Gumbys Sunday School Sermon - Handicapped People

by gumby 74 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • gumby
    gumby

    Sister Xenawarrior....that man was an imposter and no relation to me. The only pet I have ever owned is a blow fish.

    As for the ladies and the pipe, I also accept herbal donations if put in a ziplock baggie and put in a white envelope if your short on your tithing money. Anything a half oz'er or more will suffice.

    Rev, Gumby

  • talesin
    talesin

    Ah dear brother, tea for 3 then? Let's all just share. /

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Gracious! So sorry I am late for the service Reverend Gumby Dude. I had the most atrocious time getting here. First of all, some poor dumb bastard had painted over the handicapped parking spaces in the front of the church, and I had to circle the parking lot all afternoon to find a place to park. When I did find a place, it was next to a pothole and my wheelchair simply had a difficult time getting through the water and gravel onto the pavement.

    Sadly it was not over yet as my makeup had smeared from the sweat of my efforts, and with all of my zits showing on my flat nose I simply had to re-apply my makeup. This was very difficult to do with my bad eyes and arthritis. I may have to turn over my choir duties for a while since my asthma is flaring up as well.

    Surely, I have missed the sermon, but I'm sure that in your wisdom you have taped it? My husband will be happy to hear such uplifting and loving words this evening since he is still in bed after having been kicked in the stones by the mule last week. We fear they may be goners.

    At any rate, um...why are you looking at me like that? Did I miss something?

    Jeannie

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Tal!!!!! Fill up that pipe, ma chere...........we'll wait til the Gumdude is done blowin hot air out errr....sorry, sermonizin'...........some nice herbal tea will go nicely with our smoke...........should I stop by the local 7/11 for some munchies? Goin' right past one on my way to your tent.............

  • talesin
    talesin

    Hmmm,,, French Vanilla Ice Cream and some chocolate would be nice ... Thanks, hon, the kettle is on.

    *ahem .. *

    So, I'll see you for some tea after the service, Brother? Very good, then. Oh, no, I won't be able to attend ... don't want to spread this cold around ... *coughs gently, then smiles bravely*

    .. bye, now!

  • gumby
    gumby
    My husband will be happy to hear such uplifting and loving words this evening since he is still in bed after having been kicked in the stones by the mule last week. We fear they may be goners.

    Jeanibeans.....does this mean what I think it does? A husband MUST be a good provider my sweet sister. Perhaps you'd enjoy the hotub with me and the other stoners sisters....Sunnygal and talesin. We have an uplifting time in the hotub.

    May god bless you my child,

    Rev Gumby

    Oh...Sister SunnyGal,.....while your at 7-11....could you get a pint of JD for the ol' Rev please? It helps with my stomach ailment.

  • xenawarrior
    xenawarrior
    that man was an imposter and no relation to me. The only pet I have ever owned is a blow fish.

    They caught up with him then eh?

    Well, that's what they get anyway!! Who takes a check from a rubber man and doesn't expect it to "bounce"? Geez !!

    BTW- that "stomach ailment" isn't a disability in diguise is it?

  • gumby
    gumby
    BTW- that "stomach ailment" isn't a disability in diguise is it?

    If you must know sister, some anonymous, blemished, handicapped, of the congregation thought it would be funny to make me a chocolate cake using ex-lax and cannabis for ingredience and my bowels are a mess. The Lord will serve them justice in his own time. Hallelujah!

    Rev, Gumby

  • talesin
    talesin
    my bowels are a mess.

    errmm ... on second thoughts ... maybe it's a bit chilly for the hot tub today ... we'll just all sit around on the patio.

    Now, where could Sunnigal be?

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    Does not everyone know George bush hates disabled people and he hates the poor or atleast those who make less than $100,000.00 a year

    If he could he would have all the disabled killed off. And if your not a christian ? Well hell he would have you killed off too, if he could get away with it.

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