Should I get Disfellowshipped? (sorry, it's excommunicated, now)

by Lilycurly 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  AK - Jeff

  I can't see the value in getting DA'd or DF'd in your case. I know it would shake your father's world a little, but it could end up being a losing choice should he elect to 'get serious' about the society's rules in this matter.

  Sounds like to me your dad is a great guy, maybe just going along with the WT rules due to his wife and step-kids [if I got that right]. If you got Df'd he may face pressure from his family or someone in the congregation who makes it hard for him to treat you well and stay a witness.

  I vote; if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it!

  Jeff
• 

  Carol

  Why stir up a hornets nest. Maybe, by example, you can show your father that both you and your mother are leading just as good and productive lives as "inactive" witnesses as you did as "active" witness, and in this way you will be able to show him where the "organization's" teachings are wrong. Why put him through the pain of possibly having to make a choice between his blood and the "organization" and why give the "organization" the last laugh!

  I didn't think the term disfellowshipped was still being used, let alone excommunicated (that is soooooo Catholic), I thought it was just announced that "______ _______ is no longer a Jehovah's Witness"
• 

  zev

  when did it change from disfellowship to excommunication?
• 

  Cordelia

  no its definatsly still being used i got --------- has been disfellowshipped from the christian congregation, six months ago,

  i cant understand why u would want to do it if u have faded anyway, i have caused such pain to my family in fact just put a thread on as im being pressured to be reinstated and am finding it so hard to resist my familys pain (they dont talk at all apart from my dad alittle bit)

  plus theres a difference in going to see a dodgy movie and openly speaking to your dfed daughter it may back fire on you if he is a good dub he may be torn between you and 'how it looks' do you really want to cause him that pain?

  and if he would continue talking to you then he cant be that strong in the 'faith' so you could prob draw him away anyway

  (imo)
• 

  lawrence

  Lilycurly-

  What DF'ing activity did you have in mind?
• 

  lawrence

  BTTT.

  So once again, what DF'ing activity are you contemplating?
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  Lilycurly

  Okay, just to make it clear, we are not a reconstituted family. My father has only one family, my mom, me, my sister and our two young brothers. He is the ONLY one still in "the truth". Maybe I will reconsider, after reading all your responses, it might not be worth the pain...it's just that I was thinking...what would he do? How could he face his own family (his sisters, father and mother) if they were to know that he is not allowed to talk to me, his own daughter, because of some petty things that they all do?

  And mind you, I wasn't about to whore around or do crack just to get DF'd, I'm not crazy, I thought that the sole fact that I was actively apostate would do it, but it doesn't.

  Oh...about excommunication...I had never heard that before either. I just couldn't beleive that was true...strange, nobody's heard it? Why would he say that? He isn't the kind of person the invent things....and it just seems so stupid...why copy a Catholic term?
• 

  jgnat

  Maybe your dad has picked up some "local light", or maybe he fell asleep during the service meeting and missed the whole sentence?

  Not knowing if your parent would shun you is a terrible burden for a child to bear. Really, I don't know how JW children live with the pressure. I suspect that many of them come through the experience very strong people. Or they fall apart. Luckily you are a young adult and you can put the whole mess in perspective.
• 

  vitty

  There are much better ways to get your dad to "think"

  While you can still talk to him, why not bring up some good questions ??????
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  Lilycurly

  Well, that's what I tried at first. I even wrote him a letter with the reasons why I had stopped being a JW, he read it once and got rid of it. I heard from my mom that he thought I was making up all those feelings I had bared and that I had just copied most of the things and questions from some apostate site. Wich of course, wasn't true, I had done very little research at that time.

  My mother also frequently asks him questions that are hard to anwer and that are supposed to make one think. His 3 answers are:

  I will research on that (wich he never does, or at least he never shows us the results...)

  Nobody's perfect

  Jehovah will take care of it in time.

  It is getting very frustrating to hear the same parroted answers again and again...that's why we came to the conclusion that what he needed was something that would really rock his whole concept of good and bad. Things are very black and white to him right now, because it is relatively easy for him. He never had to shun, loose a child to the no-blood law or any other difficult stuff...