Dating/relationships and ex-dubbyness

by devinsmom 35 Replies latest social relationships

  • dorthy5

    Ok, so I allways thought that dating someone who used to be a witless would be cool , since you would both kinda know what the other had been through in his/her life. Internet Speed Dating Online Agency London, UK So my question is: How many of you date/have dated ex-witnesses, why or why not and does the relationship benifit from it...and just your ideas about it in general ------------------------------------------------------- Dating is the most beautiful thing which can happen between two lovers.

  • R.F.

    Hmmmm....i've pondered this question lately, especially since i'm no longer engaged to my dub fiancee. I would think that two ex-dubs could relate in alot of ways and be very understanding. It would be nice to find out.


  • free2think

    I've thought about this too myself, and it sounds good in principle but i think it really depends how out the person is.

  • sparrow

    I think it's a standard relationship question and it really depends on the people involved. It is definitely a plus to have something in common - likes, dislikes, experiences (which takes in the gammit of growing up a JW). This is what a lot of the time gets people past the "first date". At the same time differences is what can also make it a great relationship.

    Personally I wished I could speak to my wife a lot about what I grew up with and after 3 years I am actually starting to (especially now she has met a lot of ex-JWs) What attracted me to her in the first place had nothing to do with "the truth","witnesses" and all that crap. We just clicked. And I am glad we did...

  • mrsjones5

    I dated two exjws: one was df'd but still believed , I don't know if the other one had ever been baptised but his mother was one (I think his father is dead) and he was just as screwed up as the first one. Now I don't believe all exjw men are that screwy but after those two I felt I was safer dating a worldly man.


  • Jim_TX
    "...i think it really depends how out the person is"

    This sums it up pretty nicely, I think.

    I guess when cupid slings his arrows, you may not have a choice in the matter, but I would also add that I feel that it might depend on the method of 'exit' of the ex-jw.

    For example, I am a 'fader'. To my knowledge - I have never been DFed. I never DAed. I pretty much just walked away, and never went back. Okay... another person may have been DFed. They may have different feelings towards the organization. They may still be 'healing' from what they have been through.

    It also depends on what family the individuals have - that may still be JWs. I have siblings that are JWs - but they pretty much do not mention religion to me when I visit - unless it is their bragging on something that they are doing in the organization - which I could care less about.

    Another individual may have adult children that are still JWs that they are not able to speak to because the kiddos are still JWs, and cannot speak to a DFed person - even if it is their mom.

    In general... and speaking from experience... I would say use caution in dating an ex-jw. I am now happily married... to a most wonderful woman who is not a jw in any form or fashion - although she 'studied' with the jws a long time ago. She is the most wonderful person I could have found to spend the rest of my life with.

    If you are considering dating - do not limit yourself to ex-jws - just because you feel that they may 'understand' what you have been through. Others out there who were never jws have also been through a lot - and may understand more than you think.


    Jim TX

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