I have been thinking about this for a while, so here goes. When I was in the "truth" I truly believed in God, I prayed and tried to do what was right ( WT style) Then when I started reading stuff and the experiences on here it didnt take very long before I knew the "truth" wasnt true after all.
So after 20 years as an adult that I spent in, it litrually took a few hours to come out.
Ive asked myself how and why did this happen? And so quickly.
At first I felt I still believed in Jehovah, but if the WT was wrong, where did that leave me. I now realize I never really did have a relationship with him. And thats the key, for all the words the WT spouts about you cultivating a relationship with him, thats were the danger lies, the WT really doesnt want you to.
I had a relationship with the organization not God. This makes me feel stupid and angry.
There are many here who spent many years as an adult in the org, I want to ask did you. Did you have a relationship with him and has it changed, do you feel hes a different God now or the same.
When you look back, was it the org that was important and God took a back seat? And if you dont believe in a God anymore, how can you stop believing in something that you had a relationship with for maybe many years?
I hope Im making sense, its really hard putting thoughts down in writing. I think what I want to know is If you where genuine, I mean not being forced as a youngster, but doing it by your own free will, happy knowing you were pleasing Jehovah where does that leave you now?