first a publisher, now GF wants me baptized by Sept...

by Buck 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  Buck

  Well i made publisher a couple of weeks ago. I shared that story on here. But now Iam getting pressured into being baptized in September. I guess if I miss the Sept date, there will not be another convention till March or May. So Iam having the full court press put on me.

  Ive shared about 75% of my concerns with her and she doesnt understand why that is holding me back. All people have doubts but we have to place our trust in God. Its not God that I dont have trust in.

  But Iam afraid I will cave in just like Ive done before.
• 

  rebel8

  It's not worth it, dude. The pain this cult will cause to you--emotionally and mentally--is not worth any relationship. Just my $.02...
• 

  damselfly

  I am sorry that you are feeling pressured into dedicating your life to this organization. If you have expressed your doubts I don't understand why the pressure would still be there?

  Maybe a better stalling tatic would be to say that you are open to the idea but just need a little more time then sept. to fully know what you are going to do.

  My two cents for the day......the deeper involved you get, the harder it is to get out.

  Take care, Damselfly
• 

  Ellie

  Wow, I think I need to get some lessons off this girl, how to control your man in 3 easy steps!
• 

  Fe2O3Girl

  Welcome to the treadmill. You will never, ever, be able to do enough.

  Let's not even bother to discuss the fact that baptism is supposed to be the outward symbol of your personal and private dedication to God, not something you do to qualify for status.

  Assume you meet your deadline, adn get dunked by September. Well now Brother Buck, your girlfriend can only have status in the organisation through what you do. So, why aren't you a ministerial servant yet? When are we getting a four-door car? When are we having a baby? Why aren't you an elder? Are you going to auxilliary pioneer this month? When are we having another baby? Why can't we have a bigger house? Why aren't you the Presiding Overseer? Why aren't you a Circuit Overseer?

  Do more, do more do more do more........is all you will ever hear from the Watchtower and a girl who wants you to fit their rules.
• 

  Crumpet

  Well your GF evidently wants you baptised so she can marry you.

  I would suggest you let the elders prevent you from getting baptised if you really can't be honest with her and after all if you can't be 100% honest why would you want to marry her and get involved any further.

  You have to go through the book of questions before baptism which happens over several sessions. Get the answers very wrong and they will say you are not ready and she need be none the wiser as to why they said that.
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  blondie

  You could do what one man I know did; studied, got baptized, and that was the last meeting he ever attended. Stayed home, was a good husband and father, but never stepped in the door again, except to attend the Memorial. (never did anything to be DF'd)

  Of course, his wife wasn't happy but she didn't make his life miserable either.

  It is so hard for JW women to find husbands; that is part of this.

  Blondie
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  jgnat

  Now's the time for some personal reflection.

  But I am afraid I will cave in just like Ive done before.

  Why? Who convinced you that you're weak? Have you ever stood up for your beliefs before? As a cure, I think you need to do some heavy reading - away from religious stuff. May I suggest:

  Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L'Amour

  Jaguars Ripped my Flesh by Tim Cahill
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  Scully

  If you get baptized by September, she'll probably expect you to marry her by June of next year.

  This girlfriend of yours clearly has an agenda. The JWs won't allow you to get married unless you're both baptized.

  I'd run like hell and find someone who doesn't henpeck and manipulate you like this.

  Just tell her that YOUR dedication and baptism is between YOU and JEHOVAH, and to mind her own damn business.
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  greendawn

  It's your future and you have the right to say no now and next March or May, it is not even a question of trust in God the jws have nothing to do with God there is no connection between the two. If you are spiritually inclined there are serious religions as opposed to shoddy cults that you can approach.