Gumbys Sunday School Sermon - Handicapped People

gumby

Good morning fellow servants of the Lord, and welcome!

Lets all stand and sing song number #666 "Our merciful God"

*prayer*
*passes really big collection plate*

Today my heart is heavy as I have been told by the Lord of some major changes that need to be addressed to our congregation.
As most of you know, we have many fine brothers and sisters here and many of them perform many functions in the church. Some of these dear ones however have infirmities.....such as bad eyesight,are lame, or have skin problems, etc. We love these dear ones and their hard work.....but I'm afraid we are forced to turn to the healthy brethren to replace these ones. Why?

I'd like to read a passage from the scriptures regarding this matter.

Ex.4:11 "Who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?"

We see from the scriptures that the Lord gives infirmities to people because we know the Lord has a reason for every single thing he does as he see's the bigger picture that we do not.

The Lord has asked me to share some scriptures with you this morning however regarding the role in the church those whom the Lord has stricken should play within the church.

Please follow with me in your bibles as we cover these issues.

Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach:
a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. ... Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries."

I'm afraid our lovely pimplefaced sister zitski will no longer be able to be our secretary

Our faithful blind piano player..brother Kantsee will be missed.

Brother lefty, our kind, older, one legged, sports coach will need to find other work.

Brother Washington will no longer perform his blues solo's during choir as he has no tip on his nose and it's pretty flat.

Sister Shorty...our midjet soccer goalie on our soccer team will have to go.

Brother Uncordinated...our youth pastor, will no longer serve since he broke his arm at youth camp two summers ago.

Brother Onenut will no longer be singing tenor in the choir.

Yes my little sheep.....our Lord is a holy God, and those that serve in honorable positions, must be free of infirmities or blemishes of any kind.
Look at it this way....if the Lord loved you enough to make you infirm.....he can also make you firm one day. When that day arrives, we can welcome back our infirm faithful brothers and sisters to the honorable positions they one held so dearly.

Now lets all stand and sing from our hearts song # 12 "short people" and also remember after the prayer.......the Lord loves a cheerful giver.

*prays*

*passes real big collection plate*

*gets ass kicked after services by the infirm*

Rev, Gumby

candidlynuts

gumby.. you and randy newman should rot in the same hell! he ruined my preteen years with that evil song

life at armpit level in crowds suck!

i hereby disassociate myself from the church of Gumby!

and if i ever reach 5ft i'm gonna kick your behiney!

rwagoner

I ready your sunday school sermon and while I hope it was meant as food for thought it struck ne that it does seems to be the prevailing attitude today...but now it is wrapped in a nice heart wrenching package by the folks in hollywood.

How many oscars did the crippled killing movie.."Million Dollar Baby"..earn ? -- Disgusting.

It seems pretty ironic that Clint Eastwood gets sued for violating the American's with Disabilities Act and fights it all the way to the Supreme Court...even asking in court "why can't these people (people with disabilities) just go away?"

The next movie he directs is "Million Dollar Baby"....about a person who becomes disabled and feels that it is better to be dead than disabled so they have a friend sneak into their hospital room at the rehab center and kill them. What a tragic life, being disabled....and what a heroic and true friend who would save them from this awful fate and put them out of their misery of not being "normal"....

Makes me want to puke....and yet most people don't see the horror and injustice in this type of thinking. They support these films with their ticket dollars and by rewarding them with awards and aclaim.

Here is a side of the story that many never here.....

Gill

Hi Gumby!

Is this 'New Light?'

Can you tell me who it was that was inspired with this 'New Light' and when it happened?

Love Gill

Elsewhere

Poor Sister Ilene, she lost her leg in that tragic donation box accident... now she can't pioneer anymore.

Dude, just because you don't want to die does not mean that we should deny others the right to die if they wish. If someone lives in a constant state of misery and wishes to die, that is their own decision and should be respected. Forcing someone in intolerable pain to continue to live to satisfy one's own fear of death is extremely selfish and cruel.

rwagoner

DUDE....LOL Dude ?

I don't recall claiming any fear of death or even mentioning it for that matter so your assumption there is incorrect....

I also take the position, or any position for that matter, that individuals shouldn't have a right to make their own decision on the matter...

What I DID say and DO find disgusting is the glorification of killing someone simply because thay have a disability by those in the hollywood community. The devalueing of life and normalization of death as an option because having to live with a disability must be so awful shouldn't be fashionable.

What if hollywood made a film where someone considered suicide simply because they were black or gay and simply too old....there would be a public outcry.

But hey...its okay to kill the cripples... they're all terribly miserable anyway...they don't serve any useful purpose....just sit around and collect government checks (or file lawsuits against hollywood directors) and wish they could walk...or see..or hear..or whatever....

RGW - of the "does this wheelchair make my ass look fat" class..........

Nancy Drake

Brother Onenut will no longer be singing tenor in the choir.

Mind-blowing oration, as usual, Rev...

Sunnygal41

Gumby...........thank you once again for showing us how much of an "Fing Bastard" Jeehoober is............sure glad he don't skeer me anymore. (walks off thread muttering about Vengeful Sky Gods)

Scully

Dear Reverend Gumby

The vestal virgins and I are having a spa day today and will be unable to enjoy your sermon this morning. I'm afraid you're on your own.

But I kinda wanted to ask you to re-think this kicking people out of your congregation just because they are disabled. Don't you like the~~ir money~~m anymore?

Oh, one more thing.... I borrowed some money from the collection plate. Spa days are ridiculously expensive, but we do them for you, beloved Rev Gumby.

your humble servant, Sister Scully

Elsewhere

What I DID say and DO find disgusting is the glorification of killing someone simply because thay have a disability

No one has said that or even suggested it. The movie and my comments are regarding someone in pain and misery and wishing to die.

Regarding the idea of killing people just because they are disabled, I agree, that is a very cruel thing and is wrong. If you don't like that idea then I suggest you take it up with the god of the bible who suggested the idea to begin with.

Gumbys Sunday School Sermon - Handicapped People

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