it takes time...

googlemagoogle

today i visited a (ex)jw christian forum, the first one i registered to when i needed to talk about my doubts and thoughts. i read my posts from 1 year ago, when i was really deep into research about the bible and the canon in particular.

now it will soon be one year ago that i finally accepted that there is no jehovah. and that the bible is not inspired by anything but human thoughts. i remember the sleepless nights and the arguments i had for the last 3 or 4 years. the talks with the elders. the way they couldn't answer my questions.

i now am an inactive atheist jehovah's witness, who tries to miss as many meetings as possible, but cannot always, due to family. i don't know where i'll be in one year. i believe my situation won't change that soon.

what i want to say is - it takes a effing lot of time and it's a really hard struggle inside to leave the ideas you were taught for years. and when you finally freed your mind, you probably can't understand why a thinking person could still believe in those dumb ideas. however, it took a lot of time for yourself, so it will take a lot of time for someone else too.

don't try to push someone out of the org. that's not the way it works. those still in are not dumb. maybe they already have those sleepless nights. and they just need more time. a lot more time.

greendawn

You are right leaving the JWs is a very delicate operation that can not be interfered with in crude ways. One has to struggle with a powerful religious complex within and a hostile environment outside and a person has to move at his/her unique pace through this process.

rebel8

If it only took you a year to go from jw to athiest, I'd say you're making record time!

googlemagoogle

no, it didn't only take one year...

i actually had unanswered questions all my life, i just always dismissed them. i, as many "religious" people, always had to think in frames, could never think things to the end, as we were told that god watches our inner thoughts.

my way from more or less zealous jw to atheist inactive jw had several steps, each of them took some time, up to more than a year.

1.) not being satisfied with the answers the org provides. the reasoning-book is just plain insulting. also not feeling comfortable about the exclusivity - as i couldn't accept that people who do good, but just think different in a few things would be killed in big A.

2.) looking for alternatives on the web. the "where else could one go" type. basically searching for an unitarian group. i was overwhelmed by the options, like the many groups of bible students, congregation of yhwh, christadelphians and so on. which very much opened my eyes, as i saw that jws are just another group amongst many.

3.) not trusting the wts anymore, but still being a christian. that was probably the toughest time, as i actively wanted to show people where they are wrong... i even wanted to take from the symbols, but didn't have the balls.

4.) finding errors in the bible and trying to explain them away. having endless discussions on forums. reading lots of books on history. dismissing parts of the bible, then accepting the whole collection can't possibly be gods word. that was the most interesting time, and i'm still very much into that.

5.) trying to feel comfortable with the label agnostic, trying for the last time to contact god, but without success. which then lead me to accept the label atheist.

that very last step made me find inner peace. but until that last step it's a pretty hard time. and there's noone around to assist. and as i said - it takes time...

sonnyboy

i now am an inactive atheist jehovah's witness

Isn't that an oxymoron?

googlemagoogle

Isn't that an oxymoron?

yes... but there are more oxymorons in dubworld.

TheListener

I completely agree with you googlemagoogle.

When I first began to really think about what I believed and why I believed it, I had a good friend who really helped me by listening. No jokes, or cult remarks, or stares of disbelief when I would explain why I could or couldn't ask others in my religion many of my questions.

That simple act of listening and being patient and kind helped me to continue on my quest.

For a long long time I figured everything was right but I just didn't understand it.

Then I realized that some of it was wrong but overall it was right. That's around the time I thought I would just die at armageddon and be forgotten (I figured it would be painless and no hell so big deal right).

From there I moved onto, 'hey, this is bs, they're not right about anything beyond being a good person and treating others with love.'

Through it all my spouse has been loving but not supportive (as you can imagine). I can't pull my spouse out; my spouse won't fall out; my spouse needs to realize slowly that things aren't what they seem.

I was a super-dub who judged everyone pretty harshly. I'll have to live with that. I've completely changed; I am very accepting and try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. The freedom to express my mind has made me much happier than I ever used to be.

trevor

googlemagoogle I can sympathise with your situation.

Witnesses that find the courage to question their beliefs find that although their conscious minds can make quite rapid changes, their emotional or unconscious minds take far longer to make adjustments. This is true of all people but more so with Witnesses because they have invested so much in their faith. I reckon that for a long term Witness it takes around ten years, from having doubts to fully leaving and moving on.

GetBusyLiving

Google, your situation sounded so much like my own it was freaky. Sounds like we even started doubting and doing research at the same time! Funny.

GBL

Dennis

This submittal reads like a fiction novel.

it takes time...

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