JWs not shunning you after you left the org? (page 2)

love2Bworldly

PaulJ--life is short! You should leave the ball in his court, but first tell him that you do love him and accept him for whatever decisions he makes. Just my 2 cents, because these people are brainwashed and I feel sorry for them.

144001

Although I was born and raised a JW by very zealous parents (Dad was P.O.), I stopped believing while still in elementary school and stopped attending meetins late in my junior high school years (age 14). I was never baptized, but along the way I was "talked to" by the elders, and told to terminate my association with an individual who is still my best friend as I type this post. The threat was that "your name will be announced from the platform and no one will speak to you." Being a rebellious guy, I laughed in their face and told them to "go ahead and announce it because I don't care if that happens." Then they tried to send some of the dopes in my age group to try to convince me of the error in my ways. I was extremely rude to them and let them know what I thought of their cult. I was never DF'd or DA'd.

Purza

When I was DF'd at 19, my best JW friend continued to talk to me (secretly of course). However, when push came to shove she admitted it to the elders and I stayed DF'd longer -- nothing happened to her. My mother continued to talk to me, but that is pretty much it.

Now my same friend is still my friend and we are both inactive and none of my family talks to me (I am no longer DF'd). Although I have sad moments about losing my family, I really think my life has become a lot better since I no longer have their influence in my day to day activity.

Purza

cruzanheart

We're faded, and as we faded the fair weather JW friends gradually disappeared. We're down to two couples who still hang with us -- one couple is almost out themselves, and the other one (an elder and his wife, no less) are usually comfortable with the "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy. We thought we'd lost them this Memorial when the elder tried to get us to come and Chris very forthrightly explained our reasons for NOT coming. He said he's cool with that and still wants us in their lives, so that's good.

I don't run into a whole lot of Witnesses these days, but the ones I have seen talk to me but seem very uncomfortable about it. Or maybe they're just constipated.

Nina

greendawn

My sister and her family never shunned me after I disassociated the only restriction is that I shouldn't be at their house when an elder happens to be there.

Another person who had disassociated (while I was a JW) and later returned to the JWs once invited me to his house for dinner. He said that he was happy to go back and that I should do the same: "what pleasure can you possibly find in that miserable world, I came back and found peace" he told me.

Another came to the supermarket where I worked as a manager and asked me if we could use the machines there to slice a lot of ham and salamis for his engagement party and I said why not.

crazyblondeb

I had my daughter 2 years after DFing. She was the first grandchild. My mom got "a talking to" by the elders for being there. Afterwards, she'd come to see me, but couldn't tell anyone. At the same time my stepdad would come and check on us, but we couldn't tell anyone. Neither one had a clue about the other!

colorado5591

I was bore and raised in the same congregation I was disfornicationfellowshipped from. Many of them "changed my diapers as a babe and were very close to me. Many "sisters" did not seek me out but when they saw me in public or private, expressed their sadness over my situation, but loved me anyways. Then there were those who made it over the top obvious that they were ignoring me and going out of their way to do so, as if I were a leper!

Oddly, the ones who did not totally shun me were those who seemed to be more faithful and genuine. the shunners were those with reputations of being judgemental, hypocritical, gossip mongers.

colorado5591

I think that him knowing you are there for him come what may, serves to weaken the barrier he has built.

Same daned thing happened to me when I was shunned by my father and kicked out of the house. We had a series of tragic events in the family, I did not care how he felt, he needed me and I was there for him. No strings or doubts attached. He realized that I am a good person with unconditional love for my family. It destroyed the walls between us. 2 years later I lost him in death from disease but we were able to come to understand one another and let the past go completley. It was very hard on me when he passed but I had the comfort of repairing our relationship. We forgave ourselves and each other.

now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go bawl my eyes out....I miss him so much still

MerryMagdalene

My mother "knows" she "should" and has tried to several times but never quite managed it. I am the mother of her only biological grandchild and will not allow her to see my daughter while shunning me, so...

Her neighbor, also a JW, is secretly friendly to me as well. She asked me not to tell my mom as she did not want to offend my mom's conscience but confessed she does not believe the disfellowshipping rules benefit anybody BUT my mother cautioned me not to allow my daughter to play there (at the neighbor's) too much as the neighbor might be too nice to turn me away even though not wanting to have contact with me as it would offend her conscience.

Mysterious

There are those that do the not so subtle hand to the side of the face head turn...and there are those that seem to go out of their way to chase me down in public and start a conversation that ultimately includes "how are things" and "we all miss you" in the same breath. If nothing else I would rather be shunned..I cant stand these people and wish them and their little reminders would get out of my life for the most part.

JWs not shunning you after you left the org?

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