I did something very stupid last night.

by lola28 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  lola28

  
  
  
  
  

  She called me at 8:30pm and I was still at work and what is the first thing that she says to me? She did not aks me how I was but she did ask me if I was a workaholic and if I had another god (meaning I am materialistic). I told her I was working and that I would call her when I got home.

  So when I got home I called her and she began to ask me why I had decided to stay away from meetings, I thought I would be able to talk to her with out breaking down but I could not. I told her I had lost faith in all of the elders in our hall and in our congregation. I told her I didn't feel part of the congregation and that I had realized that the brothers and sisters in the hall only cared numbers, I told her that the reason I don't go to meetings is because everytime I walk into the hall I feel like I am going to be sick. I told her I could not stand being in a room full of people that profess to care about you but will drop you faster than a bad habit the moment you fail to put in ten hours a month.

  She told me how sorry she felt about the way I was feeling and I could tell that she really was feeling hurt. So what happens next? Do you think I should get ready for the elders to start calling me? Should I have kept quiet about the way I was feeling?

  Lola
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  ButtLight

  Keep the deadbolt locked, and dont answer the phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  Chia

  Prepare yourself. Worst case scenario, your friend will talk to the elders and encourage them to give you a shepherding call because you're feeling down. Best case scenario, she'll try and encourage you herself. But I'm quite sure she'll think of herself as a real friend by telling the elders your situation so they can give you "encouragement." Never mind that if they were really interested they would've stopped by without having to be told.
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  prophecor

  It's not your fault that you feel that way. I wish you the best. You can always be yourself here, you have to wear masks in the Kingdom Hall.
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  rebel8

  Yes, probably the elders will call next.

  So she basically said, "I'm sorry YOU feel that way"--the problem being YOUR feelings instead of HER actions or those of the congregation? She may be feeling hurt herself, but it's more her feeling sorry to learn you are now among The Walking Dead (in her mind), than it is her taking it personally--my guess anyway.

  Should you have done something differently? There's no right or wrong choice. It's fine to share your feelings with others.

  BTW I think it was very rude of her to call you at work and ask if you are materialistic or worshipping another god. Honestly!
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  lola28

  
  Okay so what should I do, the brothers and sisters know where I work and I would hate to have them stop by. They wont go to my house because my mother actually kicked a sister out of our house a few years ago so I don't think they will go there.

  I need a plan.

  lola
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  jgnat

  Can you talk to your supervisor about it? You don't have to explain the whole WT thing. Just say you have been harrassed lately by some cult members and you are afraid they are going to show up at work. You don't want to be a disruption to the office. Is there some kind of signal or screening the office can set up if these people come over so that they can be discreetly and quietly escorted out of the building?

  Also, don't ever apologize for speaking from your heart. It felt good, didn't it? At least until the "sister" told you she was sorry. Yes, things might get difficult for a while for you, but you added some fresh oxygen to our old world. Good going, girl.
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  Chia

  I'm not familiar with your situation but it doesn't sound to me like you've done anything "wrong". In a way, this is the best position to be in. If you're discouraged because of the way the elders have treated you, and you decide that you just want to be left alone, they really can't disfellowship you for that. They are there to help the flock, not to mistreat them and abandon them. They've let you down.
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  GetBusyLiving

  Hi Lola,

  Chances are you are going to lose this friend. Dubs just don't get it. They will say they understand, but they just want you to start going back to meetings. That's the answer to all life's problems - meetings, field service, personal study of Watchtower publications. Do you plan on ever doing that again? If not, I seriously advise you to take a look at your long term happiness and stop letting the Dubs jerk you around. It's got to happen sooner or later.

  At the very least you will have the support of your mom; a lot of people including myself never had that when they chose to officially leave the JW cult.

  GBL
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  lola28

  Rebel you want to hear worse? A while back I was in need of a job and there are several brothers that own their own buissneses yet not one of them ever offered me a job. I finally answerd an add for the job I have now (which I love). At the memorial a brother took me aside and asked me if I would be intrested in a job I told him I had a job that I was happy with and had no need to go elsewhere. He actually asked me how much I was making, if I had medical insurance, vacation and so on.He said that if I worked for him I would never have to miss the meetings. I told him I was not going to talk about work and money at the memorial and that I was not going to to give up my job anytime soon.

  Now everytime I see him he asks how my job is and reminds me that he would love for me to work with him, not only that but he has also taken it upon himself to "visit" me at work.

  lola