by Buck 69 Replies latest jw friends
but if I dont start taking "postive growth" I will lose her.
i dont mean this to sound heartless, but...
let her go dude. who knows, maybe not having you in her life will help her start thinking and eventually you can have her without having to share her with the JWs. otherwise, it's gonna be an unpleasant 3-some for you.
why am i reminded of The Country of the Blind?...
but if I dont start taking "postive growth" I will lose her.
buck,
i hate to sound calloused, but is this something that someone who loves you would make you do? why can't she have her religion, and you have your freedom? it kind of sounds like emotional blackmail to me, at this point. sorry.
and welcome to the board.
You'll be expected to put in at least ten hours of door knocking every month. As soon as you take a step like this towards joining a cult (becoming a publisher, commenting at meetings, handling microphones, ect.) you will be pressured by the group to dedicate your life by means of water immersion. At that point you can kiss your rational mind goodbye. It's a spiritual death sentence. You will officially be a part of the BOrg collective and a slave to the Watchtower.
My advice is to avoid becoming a publisher at all cost's. Try to get your chick out of the dubs. If she won't leave.. run like hell and never look back.
GBL
Man you must really love her, buck pm me we'll talk i'm sort of in the same position
Buck, just a little advice...
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's no reason to waste every Saturday morning from now on, for a girl....... Come on..... Sleeping in, cartoons...... Weekend morning sex!!!
DON'T DO IT!!!!
- CAPT. Tad K. Sexington, U.S.S. Layabout
iam not sure what to do.but if I dont start taking "postive growth" I will lose her.
Then lose her. Take it from the wealth of posters on this board, what you're about to give up so that you can possess this prize is not worth it. Ask youself, what type of "growth" is she going through to be with you. You stand to lose your autonomy, self-respect, and put yourself under the authority of a bunch of old goons in Brooklyn so far removed from reality it "ain't even funny. What exactly is she giving up in return to deserve the love you're extending to her.
This situation reminds me of the chorus of an old Electric Light Orchestra song
As long as I say what you want to hear,
do what you want to do,
be who you want me to be
You think that's love,
Well, that ain't love to me.
You'd better ask yourself, is this the kind of love you want from someone you have the expectation of living the rest of your life with.
In high control groups like the Jehovah's Witnesses the attention is only paid to the current leader as long as he is the current leader. Past group leader's teachings are either changed or repainted and their books are soon out of print.
The focus of the current group is the current group. Teachings, meetings, and service are little more than distractions and busywork. The real agenda is the expansion and profitability of the central group by donations, event sponsoring, and real estate development and speculation. Nothing else matters.
Please Buck really think hard. Were not discouraging you from getting involved just for the sake of it.
You may well lose her if you become a Dub anyway, because the pressure and commitment it will demand of you both tends to have a wrecking effect on marriage. My mum and dad couldnt hack the strain anymore and seperated, then divorced, but sadly they are so well matched for each other. It was the whole 'head of the house' 'woman in her place' stuff, plus all the meetings and field service left no family time.
I couldnt have sex with my husband (we married as young dubs) because it just felt WRONG somehow. Meetings put me off it.field service put me off it - can you think of day in the week without a meeting or field service? Nope, neither could I. I went to a sex psychologist to find out what was wrong, but felt guilty about mentioning anything about the dubs (look bad on Jehovah, right?) so I didnt mention any of that stuff - so it never got resolved. We got divorced in the end.
PLEASE, hun, dont do this. I thought I would die when I got divorced it hurt so much, but I lived to have great sex and meet a great partner with no religious hangups.
but if I dont start taking "postive growth" I will lose her.
Don't you think that she is being selfish? You are making a life-altering decision to appease her.
You are ready to commit to a performance-oriented relationship, where you can lose her at any time if you don't meet her standards? You must love her a lot. I am not so sure she reciprocates. Nosferatu makes an excellent point.
Also, you're putting yourself through a lot of crap just for "love". However, the person you love doesn't have the same love for you. The WTS is her first love. Jehovah is her second. The Elders are her third. The congregation is her fourth. Her JW relatives are her fifth. Any children she has will be her sixth. You will be dead last.
I made sure before I married, that WHO I AM was lovable and acceptable to my partner. The confidence and security of being with someone who loves me for me is wonderful. Don't give that freedom up lightly, brother.
