What does it take to be an MS these days?

by Pwned 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  breeze

  Blondie,

  You are soooo narrow......

  You know men are superior....

  BREEZE
• 

  iiz2cool

  A prospective MS must fill the following criteria:

  1. Must have appropriate sexual equipment, not necessarily in working order.
  2. Medium height and build.
  3. Pasty complexion is preferred.
  4. Dark rimmed glasses with untinted lenses. Glasses give the illusion that he is studious.
  5. Should be a good speaker. Knowing what he's talking about is optional.
  6. Tassels on his shoes definitely kick him up a notch.
  7. Ability to look directly into a persons eyes while lying.
  8. Calloused hands are not good, therefore he should use a good lubricant when masturbating.
  9. A fondness for the sweet smell of shit, as he must exert himself vigerously in the licking of elders asses.
  10. Must be uneducated.
  11. When the society says "JUMP!" he asks "HOW HIGH?"
  12. Must be exemplary in going from door to door and telling people lies.
  13. Should clean windows for a living. He does not need to be good at it.
  14. Should have a submissive wife. She should be smarter than him to keep things from falling apart, but she must be silent.
  15. Should arrive at the meetings early so as to posture before the other meeting attendees.

  Walter
• 

  Dragonlady76

  Blondie,

  A penis for one thing.

  ROFLMAO!

  Dragonlady76
• 

  willyloman

  1. pulse

  2. pants
• 

  Dragonlady76

  Ok I will stop being silly, My dad is an MS has been for over 20 years, But I don't know what the actual requirements are. What surprises me today is the young age at which you can become an MS, at my old hall it was unheard of to appoint any brother under 25. But now it seems like 18 is fair game. They must be desperate.

  Dragonlady76
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  To become a MS these days a male must...

  Kiss butt big time to the upper echelon.

  Not miss meetings at all.

  Kiss butt big time to the upper echelon.

  Be an excellent public speaker.

  Kiss butt big time to the upper echelon.

  Wait.

  While waiting, continue kissing butt big time to the upper echelon.

  DY
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Requirments;

  1- Big lips

  2- Surgical suture - #6 will work well

  3- Two elders - one the PO - the extra elder should be good with a sewing kit

  4- 15 minutes free to have your lips sewed squarely to the PO's ass
• 

  Preston

  Male

  Good service record

  You believe in everything the WT says (they asked me if I did when I became an MS)

  You take orders easily

  You come on time to every meeting

  You wear your jacket all the time even in 100 degree heat

  You underline everything

  You are already engaging in the enviable position of 1.) passing mics 2.) doing someone else's talks on the fly 3.) working at the lit counter

  Your kids are kept in line

  - Preston
• 

  JAVA

  2. pants

  Up or down?
• 

  Spook

  Contrary to the counsel shown in the new "Draw Close To Jehovah" book (Read: Draw close to insanity), your field service hours are compared to the local congregations. You must surpass the local average.

  And shave those sideburns!