Being pressured to goto meetings,

by crankytoe 42 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Cognitive_Dissident

    hey Crankytoe, as Oroborus21 said, try to get a feel for ALL of the doctrine and practice that is involved with being a JW before you commit to meetings, or for sure before going over the questions for baptism(depending on how quickly they want to move you along). Disfellowshipping is definitely one that is rarely, if ever discussed in any detail while you're still studying but which is the whip that is forever at your back once baptized. And keep in mind that right now, since you are only studying, you are given much greater latitude to ask questions and disagree. If you should choose to go to meetings, as you attend more and more, the expectation that the others in the Kingdom Hall have of you will go up. With more exposure to "the truth", your thinking is expected to start aligning itself with the group mind. And the longer you're around, any questioning or disagreement becomes evidence that you are not one of the sheeplike ones that who will become a member of the "great crowd" that will survive Armageddon.

  • PaulJ
    Is there anything I can say to get them to accept that I'll go when/if I feel like going?

    Unfortuantely not. They will do whatever they can to get you to a meeting. Its hard to talk objectively in this case, because IMO you should tell them never to come back. They are extremely dangerous.

  • out of the box
    out of the box

    I laughed at this post from Buster. But, it is TRUE!

    I'll tell you how get them to ignore you:

    - Commit yourself completely to their cause - go to the hall, get baptised, the whole enchilada

    - THEN tell them you don't feel like going and that you have some doubts about this whole 'Faithful and Discrete Slave' thing

    They will leave you alone with a vehemence.

    They are only trying to get you IN. They don't care about keeping you there once you're in! Go to an Al-Anon meeting and learn how NOT to be CO-DEPENDENT and how to use the word NO when you are uncomfortable with ANYTHING in YOUR life!

    out of the box

  • NeonMadman
    all I wanted was a bible study, now we're at the point where we read 2 chapters in knowledge book

    If you stop and think about that for a second, you'll realize that you never did actually get the Bible study they offered you. You just got indoctrination sessions in one of their books, with occasional references to out-of-context proof texts in the Bible.

    For a laugh, you could try telling them that you are not interested in studying their extra-biblical literature, and that you'd like an actual Bible study like they offered you when they first called. Preferably an inductive Bible study using the historical-grammatical method of interpretation. If their eyes don't glaze over after that, you should probably just do what so many others here have suggested and tell them, politely but firmly, that you no longer wish to continue your studies with them and would appreciate it if they would not call again.

    Then, if you really still want to study the Bible, find a class, church or group where the Bible is actually studied, verse by verse, in context. There are plenty of such groups around.

  • inquirer

    Nathan Natas

    Q.: Is there any tactful way of getting them to back off?

    A.: No.


    LOL LOL LOL Love the simple answer! :D

  • inquirer


    "Any obstacles are my personal business, which is something I will not share with you. I know where the kingdom hall is - If I attend I'll do so when I'm good and ready. Nagging and pressuring me are the best way to ensure I won't come. I don't wish to discuss this subject again!"


    (I see it for all kinds of situations -- not just JW's!)

  • inquirer

    sunshine2 R

    Hi crankytoe,

    as you have probably read in all the posts above, they will never let go. The Watchtower Society preaches, that interested ones have to brought to the organization as soon as possible.........the meetings are their lifeline ........ it's a MUST.

    You will soon find out that what you are studying is not the Bible, but the Society's interpretation of it. You will be studying their literature, as in the book you are studying now, the book they study in their bookstudy (don't know which one it is at the moment), their Watchtower, their books for the Service Meeting and so on.....for any research, of course, they will use many other Watchtower books.

    They will make you believe, that their's is the only true religion and that you will be damned if you don't join......I don't want to discourage you or tell you not to study with them, but beware of what this "study" all includes, if you were to do it their way......

    Bible study 1 hour plus 30 minutes preparation for it

    Bookstudy 1 hour plus 30 minutes prepartaion for it

    Sunday Meeting 2 hours plus 30 minutes preparation for it (minimum)

    Theocratic Meeting almost 2 hours plus 1 hour preparation for it

    and to go along with the national average of monthly preaching, which is about 10 hours a month, at least 2 hours a week, plus preparation for 30 minutes or so.

    That alone is 11 hours every week, not counting the driving time from and to the meetings and the time spent there "visiting".......and I'm sure you heard about conventions and assemblies.

    So beware!


    inquirer -- WOW! i'VE NEVER LOOKED at it like that before! If you add it all up in total for everything on a per month basis you get:

    10 hours preaching
    44 hours studying books (plus preparation)
    = 54 hours/month!

    FAROUT! Those Jo Ho's are very busy boys and girls aren't they! And Jehovah will not be very pleased with you if you are 1 hour off each week! Oooooh! No paradise for you young man!

    I think I did my maths right.... 11 * 4 = 44 + 10 = 54... Yeah.... That's extreme!

    54 * 12 months = 648 hours studying mags and preaching per year! AND.... loving it! (Get Smart. :D )

  • Stealth

    Tell them that they offered you a FREE home bible study. And that is what you are interested in at this time. Ask them, is it really FREE, or is attending the meetings a requirement for the FREE home study?

    Ask them, how long will they continue with the FREE home study if you decide to never go to meetings?

    Then ask yourself, is it really FREE?

  • Check_Your_Premises

    Here is the basic approach I am going to use. My wife is a newly dunked dub, and my kids have been hearing the propaganda for about 3 years now. I figured out it was a cult about 6 months ago. Now the big deal lately is the kids want to know why I don't go to the meetings. They think I am some sort of jerk or something!

    "The Bible says you have to go to all the meetings" they tell me.

    Here is the rough outline on our upcoming Bible study.

    Go through Jw explanation. (am I missing anything?)

    Heb 10:24-25 "...not forsaking the gathering together..."

    Doesn’t say regularly. It doesn’t give you a number of times to get together. It doesn’t tell you how often. It doesn’t even say you have to. It says don’t forsake.

    Heb 13:17 " submissive to those taking the lead..."

    Does this mean, "do whatever they say?" Does it mean you have to obey them if you disagree with them on somehting that isn't explicitly stated in the Bible?

    Nowhere does it say you have to go to 5 meetings. I think we have to be careful about saying the Bible says we have to do this or that when it doesn't.

    A bunch of don't add or subtract from the word of God verses

    Deut 4:2, Deut 12:32, Prov 30:6, Matthew 15:6-9, 13


    Why do you think I would be uncomfortable saying that? I will ask. (This opens up an opportunity to cite Matthew 7:1-4 "judge not lest ye be judged" and John ?:? "...he among you without sin cast the first stone" this demonstrates a more non judgemental approach as oppposed to the "if you are not a jw you are from Satan" approach)

    I am just saying I don't think that is what the Bible says. I also think we have to be careful about thinking such things are what is most important. The danger is that we might think our salvation is because we do some required duty like going to meetings.

    Ephesians2:8-10 " grace you are saved lest any man should boast"

    Without HIM, all of our works of righteousness are as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).


    So you see it is not that gathering with other Christians isn't important, or that such things don't help build up our faith. I just think it is not a good idea to say the bible says we have to go to 5 meetings when it doesn't. I also think we have to be very careful that we don't think such things can save us, or make us better then people who don't go to 5 meetings. When we do that we are saying that Christ's sacrifice wasn't enough. We are saying that we could save ourselves and we didn't even need him!

    Galatians 2:21 "...if justified by law, then Christ died for nothing..."

  • googlemagoogle

    Q.: Is there any tactful way of getting them to back off?

    A.: back off.

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