20 years ago..a talk concerning field service..sisters crying..eyes opened

by confusedjw 40 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  purplesofa

  A few years ago I signed up to aux pioneer in March. I was temporarily unemployed waiting on a job to start in April. I was so excited. It was the first time to ever be able to have the opportunity to put in this kind of time, being a single mom of 5 kids and always working fulltime. I had years of prepartion in my mind......certain mags I had been eager to place.....mostly ones about peace and the kingdom. The job wound up starting on the 8th of March. uggggggggg.....but I still got the time in. It was not easy but I made a contract with Jehovah to do it. I went out on the weekends and at night, sometimes exhausted from a day of learning a new job. This was by far the biggest thrill for me(aside from telling experiance at assembly) while I was in the truth.

  Anyway, seems shortly afterwards they did interview some that pioneered during that season. I was never asked anything, nor did anyone commend me for even doing it. A new sister to our congregation, who I went with in service alot during that time, trying to encourage her, was very shy at the door, was interviewed, and she blabbed on about this and that. I remember thinking how inadequite she was in service.

  I will never forget how I felt sitting there in the hall. I saw the politics, and the favoritisms. The truth about the truth was unraveling for me, slowly, I realised the "holy spirit" I believed to exist was not true. Even now thinking about it makes me very sad, my joy was killed for ever doing more.

  anyway,

  purps
• 

  love11

  No. For me it was like my only chance to talk to normal people.

  A few times I would have my partner looking at me because of some of the things I would say at the door. Like.. One day this lady said that she goes to her own church and I said, well at least you're showing that you have a love for god and isn't that all that really matters. My partner looked shocked. Then this Hindu guy was very nice to me and I asked if it would be ok if I came back next week so he could tell me more about his religion. After we left the door, my partner asked why I said that, I just said that it was a way in the door. Truth was, I was curious as he**! I wanted to know if what the jw's said about that religion was really true. When we came back the following week, he had incense burning and he was just finishing up yoga. I asked him why he did that and he put a ring of smoke around me, it was so cool. I may not be hindu, but to this day I put a ring of incense around my kids, they think it's cool too.
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  ChrisVance

  Although I was a faithful MS trying to do my best, I hated going door to door. For me it was pretty say hello, oh you're not interested, bye. One time in the mid 80's at the meeting for service the CO said, "If you don't enjoy field service, somethings is wrong." That really stuck in my head. I tried discussing it with a few others, but they didn't want to talk about it. It added guilt to the mountain of guilt I already had and helped me to see the futility of the whole thing. Talk you brother ?????. Can't remember his name.
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  New Worldly Translation

  To me the whole point of 'field service' had been lost decades ago. It was outdated and unproductive. The idea of having pioneers working 40, 60, 90 hours a month preaching on territory that was being re-visited every 2 months or so by normal dubs seemed ludicrous. The idea of reaching and proselytising to people was secondary to a more personal salvation and the appearance of a super-spirituality among those who volunteered for the work. This isn't a criticism of those who pioneered, rather of those who made it seem that putting in those hours was required to please God and inability to fulfill the contract made them a failure.

  It may seem like a jaded view of those who pioneered but I got the feeling that a lot of new recruits signed up to pioneer as they saw it as a way of appeasing God for their past misdemeanors in the 'world'. The truth was they were just following the orgs rules designed to flog more books and booklets. Of those more established in the congs like those who grew up in the org many just felt it was something they should do and if they didn't they'd be looked down on. Many who were so called 'spiritually weak' pioneered to keep themsleves busy and so avoid the temptations of the world.

