How long is too long? (page 2)

stillajwexelder

only you knoe in your heart how long, too long, is

Elsewhere

What do you believe the benefits of being married will be?

wanderlust- I asked him. He says he'll never want another woman, I'm his soulmate. And that we're together forever. Just not Mr. and Mrs. Although he does on occasion introduce me as his wife, which I don't get.

And men say women are hard to understand!

Cupcake

i meant the respect to make an honest woman outta you. Proud to be his better half, his wife, his companion for life. not just a g/f. How mush older is he? and yeah he may have had some sour relationships in the past. but just as you say your getting older so is he and thus set in his own ways. Is he in agreement with living together? what wiould happpen if you were no longer available for him as far as doing things together spending the time together as you do... when one is married they wake up together share everything together and go to sleep together. if he's not getting that..... dont you think he will miss that and want that? i may be talking a bunch of jebb myself im going threw some drama now but I had to finally say after 2 years im just wasting my time we are on one road going two different ways in life in a complete opposite direction going no where, were two people who care that much for one another should be. Joint ... together... as Man and Wife

Insomniac

Elsewhere- we will live together, as people in love are meant to do. We will have made a public declaration of our commitment, in front of our friends and family. Incidentally, I would be on his insurance plan- admittedly, not a reason to wed by itself, but it would sure help my situation. Also, I want respect, not to be considered a cheap shackup. I sincerely apologize to anyone who lives together without marriage; if it works for you, cool. But I couldn't bring myself to do that.

LittleToe

In this age of equality, have you come right out with it and asked him to marry you?

Ya needn't wait until a leap-year, ya know?

wanderlustguy

In this age of equality, have you come right out with it and asked him to marry you?

He's right.

Insomniac

LT- Geez, I need to hang on to some of my childish fantasies! I told him early on that since I asked him out in the first place, he'd have to be the one to propose. I can be maddeningly traditional at times, I admit.

ticktockticktock...still waiting for him to say those four little words.

LittleToe

OMG, it is the 21st century, ya know?

We confess - malekind has not evolved much and we still are ignorant of female expectations, prefering the status quo as it "seems to be going ok". This often gets us in hot water, or in the case of Simon, we get left holding the handbag

rebel8

Why is marriage important? I used to say that very thing. It shouldn't be important to complete a ceremony in order to legitimize a relationship. It's the committment that's important, and that is something not conveyed by a ceremony.

Then I got married. It does socially convey a sort of legitimacy and prestige. I'm not saying it should, I'm just saying it does. People seem to think of me as a grown up now, while before I was looked at as sort of younger, less mature, less stable, etc. It's dumb, but that's what happens. I was tired of all that and am relieved of it now. That's not a strong enough reason to get married, but it is a reality of our society today.

Also, I do think a part of me is glad to join the club rather than to be on the outside, like I was when I was a JW. I have a strong sense of feeling left out of things and it bothers me. This might be why I am enjoying being a married member of society rather than a single person. Again, probably not a valid reason on its own to get married, but it is a reality of my life.

I can totally appreciate a person who's had a difficult divorce to not want to get remarried. The thing that makes me wonder about Insomniac's situation is that they don't live together full time. If they get along so well and it's important to her, then why bother to keep separate residences? You can accomplish so much more financially if you share homes. It's also pretty cool to share your life with someone full time instead of part time. Seems to me, after almost 7 yrs together, he would be wanting to live together full time by now. But we really don't know his reasons.

How long is too long?

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