Unplanned pregnancy?!

by JW83 17 Replies latest social family

  • logical
    logical

    I was unplanned and unwanted, and suffered as a result of it. I was a total mistake. Dont ever hate your kids if they are unplanned its not their fault and its not fair.

  • Netty
    Netty

    I'm such a planner about things, I have to admit I planned both of mine. But all of my parents 5 kids were unplanned. Not sure how that happens. I know it's hard raising kids, even when you do plan them though. Hope all goes well with you.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Rebel8 - yes I am half serious, but then you never know if you really want something until you have it.

    So for the record in my current mind yes if I had to have a child I should like a very effeminate angelic boy - If he decided later on he wanted to be straight and masculine well it would be a struggle not to disown him. Anyway in case you're worrying for the poor, unconceived (or should that be poorly conceived) child it shoudl reassure you somewhat to know that having expressed such views to Mr Crumpet he will also be taking every effort not to make this a reality. So it will probably just remain a twisted dream of mine!

    I'm delighted you find my comments entertaining - there is little more that I would really wish for in this world and I do mean that sincerely.

    Mtbatoon makes a good point re crumpets as there are two sorts: " a light soft yeast cake full of small holes on the top side, eaten toasted and buttered" which I personally find revolting. (Scottish pancakes on the other hand are delicious!)

    The other kind is according to Collins English dictionary "a sexually desirable woman" - as in a bit of crumpet - a slang expression.

    Iggy is correct however in saying that is actually a rendering of my name and I was called crumpet or grumpy crumpy since I was a little girl.

    crumpet x (not the kind with holes in the top)

  • homesteader
    homesteader

    i had two unplanned children who i am very close to now as adults. all your sacrifices will pay off if you love and guide them unconditionally. i'm also raising my unplanned grandaughter who has juvenile diabetes and she has brought such happiness and joy into our lives. not what we had planned for our retirement years but part of life is learning to accept what comes your way.

    Enjoy that baby!!! Celebrate birthdays, blowing out candles, first steps, Christmas, Santa the Easter Bunny, Smurfs, Scooby Doo....whatever pleases you! Makes the whole parenting thing a lot of fun. the time goes by so fast and it gets easier. You might want to look for some parent support groups in your area. Best Wishes

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    JW83-

    Wow, talk about flashback! I found myself pregnant about a year and 1/2 after I had myself DF'd. I was 19 and had just found the real world. I had alot of female problems growing up and was told by 2 doctors I couldn't get pregnant. OOPS, were they wrong! I kinda forgot to tell Kelli's dad I was pregnant. During that time I really missed my siblings, who I had raised till I left. I missed them so badly, I got reinstated. My JW parents talked me into moving back home. I soon realized, after taking a long look at how we were raised, there was no way I was going to raise my child as a JW. After several attempts by the elders to counsel me because of my attitude, it was very easy to be df'd again. I knew it would be hard, but my child was going to have a real life in the real world. Complete with every 'pagan' holiday I could find.

    Even though she was very unplanned, she's been my saving grace. what I did to deserve such a wonderful daughter i'll never know. A couple months after I had her, I had to have a hysterectomy. In her 21 years, she's never been considered unplanned. Some higher power planned her for me. Now, she's a new mom with my angel, who was also a surprise.

    It's hard, especially if you are on your own. Make your own support system. If you are unsure how to meet other moms, call the hospital labor and delivery staff. They are a great resource. Even though it's hard, make time for yourself. Cause if momma ain't happy, no one else is!!

    If your parents are JW, prepare yourself for the guilt trip from hell. Parents will try and use the baby. "if you don't come back to jah, your baby will also die at "A". Nip it in the bud, soon.

    and know that any of us are here for you, too. Let us know how you are!! Like was already said, cherish every moment. They will be gone before you now it.

    shelley

  • JW83
    JW83

    Thanks for all your replies. Yes, there is a Mr. I had been going out with him for 2 months, got engaged, then got pregnant 3 months after that! Then we got married 4 months after we found out! So we had known each other for exactly one year, & going out for 10 months when we got married! Then my daughter was born 4 months later. Talk about whirlwind ... We were both at uni & broke, but I just couldn't terminate, even though we made the appointment. It has been a real learning curve & I can't believe I'm not happy & organised yet - we fight a lot, we're always broke, & I've had to finish uni & go straight to work at a job I hate. I'd love to just spend some time being a mum & growing into the role properly, but my baby is almost 3 already! There's also the whole only child thing ... I think I need a life mentor or something. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent! You're all stars!

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2


    My first was unplanned....I was 19, single, and I had it from my family. Most didn't know until after I brought the kid home. I was a single mom for almost 8 years.

    It wasn't easy, but I was lucky and had the support of my family. My last child was unplanned, but I was married, so it wasn't a big deal. She was actually just early, since we had wanted another one, but was going to wait another year or two.

    Edited to add: Crumpet, none of us can guarantee what our child will grow up to be like. We can give all the love and support and right direction, and they could still grow up to be an a$$hole. That is just a risk of being a parent. You don't have to be single to fear that. Of course I think all my kids are great...but I do wonder sometimes if their personalities will take a turn for the worse when they hit the teen years.

  • not the administrator
    not the administrator
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    thought that was funny. i dont think i know of any planned pregnancies i know mine wasn't and my parents wasn't

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