lola
That was NOT stupid. It was honest, and she is your friend. How could you not break down? I'm glad you told the truth, that you are discouraged. They can't get you for that.
It is ethically wrong for them to bother you at your place of work. Since your boss is so understanding, perhaps you could do this. Plan to tell the 'brothers' that your boss gets extremely irritated if you conduct personal business at work, and they mustn't visit you there. Get him to collaborate with you. He can put on a blustery, 'worldly' attitude if they come by,,, you know "How DARE you come to MY place of business and bother my employees! That is MY time, and personal business belongs at home!". That gives you an out.
Plead discouragement and depression (well, that is true, right?) if you can't avoid them.
I remember well how I felt at 21. I knew that there was 'something wrong', that there was no love, much corruption, and I did not belong at the KH. Still, I was afraid that they might still have the 'truth'. I prayed to Jehovah, and told him this (I swear this is really what I did, tho I don't remember the exact words),,, "You know that my heart is true, but I can't believe that the truth is with these people who are such hypocrites. If Armageddon comes, you can read my heart and know that I only want to do what is right. If I must die, there is nothing I can do to change that, but I cannot continue to follow these people that I think are false prophets." (Actually, I made this prayer when I was 26.) After some time, the brainwashing faded, and I knew that I no longer believed anything they taught. That prayer really helped me feel better though, because if Jehovah really hears our prayers, I felt he would read my heart and know I sincerely wanted to do what was right. ((((HUGS))))
This is the most difficult time, but you will make it through, and come out the other side, healed from their spiritual abuse. Continue to be strong, and remember, there is a whole wide world out there, with some really lovely, fun people, for you to explore. There are many folks who would just love to be your friend, and they will find you.
tal