Confrontation times 2, My lovely weekend ahead. Any thoughts .......

by run dont walk 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • lawrence

    run- Had a wife cheat on me, left her. Had another wife cheat on me, I jumped the guy, almost killed him. She left him, I left her. Looking back, why go to jail for someone you no longer love? Leaving them is more than enough, especially when they call later and want to hook up. Sorry!

  • talesin
    Leaving them is more than enough, especially when they call later and want to hook up. Sorry!


    It musta felt so good when your mom said that. Validation,,, yes, that helps a LOT. I hope you and mom have a good visit, hugs and tears and all!

    I just caught this thread, and am really hoping you didn't visit that guy. After all, it was SHE who betrayed your trust. He was just an instrument for her to take her anger out on you. Think about it ... I felt the same way about the women my ex toyed with (though he never actually 'cheated', he did the emotional cheating thing,,, did you? hmmm), but I had to realize that it was HIM who I should be angry at,,, after all, he is the one who pledged his loyalty to me,,, not them.


  • thom

    My wife cheated on me and I knew the guy. I know too that he was scared to death what I was going to do to him. But instead of beating him to a pulp, I've done nothing other than be perfectly friendly with him. I know it confuses him and even after 2 1/2 years he still has no idea how to take me.
    I think he and she seeing me doing well, have a much nicer lifestyle than they do, and moving on and dating and having a good time, have had a much bigger impact than if I had lost my temper on him.
    By hitting him you might just be "proving" to them that you are exactly what she's probably saying about you anyway. But taking the high road will give people so much less to say about you in a negative way. Plus, jail isn't going to help your life one bit.
    I hope you can move on as quickly as possible and spend your time thinking about a new girl and new good times and a new future for yourself, because it's all possible if you let it.

  • Apostanator

    I know your pain and anguish. My ex-wife cheated on me with a close " friend " of mine. When she came home after a weekend with him, she looks at me and says " You can divorce me now " !!! They had something going on behind my back. Man, I was made a fool of. One night I had a few drinks and a couple pills and I was off to his apartment with my knife and bat. I was going to mess him up bad !!! However I stopped over my mothers house on my way to his place and she talked some sense into me. She didn't want me to be in jail while the two lovebirds were roaming around free.

    That guy never knew how close he was to getting messed up. It took a while, but I have learned that you can't make anyone be with you if they don't want to, wife or not. I took care of the problem, I divorced her and went my seperate way. That was ten years ago and I am a much better person now. Please don't do anything foolish, you don't want to put yourself in any more anguish.

  • cyd0099

    I ran into the man my (then) wife had left me for. It was a library of all places and I had my toddler son in my arms.

    This guy was over a head taller than me and trained in the miliatry. A knife fighter my ex had informed me. I was quiet, I never raised my voice or made any movement toward him, BUT...

    I learned later that as he related his side of the story, he had never been so scared of another man in his life. When I feelddown I remember that story and it gives me more satisfaction, more power than if I had struck him.

    There are always better ways to get revenge...

    cyd of the "baby-totin' badass" class

  • Es

    wow you have a lot on your plate dont you, I know you prob dont want to hear it but perhaps it may be better to leave the guy out of it it may not have been his fault, its your wifes and really your taking the ulitmate revenge on her by leaving her. As for your mum i think thats lovely what she did,better late than never hey. Hope all goes well as can be expected es

  • DazedAndConfused

    What Frannie said!!!

  • rebel8

    I guess it's pointless to comment at this point, since you said the next time you'll return to the forum is after the wrestling match. In case you do though........

    I know you women may not understand, but for a guy it is very hard to let it go, He interfered with my life and left it in pieces

    I do recognize that it is hard to let go. I have a hard time letting some things go myself. I would have extreme difficulty if my husband cheated and would want physical revenge. I don't blame you for wanting it.

    Hopefully I'll realize it's not worth it and just walk away, but I sincerely doubt it. I have to hit him at least once, to have some closure and inner peace.
    No, you do not "have to hit him at least once to have some closure and inner peace". Violence does not get you either of those things; the passage of time and working through your feelings does. Sorry, violence is not a shortcut to inner peace.
  • 144001
    Also....and this is coming from a guy who used to work security in mosh pits and loves a good I'm not a wussy..but consider this, I'm screwed for life from getting hit on the head wrong. I have seizures for life. So if he gets a shot in, it could mess you up. Seriously. It just ain't worth it, i've been in lots of scraps, but you never know what the other guy can or will do. Period Even if you are fully justified. - Avishai

    Avishai does an excellent job of illustrating a legal concept known as the "eggshell plaintiff rule." This rule is applied in all states in the USA, which is simply that you take the plaintiff as you get him. If the plaintiff happens to have a medical condition that causes death or serious injury in response to a light blow to the head, and his condition was so rare that he is the only person on the planet who suffered from it, too bad. The law puts the risk of this sort of thing occurring on the person committing the tort or crime. The fact that the condition was rare is irrelevant; those who violate the law bear the risks incidental thereto, including the possibility that the person they harm is extraordinarily prone to certain injuries.

    Throwing punches never solves a problem, but it can and does create new ones. I think this post is too late to prevent the confrontation that was described at the outset to this thread, but if it's not too late, please stop and think before you act. No one is worth throwing your life away over.

  • Pistoff


    Once you hit him once, how do you know you can stop?? Rage can be uncontrollable.


    Do yourself a favor; face the fact that your anger at your wife may kill this guy.

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