20 years ago..a talk concerning field service..sisters crying..eyes opened

by confusedjw 40 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  confusedjw

  Well I can't recall now which public talks it was - one of my first - and it dealt with field service / preaching.

  So I thought I would interview several people in the congregation about service and their thoughts and feelings on the subject, expecting something very different than what I got.

  To my shock (I was an over zealous young buck who thought the sun rose and set on the WT) three sisters burst into tears as they told about their feelings of inadequacy and guilt over field service. It was upsetting seeing the pain they were in.

  It was something that came to my mind often over the years in making up car groups and giving talks on service and doing sheparding calls.

  Would you have been in tears telling me your thoughts and feelings about field service?
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  kls

  Would you have been in tears telling me your thoughts and feelings about field service?

  Heck ya ,i hated it that bad and it still makes me sick thinking about it to this day.
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  Sirona

  YES.

  I used to suffer from severe anxiety (much more than I do now) and field service was a real problem for me. All of the talks on what to say just made me sick. One day I was forced to work with the CO (which was my worst nightmare) and I expressed how difficult I found it and how I worried about what the bros and sisters were thinking about my presentations etc. (because I never felt "right" saying what they told me to say). He responded with "I think you've just got a persecution complex". (WTF????)

  I got into the car and cried my eyes out - he just made me feel even worse.

  Its DISGUSTING that they make ALL dubs go out knocking on doors, even the kids. My sister is naturally shy and simply *couldn't* do field service, and she was counselled by the elders about how to "cure" her shyness, like she was sick or something.

  Sirona
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  Sunnygal41

  Would you have been in tears telling me your thoughts and feelings about field service?

  Unfortunately, no. My ingrained behavior of being a "good JW" would not have permitted me to be so open. I give those sisters immense credit for their honesty. I also think that credit should be given to you, because they must have felt very comfortable with you to be able to let their JW guard down.

  Terri
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  Sunnygal41

  ((((Sirona)))) I felt the same way!!!! My ex, who was also an elder and field service servant, knew how hard it was for me, and I was truthful with him, but, I was very conscious of his position in the congregation and how much I needed to show a supportive, spiritual front to the others, to encourage them, so I suffered severe depression and anxiety at home, feelings of low self esteem and isolation and just not fitting in, because of these feelings.
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  DanTheMan

  To my shock (I was an over zealous young buck who thought the sun rose and set on the WT) three sisters burst into tears as they told about their feelings of inadequacy and guilt over field service. It was upsetting seeing the pain they were in.

  I remember one young sis struggling like hell to get through her first year of 90 hrs/mo pioneering. She made it, and thus was given the "privelege" of attending Pioneer School.

  After Pioneer School was over, they dedicated a service meeting part to interviewing her about the experience. A few minutes into the interview she was overcome with emotion, and a steady stream of tears started flowing down her face as she, in a choked voice she could barely control, related to the congregation the spiritual ecstasy that she had experienced the prior week.

  But, I think the reason for the tears was perhaps a bit different than what she attributed them to at the time. Because during Pioneer School, all you do the entire week is study and field service practically non-stop. For sensitive, guilt-ridden JW's (such as she was) who, for their entire life, have been exposed to a nearly constant barrage of "DO MORE DO MORE DO MORE" from their whip-cracking religious leaders, Pioneer School is one of the few ways that such JW's can experience a reprieve from self-condemnation and feel that they are truly Living Up to Jehovah's Requirements(TM).

  In retrospect, I feel a little sick remembering this. She got DF'd for you-know-what not more than a year later. Wow, a young adult JW flaming out after a year and a half of pioneering, whodathunkit. She was reinstated later, don't know if she is still in da troof now.
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  Sunnygal41

  She got DF'd for you-know-what not more than a year later.

  Dan, that made me giggle............it makes you sound soooo puritanical....."you know what"........fornication...........doin' the wild thang...........oops, sorry, gettin' carried away there............lol...........
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  DanTheMan

  The reason I said "you-know-what" was because it's the same stupid thing everybody gets DF'd for.

  FORNICATION there I said it LOL
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  Satanus
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  jgnat

  Why is there no allowance for the varying strengths and abilities in the congregation? Why does everyone have the same job? Forcing people in to roles they are unsuited for is not only unbiblical, it is inhuman.

  Rom 12:4 - 6 (BBE)

  For, as we have a number of parts in one body, but all the parts have not the same use, So we, though we are a number of persons, are one body in Christ, and are dependent on one another; And having different qualities by reason of the grace given to us, such as the quality of a prophet, let it be made use of in relation to the measure of our faith;