  For some love of God was a primary motivator but for many it was the idea of making more sure of their place in the 'new world'. Some of the tricks employed by pioneers to count time illustrate this, like the pioneer walk, driving or walking to outlying territory and counting the whole journey, talking to people informally at work maybe and right at the end of the conversation mentioning the witnesses and counting the whole time etc etc. I'm not saying it was wrong. I say fair play, I did it too. It must be admitted though that pioneering is done firstly to please men, secondly to feel good about yourself and thirdly to please God.
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  tweety

  No problem with field service...was a aux pioneer off and on and then did the full time reg pioneer for a couple years. Till this day, I have no problem talking, or meeting people or talking on the phone. haaa My problem is writing skills. I hate writing my thoughts out.

  Give me a phone or put me in a group of people and I have no problem....Put a peice of paper in front of me or typing on these posts and I go blank.

  Weird huh?
• 

  AnnOMaly

  I remember once - many many years ago - we had the CO and his wife over for lunch. My husband and I hadn't been married long. No kids. They suggested that we could be well placed to pioneer, maybe with a long-term goal of going on the circuit work. Basically it was a kind of "The Organization Needs YOU!" pep talk. I remember just starting to cry uncontrollably. I can't remember what I said in explanation. The CO and his wife didn't know what was going on with me. Neither did I. (I think that was the last time we invited any COs and their wives over for lunch.)

  A couple of years later, I was doing a spell of auxilliary pioneering and one day I could feel the pressure welling up with each passing door. I was relieved every time nobody was home. At one point, I got to the door, rang the bell, waited, and tears started to fill my eyes. I snappily said to my husband, "I have to go home." He started to say something about finishing the next few doors and I said through clenched teeth, "NOW!" And so we went home. I didn't know why I was like that.

  I now know why. I have the kind of personality that finds confrontational cold-calling on strangers very stressful. There are people who are natural 'salespeople' who can sell sand to the Arabs, who love striking up conversations with anybody they meet. I am not one of those people. Let me get to know people first socially, before embarking on discussions on topics like religion - and only if it comes up in conversation. Give me a keyboard or paper and pen. But don't ask me to knock on doors, uninvited, to talk to strangers. It's not 'me.'
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  evita

  I loathed field service and was terrible at it. I was painfully shy as a teen and would get very tongue-tied when put on the spot. It was so humiliating. I thought I was the only one with this problem.
  
  I was also embarrassed because when I tried to "witness" it just sounded so stupid and I could see why no one believed it. I met some really nice people at the door and I so envied them their lives. But many people would never come to the door or slam it in our face. As a teenage girl desperate for acceptance this was almost unbearable.
  
  I was also petrified of dogs. We had lots of rural territory with unleashed dogs. Very scary for me; I would freeze up and cry.
  
  I would do anything to get out of going to the door. Often, I would fall asleep in the back seat, or say I had cramps.
  
  Still, I tried to be the perfect little teen dub. I had the cutest book bag. I aux pioneered when I could. I got a lot of attention from the "inner circle" of the congregation when I pioneered and I wanted to be popular.
  At one point I was told I couldn't continue to pioneer because my mag placement was so low.
  
  I wouldn't have cried then if you had asked my about FS but I am almost in tears now just thinking about it.
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  zaphod

  oh, my gosh

  is it just me, or did anyone else picture the sheep and ducks admitting that they had had anti-party thoughts in animal farm.

  creeped me out

  zaphod
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  alw

  new worldly testament reminded me(' when he mentioned some of the tricks employed by pioneers to count time.")of atime when i was a cleaner of windows. the p.o. a pioneer elder said that i could aux. pioneer in the april if i tried really hard. he said that when i clean windows at a certain business, just mention something about the truuf, and when you go back at the end of the day to pick your money up mention something else about the truuf and i could claim the whole day,approx 8 hours, we do it all the time.

  after that i never took an interest in the stastistics in the worldwide report,obviously pleasing men not god.

  i never really wanted to go preaching and my wife hated it.so glad we dont have to anymore. mr.alw
• 

  confusedjw

  Thanks for the responses. It's a tramatic thing to force people to do with the carot being "We love you if you go out in service" and "You don't love God or your neighbor if you don't" Now here is an Awake! on how children should avoid blood - go place it!