by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
The things that i am discovering. After all i'm not the only one in this situation. Last month i found out a fellow worker that I already suspected to be a WJ we start to talk by msn and i sent him some real sites on WJ first he wanted to have certainty who I was than later confirming my situation he said that i was rebel and cut with me.
They don't practice love and they have this feeling of fear....
What's WJ??......WELCOME PETRUSKA.
You know maybe I wouldn't have minded as much, but they didn't compliment me on making it to meetings at all. They didn't start off my saying "Since you and your friends make virtually all the meetings, which we think is awesome, we thought maybe your group could help "new" ones by sitting next to them and taking an interest in them...." They just started off by saying that we were showing worldly traits by having our little cliche and not socializing enough, having saved seats.....
I know this sounds like a little deal, but it really was the straw that broke the camels back. It was a final insult to the hundreds of other insults. My friend who was overhearing this said the color drained from my face and about died when I simply cut them off turned on my heels and said "I never realized Jesus' yoke would be sooo heavy, I guess nothing I do is worthy" and walked off. My meeting attendance from that comment went down to about 35% after that.
LouBelle:
Wonderful and touching post!
You mention about them "dying for you". This is a joke, really. People who don't say hello now and ignore you for various reasons are not going to rise to the occasion at some future date and act heroicly.
I never really expected or wanted them to. I just couldn't stand the pretense.
The lack of love was the trigger to me acting on a number of other reasons for leaving. I would have left anyway, but probably not so soon.
They pay lip service to love. Being that we were dirt poor most of the time I was in the lie we were left out a lot of the times. We did receive a few invitations over the years, I can count them on my hands with fingers to spare. For some reason I expected real friendships to develop after these 'gatherings' but only two sisters really took an interest and became real friends to me personally. The rest were either cliqued up or lonely loners. One friend faded by the time I left and the other just left me completely alone when I began to fade. To this day, if she sees my children who were never baptised she treats them like they're dfd too.
Then there were the jokes and laughter at our poverty striken state. Imagine how humiliating it is to drive up to the KH in a 79 rusty, loud, LTD and see the 'friends' snickering at your ride. How arrogant and stupid. Real love has manners and respects the dignity of others.
(sweet tee of the 'I gets no love' class)
Roberta Flack sang that song in the 1970's.
Don't forget about Justin Timberlake and Black-Eyed Peas
http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00029LNHS/
-ithinkisee
What's WJ??......WELCOME PETRUSKA.
Sorry, i ment JW. Somethimes you will see my bad english... I live in Portugal.
The so called "friends" were at my home monthly if not weekly eating my food, drinking my expensive alcohol wearing my furniture out, asking for favors...where are they now? when my husband left...i did not get one phone call or visit from anyone saying...how are you? do you need anything? is there anything i can do to help? yet these were the same people we took in when they were desperate. Even ones who had been disfellowshipped...i didnt turn my back...i listened...i cried with them through their pain. I got one phone call from a person who WAS NOT a jw and she asked me if i was ok and did i need anything. I see these same people on the street and they act like they never knew me. sometimes i just want to spit in their face. I called the elders but they didnt have anything to say... then when everything hit the fan and was over the elders wanted to talk to see what sins had been committed. And as for the so called "sisters" the same ones that ate at my house and smiled in my face were trying to date my ex before we were even divorced. One in particular wanted items out of our apartment.
love? pleeeeezzzzzzzzzzze
No problem Petruska, alot of use can't spell in english either. I mean me, I have to use the dictionary alot to get the proper spelling.
And may I say welcome to you Petrushka. You have a lovely name.
Well where is the Love? I can honestly and sincerely state that I did love my brothers and sisters very much. Many a time I had gone out of my way to make a person feel like they belonged. Whenever I could I would try and help. I have often been misunderstood by snobs in the congregation. Gossipers loved me. They were constantly wagging their tongues to say cruel and spiteful things about me. Which by the way wasn't true. It only takes one with a dominate personality to get a group to agree with them and then your screwed.
I know in the congregations I attended over my 38 year imprisonment that there are some and I re iterate some who have love and are caring. These however are so few. I am a spontaneous person gregarious as well and I have never lacked for some wonderful friends in the organization. But overall they are quite a selfish bunch of unkind uncaring hypocritical back stabbers. Yes they seem to SPY on you as one of you mentioned above.
Yes I agree when the CO would visit your congregation if you weren't at your best as they'd like you to be, he would visit you and give of drivel that your missed and the brothers are concerned about your spirituality but in the meantime not one single person ever came to visit you. No elders no nobody. In fact during the last two years before I left the CO never even bothered coming to see me yet the brothers were all aware of the crisis that was in my life at that time. If you see a person with tears streaming down their face while taking to you wouldn't you think the CO would ask what is wrong or do you need to talk. No way, not even a visit.. Maybe once a year a visit from a few sisters but that was it. As I was getting more intent on leaving the organizaiton and I was ill during this time, but no one gave a damn, no one visited except the one couple my ex husband would drag into our home. You can tell if a person really wants to see you or not. I had been in the hospital twice just before my departure and no one no elder not a soul visited me except worldly people I knew. Now that is truly a warm congregation. I hated now going to meetings and would use any excuse not to go.
I wanted to believe and to keep going but I couldn't handle it anymore. I just knew what I had to do to survive. And I did and here I am today a far better and happier person.
Scarred emotionaly& mentally, but never a quitter.
(((((((((((hugs to all of you. )))))))))
Love Orangefatcat.
