didn't laugh!!

I'm new at posting here too, and am finding so many wonderful comments, and people who can relate to what's going on with the whole exit/fade slide out of the WTS. You've been gone awhile now, unlike myself who still puts on some appearances for sake of the hubby and wanting to keep relationships with family....but it sounds like if you're going to make any headway with planting seeds in your guys mind that you not make him feel he has to always be on the defensive. Maybe its hard to remember how you defended "the truth" back when you were active and anyone said anything critical, but that's what we all did at one time! Think "soft shoe" instead of tap dancing all over his faith...I think you'll get further....and it may have to be in babysteps.... That's my approach with my hubby....I'll let you know if its working!! Good luck....and Welcome Aboard!! Its nice to have another wife who's seen the light!! Bythesea

JW Husband and Apostate Wife

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