Does anybody else feel this way? (page 2)

evita

I think it takes a lot of time to regain our spontaneity after leaving the witness world where everything is analyzed and scrutinized. Keep doing what you're doing and one day you will realize that you are having fun and being yourself without even thinking about it. And the feeling that Jehovah is watching you fades also. It also helps to focus on others, try to maintain eye contact with them and really listen with your heart. Hopefully they will do the same which will help to normalize your relationships.

Eva

PaulJ

I HAVE felt like that but not anymore. I believe that Jehovah is a loving and forgiving God, seeing the good in people, not just the bad.

I have good intuition about people, and in the past ive treated people based on that, but now i always try to make an effort not to judge someone until i know them a bit better.

dorayakii

Wonderful! How wise you are.

hehe, JamesT, that sentence reminded me of Master Yoda: "wise you are... heh-heh-heh.. *cough cough* *haaack*" ... (I jest, i jest)

I wish so badly that i could just experience everday situations as they are rather than said situations significance in some grand biblical drama.

I love the way you phrased this point boy@. It solidified the whole concept in my head. Making a biblical drama out of every aspect of life is one of the mental attitudes we have to deal with when we leave, especially if we were brought up in the troof. It may take varying amounts of time for each individual to stop viewing news reports as somehow fulfilling some biblical prophecy. For example, when i first heard of the south-east asian tsunami disaster, my first reaction unfortunately was not "oh those poor people, i wonder what i can do to help them". Instead, my very first subconscious thought was "i wonder if this is part of the sign that Jesus mentionned in Matthew 24 and Luke 21". I then remembered that i don't believe all that anymore.

It helps me to try and summon deeply ingrained thought process that i know originated with the WTS. It helps to bring them up into my consciousness, analyse them and attempt to discard them. I'm confident that i'll eventually be able to rid myself of the "facts", thought-processes, attitudes and even the grammar and vocabulary that come with having been assimilated at birth.

tetrapod.sapien

hey boy@,

perhaps you should try something drastic like looking into the secular historicity of the bible for yourself? if you can ever get to the point where you can stop thinking that the bible is the word of god, then i would venture that you will be able to get over a lot of the guilt and fear that goes along with some belief systems.

garybuss said in another thread a while back something to the effect that once he got over theism in general, life became more enjoyable for him. it is the same with me. life is huge and beautiful outside of the bible.

whatever route you choose, try reading lots. and best wishes,

TS

rebel8

does anybody feel like god (jehovah) is looking down critically at everything they do?

I did at first but that goes away in time when the brainwashing wears off.

The social stuff improves too with time.

boy@crossroads

Wow, really appreciate everyones advice. especially these hit a chord with me:

The Biblical drama which is stealing away the vibrant aliveness of the moment is simply mental programming. Shift attention away from thoughts and mental interpretations of life, to what is real, to the actual silent sensations of life.

thanks jamesthomas !!

perhaps you should try something drastic like looking into the secular historicity of the bible for yourself? if you can ever get to the point where you can stop thinking that the bible is the word of god,

thanks tetrapod !!

life is huge and beautiful outside of the bible.

I'm just really afraid of letting go of the control the belief in god or the bible has on me !!

EvilForce

Fear is usually caused by the unknown. Dig into secular texts on the bible. Study other religions like Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, Unitarianism. I've found both spirituality and language to be the same. When I start studying another belief system or another language I understand my own belief system and English better and have a deeper understanding of them. Make sense?

jimakazi

does anybody feel like god (jehovah) is looking down critically at everything they do?

Hell no - is the big guy in any postion to be critical [assuming 1 - that he exists and 2- that he cares], just reason it out.

Jehovah supposedly banished Satan and a whole bunch of demons to mix it up with us lowly humans. This is supposed to "prove" humans can't goven themselves without him. Love to know what we could do without any freakin super human interferance. Anyway after stacking the deck like this who the hell is he to be critcal.

His holy spirit seems to be horribly ineffective at communication with the Governing Body of the JW's, they change their story constantly as you will see here, from the "borthers" in Germany basically giving support to Hitlers mob, or some poor souls who some times get a resurection, then won't then will etc.

Even if he does have a sellected mob here on earth you would expect him to demonstate it in some way - glowing letters in the sky should be a doddle to him right. Instead nothing nadda nill zero, silence. Basically to not be a witness but carry their baggage as fear or guilt is such a waste of your time. Get over it and enjoy the freedom.

when you encounter someone you have never met before, how do you view that person?

Just relax, go with the flow, try to not be too innocent, and don't loose all control and hurt people, the old "do unto others as you would have them do to you" is good advice. The people in the world are no where near as bad as Witnesses will have you believe.

zulukai

When I left the Borg a long time ago I was struck by very frightening feelings of unreality, like I was WATCHING life instead of participating in it. I read every newspaper headline of doom and disaster as 'Proof" of the coming END, just as I had been PROGRAMMED to do. People, REAL people with all their warts and quirks hanging out took some getting used to, because all I had ever associated with were cleverly or morbidly deceptive automatons faking it lest their real selves got out. I knew I had been brainwashed and had to make an effort to get with the program of my own reality, life in REAL TIME, living NOW, not in some remote galaxy far, far away. It was a challenge to get a grip on just being free from a scripted response to everything. You already show great promise in that you know there is another way to "be" and you will find it. Take your time. I just started talking with others, asking them about themselves, leaving the door open to experiences and thoughts. One thing I knew I had to do was stop judging everything and everybody the way I was taught. This didn't mean I had to go against my conscience, but that I had to relax and trust the process of the world around me. People are what they are and have absolute right to make their own choices, end of story. Once I got the hang of being myself it was exhilarating. I wish the same discovery for YOU!!!

Markfromcali

life is huge and beautiful outside of the bible.

I'm just really afraid of letting go of the control the belief in god or the bible has on me !!

Belief does not so much control as it does limit your experience and perception of life. Within a simple belief system it allows for a simpler and more limited view, and you can control the variables in that view, but that's not real control - just options in a very limited framework.

To answer the question from your first post, I don't have a view when I first meet somebody. Even if something comes up because they remind me of some past experience of someone similar, I don't really take that too seriously. Then again I am not all that concerned with being social, I kind of leave that to the natural interaction between however I am and however they are as a person, and the life context we find ourselves in.

This kind of relates in that there may be an attempt to control the situation based on some belief about social interaction - which is not to say you need to totally discard that kind of stuff, but the first step is to recognize that mental process for what it is. When you see that clearly you naturally don't take the belief too seriously, and then you might be yourself even if that means not knowing and acting a bit awkward by accepted social standards. There's nothing that says being yourself automatically means you are smooth and cool, but you would attract people who relates to how you actually are rather than a facade, even if there may be a lack of social skill by accepted standards. In fact, if you think about it any possible judgement (since we don't actually know) about you would just be a belief on the side of the other person wouldn't it? Just because you may not have great social skills it doesn't mean you are not worth their time, but to the typical shallow perspective that would be the unconscious assumption. So while I think social skills are certainly useful in life, it's not exactly where truth in relationships are found.

Does anybody else feel this way?

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