Hi K. I only got it from having lived it and am living thru it. My mom was the closest person I had as regards a parent. Pop was just off in his own world, somewhere. He knew very well, it seemed how to relate to the girls, my sisters, but when it came to me, I was like a Rubiks-Cube gone scattered. He didn't really know how to relate to a son.
I was my mother's child, not my father's ( emotionally speaking ) and we we're often at odds with each other from almost infancy. I was always trying so desperately to get close to him, would do virtually anything to please him, however to no avail. It didn't take me long to realize that there surely must've been something wrong with me.
Mother was the only asset that I had, the only other adult that I could bond with. So she quickly became my life line. He was often emotionally un-available for her as well, so we fed off of each other. We nursed each other's neediness, without my even realizing that it was going to present problems in my adult life inthe future.
I learned later on in my life, how he'd come to suffer the same fate as a child from his not having a good relationship with his father. They were never close, and subsequently, he too was a momma's boy. Though I would've never guessed it in a million years, he seemed so stand-offish, I never really could associate his being so close to his mother or anybody, for that matter.