I Am Sick Of Going To Kid's B-Days !!

by Jeannine 20 Replies latest social relationships

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    The thread started on "An Invitation to a Wedding" with all its talk on manners got me thinking.....

    Is there any other childless person out there that is tired of being invited to the birthday parties of friend's children? I am childless by choice. I have a large family with many kids, visiting me, making a huge mess of my house, bugging me for money to go to the store, waiting for me to drop off their gifts every year, playing pranks on me (I'll get those little suckers back), walking around with my shoes on, peeing in my bed, etc. I love the kids in my family and have always attended their functions/parties. So, my life is full of kids and all that comes with them. For the kids I know and love, I will always attend their parties and pretend that there is no other place I'd rather be, for their sake. I have no problem compromising my lifestyle in exchange for a good relationship with the kids in my family. They are great....although they are a pain in the butt. So, I am not anti-kid, by any means.

    Now, my problem: I have a friend that has three kids. She has invited me to each of their birthday parties since they turned 1 yr. Her kids are now 8, 10, 16 yrs old. Once every few months I am expected to show up at a B-day, bearing gifts. I usually give the kids money. I am so sick of being invited to friend's children's birthday parties. I don't have kids !!! I don't like playing "pin the tail on the donkey". Geesh. I was just invited to her 16 yr olds B-day party last month. What do you buy for a 16 yr old? Why is a 16 yr old still getting such child-like parties where the mother pressures her adult friends to attend? The 8 yr olds B-day is coming up in two weeks and I have already been told that the "invitation is in the mail" and to "make it to the party". These parties are NOT fun parties to me. Singing "Happy Birthday" three times a year to kids I BARELY know is NOT my idea of a good time. It is getting to the point where my friend calls me and I cringe thinking that another party is being planned. If I tell my friend that I can't go to the party, she lays a HUGE GUILT TRIP on me that is unbelievable. I will then hear, "Well, I am not inviting my family because we aren't talking, so I am only inviting people that I think care about me." Or, "I really need you to come to this party because I didn't invite too many people". Or, "So-and-so didn't come to the last party....so that told me who my real friends are. Oh, umm, I'm sorry...did you say that you couldn't come to the next party?" Yes, this girl is unbelievable !! So, I usually go to the stupid parties out of PITY. BTW, this friend is just a "phone-friend", so I really haven't gotten to know her kids over the years. I only see her and them at these boring parties. Should I just ask her to stop inviting me? I am tired of making excuses not to go, or showing up to drop off a gift and leaving after a few mintues. She lives out of town and it is a long drive to get to her house. Thanks.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Sorry, but I got a chuckle out of this because it brought back a memory. I was in a restaurant once when a man and woman came in and waited to be seated. There was a kid's b-day party going on there at the same time. The woman says to the hostess in a loud voice, "Don't seat us near any kids! If I wanted to listen to screaming bastards I wouldn't have hired a babysitter!"

    I don't have any kids either but my sisters have enough kids and grandkids to start a small town. Trying to keep track of all of them is enough to make my head spin. I can't imagine having to keep track of the kids of friends as well. Good thing I don't know many people. Maybe my having been a JW was good for something after all.

    W

  • defd
    defd

    Jeanne

    I have the solution for ya!

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Yes defd but then we'd have to live forever in paradise with no sex, now who wants that?

    Is there any other childless person out there that is tired of being invited to the birthday parties of friend's children?

    YES!!!! Me too!!!!!! I hate going to b'days. We have nephews etc. It is excrutiating. IMO kids b'days should include their friends, not me. Why is it fun for the kid to sit still in the same room for a long afternoon while a bunch of adults are staring at him for several hours?

    We are all jammed into a dining room so tiny I cannot do any hand gestures w/o knocking over someone's food. Sitting on hard folding chairs for 5 hours....I am not kidding....that's how long they are. I look forward to going to the bathroom to break up the monotony and to get the feeling back in my butt.

    Sitting and watching a 1 yr old open gifts is not a treat at all. The kid is in a cake-induced stupor and plays with the wrapping paper rather than the expensive toy inside it. Kid already has approximately a jillion toys anyway.

    And don't forget my ILs who are in a giant competition to see who can spend the most cash on the kid. How exciting of a way to spend 5 hours plus traveling time, a gallon of gas, and my hard earned cash.

    Hee, hee, I've stopped attending. Suggested to husband to send a savings bond for college + small toy. I've stopped attending some adult relatives' bdays too, because they are equally as excrutiating. I just go out for a cappuccino then come home and take a nice bubble bath instead.

  • luna2
    luna2
    I have the solution for ya!

    LOL @ defd! Actually, though, it's not a bad solution. I am still clinging to the JW way of not celebrating much of anything as of yet. I don't want to get caught up in that celebration trap just because I'm not a JW any more. I don't want others to feel that they have to send me cards or give me presents either. I'm not quite sure how to handle this, but I'm going to have to make some sort of announcement or something to my family when I finally get around to discussing my defection from the Tower. Not that I'd mind sending a little something to my nephews and my niece now and again, but I don't want it to get ridiculous and become a burden.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    I have the solution for ya!

    I have to admit, that was one of the attractions in joining the JWs - not having to buy gifts for people anymore.

    W

  • Jeannine
    Jeannine

    Speaking of how long parties are: I just got an invitation to my great-nephew's 4th B-day (Oh, what a joy this is going to be). The invitation says that the party is from 12:00pm to 6:00 PM. Six freaking hours !! I won't stay longer than 1 hour, but what the hell are these people going to do for 6 hours at a 4yr olds B-day party? This party is the day after my friend's kid's party that I mentioned in my first post. So, I have back-to-back days of watching people playing "musical chairs". Please parents, spare your childless friends and stop inviting them to your kid's parties. They are not fun. We will not be offended if you don't invite us. Kids' parties are for kids, not for adults that have choosen not to have kids. Spare us. You give us invitations with good intentions. We appreciate your intentions. Yet, your invitations puts us on the spot to either go to something we don't want to go to, or at least feel bad for not going.

  • upside/down
    upside/down
    not having to buy gifts for people anymore

    a trait of "true christians"?

    or a tight ass?

    u/d(of the every good GIFT come from...class)

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    Twenty hard-core years as a faithful Dub...

    Gifts recieved from my loving brothers.....0

    Gifts given to unappreciative ingrate greedy bastard JW's....too many to list.

    u/d

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    a trait of "true christians"?

    or a tight ass?

    I am not a tight ass when buying gifts for myself.

    Just wanted to make that clear.

    W

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