Well, lola28, I would hardly say that what you did was stupid. One can only bottle up emotions for so long before they need to be manifested and put into action. However, depending on the temperament of the "sister" that you vented to, you odds of being called on for a "shepherding call" have increased dramatically.
I did something very stupid last night.
by lola28 31 Replies latest jw friends
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lola28
Prophecor,
Sometimes in the mornings when I'm by myself I too think "What if it is the truth?". And then I remember this board and all of the things that I have read here. I think of everyone that has been so hurt by the society, and then the sadness just wahes over me because I know, I know that this couldn't possibly be the truth. But I always second guess myself and then I'm back at square one.
lola
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GetBusyLiving
:But I always second guess myself and then I'm back at square one.
Lola, and all you lurkers, do yourselves a favor and read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz, and "Who Wrote the Bible", by Richard Friedman. Seriously, you can set yourself free of second guessing with research. It's worth it.
GBL
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Billygoat
GBL,
Lola, and all you lurkers, do yourselves a favor and read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz, and "Who Wrote the Bible", by Richard Friedman. Seriously, you can set yourself free of second guessing with research. It's worth it.
I have to agree with reading Crisis of Conscience". It was the clincher for me. I knew without a doubt that it was a cult after I read that book. I have never questioned "the truth" anymore after that and I've never been back to square one. I question what IS truth, but I know without a doubt, they do not have it! The freedom that comes with that is breathtaking.
Andi
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prophecor
GBL & Billy Goat, I strongly concur that the reading of Crises of Conscience is essential to recovery, in an effort to try and be certain that a dear trusted friend here on the board gets an opportunity to get some salve for her wounds, I sent mine out, my personal copies, that as well as In Search of Christian Freedom. But I find it's required to go thru those books as often as we were drilled with the 5 meeting a week. Lola, you're in a large metropolitan area, the books are invaluable to your recovery and could be gotten easily. I wish you all the best. This could come to be one of the greatest things to have happened to you. Either way, I wish you a life of success in your journey out.
Arthur
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Es
You know what hun i dont think you did anything stupid at all you were only telling the truth. As others have said worst case senario the elders will call just tell them your not interested. You may actually feel better getting that off your chest. I know i did
All the best hun
es
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MidwichCuckoo
Since when is being honest classed as stupid?
Well put - no point in living a lie or lying to yourself.
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colorado5591
I told her I had lost faith in all of the elders in our hall and in our congregation. I told her I didn't feel part of the congregation and that I had realized that the brothers and sisters in the hall only cared numbers, I told her that the reason I don't go to meetings is because everytime I walk into the hall I feel like I am going to be sick. I told her I could not stand being in a room full of people that profess to care about you but will drop you faster than a bad habit the moment you fail to put in ten hours a month
Wow that sounds like a great setting a sister could use in her talk at theocratic ministry school! Especially if her topic to work on happens to be "settings"
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crinklestein
Lola, whether you fade gradually or leave all at once you will lose everyone anyway. Only you can really know what is best for you to do so I will just advice you to anylise your feelings about the religion itself, NOT your friends in the religion. You are in the religion because of the religion, not because of "The Friends". You have already seen how quickly they turn on you for missing a few meetings so you can see how conditional that friendship is. And be very thankful that you didn't accept that guy's offer for you to work for him because the minute you start slipping in meeting attendance he will hold your job hostage. I wonder how many people that go themselves into these situations ever successfully sued their JW employer for breaking labor laws like this. Taking that job will garauntee that everyone at the hall will know everything about your performance at the job, your salery, all of your personal details at work, not to mention that he will bring work up at the meetings and bring the meetings up at work. You will be in hell.
But anylise your feelings in the belief structure of the religion. If the policies and dogma go against how you feel it should be in your heart then leave it. Staying will only cause you stress and agony as you work against the very nature of your being. Anylise the actions of "The Friends" and elders and compare it to how they SHOULD be acting. If it's not right then that tells you the type of people you're dealing with.
Take a look at the proven scandals in the organization and look how the Society deals with it. You will find that it is most unchristian. And realise the fact that by staying in a religion that covers up illegal activities in the attempt to protect its name and public image you are thereby condoning those actions and choosing to associate those actions with YOUR good name. You will, in effect, share in their blood guilt just like they love to say how "Christendom" will all share in the blood guilt of false religion.
You will need to do some serious soul searching but I would advice you that, whatever your end results are, that you act upon what your heart tells you. NOT what these so called friends tell you. Good luck.
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rebel8
Hi again Lola, that is bad. But then again, you are probably better off for not having worked for them. (I did, and what a mess!! An elder and MS had gone into business together and hired me. Paid me only half the agreed salary, never paid me agreed commission, and actually took several turkeys I had won from a vendor as a sales prize.....immediately prior to my planned layoff date...they knew I was counting on having those turkeys to feed myself on unemployment.....they called the vendor and rescheduled the turkey delivery for my day off, then had a big JW party at their house with the turkeys. When I confronted them they didn't even bother to apologize or rectify it. I said I was not going to have enough $ to eat and they shrugged their shoulders!!! This was an elder!)
As far as a plan goes, the only fairly reliable way to keep them from bothering you at work would be to write a registered letter to the KH telling them not to contact you at your home or workplace. That will probably get you DFd though. Alternative is to tell them when they show up or call. Is this a place where the general public comes in usually? If not you could use the other suggestion given to ask your supervisor to screen out unwanted visitors.