by Shawn 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Shawn

    What should I read in the archives inparticular? any suggestions? I am scanning thread topics now.

  • bebu

    Welcome Shawn!

    Well, the first thing I'd recommend is learn how to listen without interrupting. (Read a lot of posts here without responding, for practice.) If you care about people, you can listen. Not only that, but you really won't be heard if you haven't listened, first. You might be saying lots of great things, but no one will listen if your attitude comes across as condescending, even if that tone's unintentional.

    This board sees a frequent series of fly-by evangelists who write long, long, looooooooong apologetics about the poor theology of the JWs and how JWs must be saved. No one reads them (much)! Or else the writers are given a hard time. These fly-bys disappear in a day or two. JWs can recognize a superior attitude in others, or anything that has the appearance of that attitude, as a superior attitude was encouraged. -- This is not to say that these particular evangelists are not sincere; I just think their love is underdeveloped. It's as if they only have a hammer in their toolbox, and that's all they usually try to use. They seem to think, "Well, I tried but nobody listened," but the fact is they haven't really tried to love JWs as people, even the tough guys on this board. They just seem to consider JWs as objects to save. These fly-by evangelists haven't listened but generally demand others to listen to them; they have no idea of the needs of their audience. They don't want to know. That they don't care is obvious! If they did care, they would stick around and get to know people... they would enter dialogues, not just post tomes.

    "Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. It isn't rude or self-seeking, isn't easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn't delight in evil but it rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails." Ask God to help you love the JWs He puts along your path in an authentic way, whether or not they listen to you.

    I hope you don't feel discouraged by the comments you've received, but they are very good ones, imo.

    BTW, www.freeminds.org has a page on How to Talk with JWs. Take the following link to the page, and click on the words "Brief Slide Presentation". http://www.watchtowernews.org/howto/index.htm

    Listen. Love. Then consider speaking in a dialogue. (Not speaking in tongues! hehe) That's what I'd advise.


  • bebu

    Shawn, thanks for asking for a reference!


    This is the thread for newbies! And you will hopefully learn a great deal from it.


  • seven006


    There is a "best of" section on the board that has topics you might find useful. I'm not exactly sure how to get to it (maybe someone else can help) but it is a good place to start. Don't read any of mine, they are not what you would call Jesus friendly.

    Good luck in helping your friend. Just try being a friend first and a born again second. You may get a little farther.

    Take care,


  • phil78

    As one who only recently decided to leave, i can still easily remember the old life. Being born a witness, and staying till i was 26, the teachings and ways of a witness are still fresh. Please understand, you can not take a witness out of the religion by simply insisting they are wrong, or that their society is mis-leading them.

    We are taught repiticiously NOT to dabble in other faiths or ideas, and to cut off those that act against these directions. We dont even question why we are taught that. Your only way of helping a JW is to find ones already questioning their faith, and then slowly build on their own dis-satisfaction. Let them lead themselves away. They cant be dragged away, or pushed.

    Like in the Matrix, where Morpheus finds Neo because he was already searching for answers to questions. Questions he didn't even know yet. Neo just knew that something wasn't right, and was searching for what that was. Morpheus finds Neo, waits for the right time, and offers him the pills. It then becomes Neo's own responsability to see the answers or not.

    God i love that movie.


  • NewLight2

    "Many of us have examined the world and it's history outside of the christian take on the myth and do not believe in Jahoba or even Christ for that matter." - - Dave


    Yes, Dave, I realize that is how a lot of ex-JW's end their journey 'OUT'. But to get to this point, they usually start their search believing in Jehovah, but may end their search in unbelief. That is what I was trying to say to Shawn.


  • NewLight2

    Here is the 'Best Of' section.

    Shawn, here is some additional URL's that you might find helpful.


    Two books written by Steven Hassan are recomended reading:

    Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing The Bonds

    You might want to check out these web pages:

    Jehovah's Witnesses: A Critical Analysis

    A Bible Study Outline

    These two contain many links to important information regarding the Watchtower Society.

    NewLight2's Links Page

    Johannes Greber's Home Page

    Here is one that deals with Mind Control and Cults
    Mind Control - The BITE Model

  • jgnat

    I hadn't realized I had been discouraging. I haven't given up on my JW husband yet! I am trying to lay out for you, Shawn, that this is not a quick-fix kind of problem. You quickly entered the mine-field when you used trigger words like "mission" and "truth". JW's and ex-JW's alike will react strongly to that kind of language.

    Bravo bebu, for laying the listening problem out so well. I remember a fruitless evening when my JW hubby and my headstrong daughter threw bible verses at each other. I sat in the middle madly flipping through my concordance, helping both of them find the key scriptures to bring their point home. Afterwards, my daughter said,

    "Anyways, Christianity came out on top on that one. But boy, is he ever stubborn!"

    My hubby said,

    "At least True Christianity came out the winner. I am more convinced than ever that I have the Truth. But boy, is your girl ever stubborn! Doesn't she ever give up?"

    So tell me, who was the winner? I am convinced that we have to win the hearts of our JW friends first, before we ever engage their minds. If God has given this as a mission for you, Shawn, you have a lot of learning and listening to do. Now, get busy!

  • Shawn

    Thank you everyone who has posted. So far I have been encouraged to read a lot more on this site and was up until extremely late finding stuff out. There truley is a wealth of knowledge here. I am going to read CoC today and continue to read past threads. The newbie thread was VERY helpful in finding info. I am sad to see that the link for scanned WT lit. is not good anymore. If anyone knows of another I would like to know about it. Thanks again.

  • NewLight2

    "I am sad to see that the link for scanned WT lit. is not good anymore. If anyone knows of another I would like to know about it." -- Shawn


    Can you re-locate the non-working url link that you are referring to in the above quote and post it in this thread? It would help in trying to find out where the site went.

    In the meantime, this link page does have several scanned pages from WT lit.



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