Damselfly,………………………………..
First off all I apologize for the dots, This forum isn’t compatible with paragraph breaks when typing on a Mac……(I hope the dots at least show up)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………You have experienced a primary cult technique used to brainwash it’s members into thinking you are only normal and accepted within it’s ranks. You were trained to think the rest of society would reject you because of your beliefs and that twisted logic is a major factor in what gave you the fear of rejection. It is also one of the toughest hard-wired programming effects to get over. Realizing and then accepting you have that programmed personality glitch is half the battle…………………………………………………………………......When I left the cult 22 years ago and realized I didn’t fit into the rest of the world, I felt I had two options. Remain in no mans land of no longer being in the controlled comfort zone of a cult and not fitting into regular society, or trying to fit into a world I was brought up to be no part of. The decision was easy to make but very hard to initiate……………………………………………………………………Since there was no internet at the time and I did not know any ex-JWs, I was completely on my own to try and change my life and my life long hard-wired psychological programming. One of the first things I did was join a health club. Within a short period of time I met a group of new friends that invited me to many social functions that helped me learn to socialize in a somewhat normal manner. I also went to a high school reunion and let a few old classmates know I was no longer in the cult and I was ready to have them teach me how to be normal………………………………………………………..Once you let a few people know you need a little help you will be surprised how many “worldly” people will understand, care, and unselfishly help you out. The key here is to experience new things but find the balance of who you are and who others want you to be. Keeping a balance in focus will help you avoid doing new things that are stupid and dangerous. Unfortunately it took me a while to figure that one out. I went to the far side of the balancing scale before settling somewhere in the middle……………………………………………………………………………………….Realizing you are going to make mistakes and then learning form them is just a part of learning who you really are without the control factor of a cult. Just recognizing it is going to take a while will also help. Within time, your fear of rejection will subside to a lower level that you are presently aware of. Being forced to go to strangers doors and sell them cult magazines, having them reject them, and you, helped give you that fear of rejection. It was an unnatural experience and it developed an unnatural psychological fear of rejection within you……………………………………………………………………………………………………Accept the fact you are different, and keeping it in mind will help you work around it. Because of how you were brought up you will always be a little different. There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone is a little broken whether they were raised in a cult or not. Also, reading as much as you can about human psychology will help you realize what happened to you then help you assimilate into a new life giving you a better understanding of people on many levels of social retardation………………………………………………………….Good luck,………………………….Dave
